When a client tells you his or her opponent is a sociopath, please be aware of the ramifications for your legal case.
First of all, do not disregard the statement just because the opponent hasn’t killed anyone. A common perception is that sociopaths are all deranged serial killers. This is not true—only a small percentage of sociopaths commit murder. But all sociopaths are social predators, and live by exploiting others.
Frequently this is financial exploitation—many sociopaths are skilled con artists—but not always. Sociopaths also target people who can provide them with a place to live, business connections, sex, housekeeping or other support services, children, or a respectable image in the community while they live double lives. The point is that sociopaths intentionally use manipulation and deceit to hook their target. They continue the manipulation and deceit to keep the exploitation going, bleeding the target until there is nothing left. At that point, some sociopaths abandon the target, moving on without a backward glance.
Sometimes, however, the target gets wise to the sociopath, and wants to end the involvement. At this point, some sociopaths become enraged at the possibility of losing control, and set out to crush the target. They are not interested in compromise or equitable distribution. They do not want to give the target whatever he or she is entitled to. They want to grind the target into the dirt.
What you need to understand about sociopaths
1. A sociopath’s prime objective is power and control. All they want is to win.
2. Sociopaths love the drama of court because it gives them an opportunity to win. They do not consider the possibility that they may lose. If they do lose, they view it a bump in the road, and figure out how to attack the target again. Forcing the target to incur steadily mounting legal expenses is considered a win.
3. Sociopaths lie. They lie convincingly. They have no qualms about lying in court documents or on the witness stand.
4. Sociopaths manipulate other people to lie for them. These witnesses may not know they are lying—they may simply believe everything that the sociopath has told them, because sociopaths are so convincing.
5. Sociopaths feel no obligation to follow court orders or the law. They only follow court orders or the law if they perceive an advantage in doing so. But they are experts at figuring out ways to use the law to further their objective, which is to crush your client.
How people become targets
Most of us believe that people are basically good inside and everybody just wants to be loved. Because we do not know that there are exceptions to these beliefs—namely, sociopaths—we have huge blind spots that these predators can exploit.
No normal person intentionally becomes involved with a lying, manipulative sociopath. So when your client tells you outrageous stories of the sociopath’s behavior, and also says he or she never knew about the behavior, or accepted the sociopath’s explanations, your client is most likely telling the truth.
How do these entanglements happen? Sociopaths are always on the lookout for people they can use. When they encounter someone through any social interaction, they quickly evaluate whether that person has something that they want. If the answer is yes, they assess the person for vulnerabilities. Then they figure out how to exploit the person’s vulnerabilities to achieve their objective.
Sociopaths engage in calculated seduction. If you’re handling a divorce case, the seduction was romantic. If it’s some other type of case, the seduction may have involved shared beliefs, aspirations or goals. Either way, in the beginning of the involvement the target is subject to a wonderful honeymoon of admiration and promise.
Once the target is hooked, the sociopath begins the exploitation, while simultaneously ramping up manipulation to keep the target under control. This may involve:
Isolating the target from his or her support network
Emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual or financial abuse
Gaslighting—making the target doubt his or her own perceptions
What you need to understand about the target
1. Involvement with a sociopath is like living in a black hole of chaos. Your client, the target, has probably had every aspect of his or her life disrupted:
Career interrupted
Finances ruined
Health compromised
Home and property neglected
Relationships shattered
By the time the legal action commenced, your client may have already been in free fall for a long time. He or she may feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the issues that need to be addressed.
2. Involvement with a sociopath can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). At one time PTSD was diagnosed only in relation to a single traumatic event that involved risk of serious injury or death, coupled with intense fear, horror or helplessness. A new definition identifies a type of PTSD that results from cumulative trauma and long-term injury.
3. PTSD is a psychiatric injury (not a mental illness). PTSD causes biochemical changes in the brain and affects certain areas of the brain’s anatomy. Common symptoms include intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating and exhaustion.
4. The litigation against the sociopath makes your client re-experience the underlying trauma and triggers the symptoms of PTSD. Dr. Karin Huffer, in her book Unlocking Justice, explains what happens:
Mentally reliving the trauma during legal proceedings simultaneously activates parts of the brain that support intense emotions while diminishing the functions of the central nervous system that controls motor output, regulates physiological arousal, and impedes the ability to communicate in words. Memory fails and intrusive emotions sabotage concentration on the task at hand. Litigants feel incapable of the spontaneous verbal response and interaction required in typical courtroom exchanges. As a result, the litigant with PTSD might be driven to avoid topics. They literally do not hear them. They disconnect when they need to engage. And, at times, they clearly are nonfunctional and are unable to communicate their symptoms and needs in a formal manner accepted by the courts.
5. Targets of sociopaths have been deceived, betrayed and perhaps subject to violence. They approach the courts expecting justice, which sociopaths actively thwart. When justice is denied, and targets instead experience profound and prolonged injustice, their PTSD takes on another dimension, which Huffer identifies as “Legal Abuse Syndrome.”
Your client’s experience
The goal of this letter, Mr. or Ms. Esquire, is to help you understand what your client has experienced. My objective is to explain why he or she may be having difficulties with the litigation process, and difficulties moving on in life. The sociopath intentionally used your client—perhaps for years—and may be intentionally attempting to destroy him or her now.
Your client is not irrational, lazy or obstinate. Your client is having a normal reaction to profound betrayal.
Hi
Friend, Thank you so much. You do know I would have been in a lunatic
asylum a very long time ago if it wasn't for you. You are such a good
and kind friend to me. I re read my baby diaries today and even if it
had not been me who wrote them and I simply read them, you can tell
love just poured out of the mother writing them, you cannot make up
fact as happened so that has helped. Thank you Friend, I am fine,
just sad but tomorrow is another day.
Email
from Friend “Anne,
I know from what you wrote that you can keep your safety net around
you. You just have to do that and not pay any attention to what
youngest wrote. He is hurting and in deep pain and you are the only
one he can throw stones at. You know and I know that you are not to
blame. End of story. But horrible to see and read what he wrote”
Youngest
had posted on Twitter “after 15 weeks of assessment, finally got
my report- I didn't get a diagnosis but got psychological
formulation, tho she did say my closest diagnosis would be borderline
and Schizoid. My psych report is a damming indictment of my parents,
especially my mother”
My
brain cannot or won't process how this child of mine who was so loved
by me could now be this man, this stranger, this chronic abuser of
his own mother. I am not how he constantly describes, who is this
person. I do not know the person he has become. And who are the
professionals giving him the labels he craves without having the full
story. No one will ever know my child as I do.
Youngest
on Twitter “I've been in hospital for like 27 hours now”
He did not explain why.
I
feel completely drained. I know I shouldn't be reading the bile
youngests posts on Twitter because it pulls me down into a dark, dank
pit of gloom. It leaves me stupefied and questioning my sanity with,
is he right, was it me, is it all my fault. That's the kind of brain
I now have. And no he's not right and no it's not all my fault. His
brain is wired wrong due to his father and his grand fathers
genetics. I have letters from his Grand fathers sister who gave me
the facts. It was certainly not youngests upbringing. I wish there
was a law against damming an innocent person online with no right to
defend themselves, he knows I would be defending myself immediately
with every key stroke he makes because he knows me so well.
2nd
October 2017
Feeling
very, very, very, very down and very low in spirit. I cannot switch
my thoughts off. I'm staring down an abyss. If anyone asked me if I
had any regrets I would tell them no. I just want to know what the
fuck it's all been for. Why the two men (sons) in my life who I loved
with every part of me, chose to try and obliterate my health, mental
and physical and left me such an emotional wreck that I refuse to
have any close relationship with anyone ever again as I will never
expose myself to that level of hurt, pain, torture, anguish,
heartache or heartbreak ever again. I love the three close friends I
now have in my life and as always my Friend who still rings me weekly
but I keep my home and my work life very much separate. I am a
different person now in the house, I am a lone wolf who just exists.
I am no longer scared in the house to turn my back as no one is here
to hypothetically stab me in the back but those two men destroyed me,
they robbed me of my total joy of life, they stifled and eventually
suffocated my very spirit, they left me deflated, so all I do now is
drag myself thru each day and hope one day the real me will come
back. I liked that person.
12th
October 2017
I
sent youngest all his childhood photo's by email but I doubt him
seeing photo's of himself as a happy, healthy and loved child will
ever change his stance. I need to keep telling myself that he's
mentally ill and lives in his own negative world so needs dire and
negative childhood fantasies to match his dire and negative
adulthood. I thank god I wrote “baby diaries” since pregnancy and
have many “home movies” of him and his brother because his made
up shit sure make me question my sanity continually.
16th
October 2017
Hi
Friend, Hope all is well with you. I'm still sick, my head cold has
now gone onto my chest. I'm disgusted with youngest, I had been
staying off his Twitter but I checked just now and I swear that boy
will get me hung with his lies or himself banged up in a psych unit
for a long time. No wonder I can never get my head round anything and
keep in mind what is real and not real. His latest post is: "Do
you know how affirming it is when your 20 years of abuse and neglect
is not only acknowledge but being addressed by psychs" How
in god's name can he say such a thing to professionals, he is
definitely not referring to his father as only I ever loved and
parented him so it's obviously me he's claiming "abused and
neglected" him but how? because he was never abused nor
neglected by me in his life, the only wrath he ever got from me was
my cursing mouth when I could take no more and Gheel were certainly
told because I was screaming at them about him down the phone. I
don't think he will be happy till I'm 6 feet under and that's the
truth as I feel it. I really do not know who he is at all and if he
came near my door now I would not open it. It is awful to be
portrayed as something you're not and never have been and never will
be and I have no idea what he could possibly be achieving with these
accusations and have "psychs" acknowledge and address,
whatever the hell that means. I am afraid that like his father he
will manipulate and pull the wool over everyone's eyes that he is a
victim which will never get him the real professional help he needs.
I just cannot believe it. The rest below is just a few other bits
he's posted. I am not working till Saturday. Take care Friend and
thank you, no need for any reply.
"He
then gave me an appointment 2 weeks out to see his psychologist who’s
on holiday. Suicidal depression doesn’t take a fucking holiday”
“I
now understand why one of his patients killed herself”
“To
quote “Get
drunk, find a gun”
“The
statistics for completed suicides in BPD are 400% higher than the
[U.S.] national average
I
think it’s quite clear that this is compounded by psychs blatant
refusal to treat, to diagnose, the associated stigma and multi
diagnosis”
“Quite
startling to see your own words echoed by those who are now dead”
“Because
if those before you couldn’t be helped what makes you any
different”
“Another
bastard psych appointment tomorrow. I wonder how detailed you need to
get about ideation before they take you seriously”
“I
had screening tests at another place 4 weeks ago now and that hasn’t
been addressed at all. No medication, no nothing”
I
don't know what I would have done all these years without my dear
friend's common sense, friendship and wisdom.
24th
October 2017
I
had to go to my GP to get blood results and told him “I'll tell you
the real reason I'm here after my results” My bloods were fine,
I've just got anaemia. He's a nice enough man even tho I've had my
fair share of run ins with him but when I really need to tell him
something important I write it down because I don't want to be a
blubbering wreck in his office and then have to walk the street till
it's time for my bus home. I gave him what I wrote: “I need help
but NOT medication. I relive losing my boys daily in slow motion, I
relive their whole lives in my head daily when I'm alone at home. I
think of them whilst I'm travelling to work and tears pour down my
face on the bus, I'm embarrassed at doing so in a public arena and
afraid I'm going to crack up again. I'm not depressed, I'm having a
great time at work, I love my work and the people I work with and the
customers, I could not be any happier doing that. It's my constant
thoughts when I'm not distracted by work. Guilt is eating me up re my
failure to cope solo with my boys and all their problems”
The
GP read all youngest had written online about me and he knows the
effect it's had on me. He started asking me questions “Do the boys
see their father, Is he psychotic too, what was he like to live with”
and when I answered his questions, the tears just poured out of me
which is what I didn't want to happen. He said “I know exactly
what's wrong with you, your self esteem is rock bottom, you're not a
failure, you did your very best no matter what your sons say to the
contrary. They were born like this, it's up to them to come to terms
with it and stop blaming you. Stop reading anything from them, you're
torturing yourself. Some people don't like talking but you do which
is why I know you're troubled when you don't want to talk. You're a
loving person, a spiritual person, you just need your self esteem
brought back to normal” And he gave me the name and number of a
Spiritual Counsellor but I would never be able to afford it on my
income.
1st
November 2017
Interview
for another new second job. I started tonight. It's hard work but it
will do me good.
Youngest
has written “Finished my first session of Cognitive Analytic
Therapy. My therapist said my mother was completely emotionally
abusive and neglectful. It was.....validating”
I
cannot take any more of his lies, it's alright my friends of many
years standing who live far away from me to tell me to just ignore
him but that man knows what buttons to push in me, he's been
practising on me his whole life and his “script” never changes. I
must have had a crystal ball as I forecast he would re write his
whole history years ago. How can these “therapists” not see thru
him, his manipulation, his attention seeking, his slander. His
written words do not hurt me as badly as they used to any more. It's anger I now feel. If a therapist is sealing his lies with validation
what's to stop an erratic mentally ill man harm me in person and
most probably get away with it. I'm putting it in writing to my GP so
that if anything does happen to me from my youngest son's hands that
there is a record of it. There is never any sign of his erratic
mental illness when he is pursuing women and travelling to London to
see his favourite band.
I
re started counselling and was told “it was dreadful domestic
abuse” and youngest “is projecting all anger on you, it's not
true so do not water the seed, you need self love and self care, it's
a living bereavement you are going thru and eldest only wants you when
he needs someone to fight his battles then he has no more use of you,
set boundaries, strong boundaries, you know his chapter and verse,
help me, fight for me then fuck off abuses, only you can stop it all”
I
had a dream about my youngest. He was walking towards me and looked
like he did when he was 10 years old, he held his arms out for me to
hug him and I did hug him for a long time and I said to him but you
don't like me or love me any more and he replied but your my mum, my
mum, my mum. I woke up crying and with conflicting emotions, it was a
lovely dream and felt so real to be hugging him but it wasn't real at
all. My son is gone.
My
eldest son is now 25 years old and I hope he is happy and healthy and
no longer stuck in the same place with agoraphobia. I haven't seen
him in person since he was 21 years old and I have not spoken to him
since March 2016 when he needed my help to fight his battles then
told me I was useless and to fuck off again. It only seems like
yesterday when I brought my most beloved first born son into the
world and travelled home with him from the hospital with Simply Red's
“Your Babies” playing on the car radio. He was so loved and
wanted and precious and beautiful.
Youngest
has written on Twitter that I slapped both him and his brother so
hard when they were 3 or 4 that hand prints were left on their skin
for hours afterwards and that I made my eldest eat soap because he
said the word bastard. I am utterly destroyed that he can come up
with nothing but lies. My children were never slapped ever by me
except when my eldest slammed a plug and a double adaptor into my
face and spat fully in my face when we lived in the cottage and he
was 12 years old then. I can only assume he's writing it for my
benefit, to either hurt me which its obviously doing or that he wants
some sort of reaction from me.
My
adopted daughter T rang me at 8.30pm and when I told her what
youngest had now written she did not hold back. She said “I've
known those two since one was in primary school and the other
starting secondary school and not only is youngest a fucking liar but
he has no good left in him at all any more. I believe he is dangerous
to you and also dangerous to anyone that is close to you, I think he
will hurt anyone close to you as he knows how much that would cause
you real pain and me and my kids will never feel safe visiting you
again. Any one who does not know you and reads the shite he's writing
will think that he is a poor soul and that's what he wants people to
think and to feel sorry for him and think on his behalf what a bad
bastard his mother must be but he is the bad bastard and I have no
doubt at all he will try and kill you and get away with it by playing
the mental health card” I said “why does he not use his real name
on Twitter and he knows I read it because he wrote “I know you read
this” T said “I have never known anyone in my life change the way
he did, he was leading a double life when he lived with you, all nice
and affectionate to you when I was visiting but going up to his
bedroom and posting nothing but badness about you and you knew
nothing about it for years, he is just the same mould as his father”
Counselling
I
was asked when youngest first started changing. It was an unexpected
question. As upsetting as I found it all I had a light bulb moment.
My youngest saw how I reacted every time his father lied to me or
about me and he saw the energy I mentally used up to go all out to
disprove his lies. I don't know why I have this constant need to show
liars for what they are especially when those lies are directed at
me. But I'm exhausted now, I feel I have no fight left in me. I am
emotionally and mentally drained and have no interest in people or
life any more. My zest has gone completely. My youngest broke me down
completely in the house till I could take no more and had him removed
by the Garda and now he is obsessed and wants revenge all because I
could not cope with him or his brother any more, no one could cope
with them solo and I was supposed to be “a strong woman” and that
is all I am guilty of. I'm no saint, what human is, I have the
biggest mouth on me, but I am not the sinner he is trying to portray
me as either. I simply could not cope solo. Youngest knows I was
petrified, scared out of my wits petrified of his fathers craziness
which almost drove me into insanity. His attempted ruination of my
reputation has been going on for 4 damn years now and I cannot take
it any more. I refuse to take it any more and if he ever becomes sane
again I hope he is proud of himself and the torment he put me thru
when living with me and when not living with me. If I was “an
abusive cunt” why did he not just leave when he reached 16, why did
he have to be put out by the Garda. There is a flaw in my own
genetics, there must be because I cannot get my head around any of
this, weighing up the child I loved and adored and would have died or
killed for and this man he is now. I sobbed thru the whole
counselling session and had to go to my second job after that. I'm
not in a good place at all.
T
rang me after I sent her a text. She said “he's a grown ass,
dangerous man, yet so sly because he never gave or gives anyone else
the abuse and shit he gave you” My head does know that she's
correct but my heart still sees my adored baby. So my youngest baby,
whatever this was about, you win as I'm all done in now, I hope that
makes you happy son.
Went
to my GP and showed him all my youngest is claiming and I feel
psychologically damaged. He told me to be less emotional and to stay
strong. If I could manage that I would not be sitting in his bloody surgery,
he offered me anti depressants, I'm not depressed, I just want the
shit to stop. I came out with tears pouring down my face, the lovely
receptionist told me to sit in the staff toilet till I was ready to
leave. On the bus home the counsellor rang me out of the blue, I
jumped off the bus and sobbed all the way home on the phone with her,
she said “your son is being very cruel” She pointed out to me
“you never gave up till you could not go on any longer as your own
health was at risk so never think you are a failure”
But
I am a failure, because I failed, big time.
One
of the girls in work who now knows me very well and is a great friend
gave me a mothers day card, chocolates and a beautiful bouquet of
flowers for being motherly. I was so touched at her kindness and
thoughtfulness. She said “you should know by now how much you are
loved by us girls” I will never forget her kind heart.
Counselling
session.
I'd
printed out and handed over my early journals to her. She said “it's
disgusting the way your sons spoke and treated you and I don't
understand how you let them away with bullying and manipulating you
so much” I had no answer to give her except that they had been
thru so much with their father and I thought their anger was natural.
She told me “your doing great now and your getting stronger so keep
going” because I did not cry during this session so that must be a
good sign.
Counselling
session.
I
asked what counselling does for a person. I was told, it helps to get
it all out of you. She said she can see my confidence returning. She
said she cannot believe that when eldest was diagnosed with a
disability at age 15 that no one helped me adjust to that news. I
told her I was far too busy screaming for help for him that I never
had the time to adjust to anything never mind be offered help but
what was written down a files in another county looked like I had
been offered the world on a gold plate.
I
sent an email to my youngest for his 24th birthday. I have
been staying off his Twitter account. My email to him bounced back as
not a valid email address. He's had that email account for 12 years
so worry took over. I checked his Twitter “looking online for
carbon monoxide gas” I've printed his words out to take to my
counselling session as the counsellor is HSE funded so she can give
it to the relevant people to get him help.
Counselling
session. I gave her what youngest wrote and my permission to pass it
on to her supervisor so youngest can be helped.
Youngest
posted online an apparent email from his therapist, I was in bits
about it till my friend told me after I had sent it to her that it
looked like a cut and paste job. I never noticed that, all I was
concerned about was this “it seems like you missed out on the
experience of a caring mother that responded to your needs, I imagine
that this neglectful and abandoning behaviour must have been really
hard” I wish to god I could upload my home movies, both my sons
were happy, full of laughter, cheeky, hard work but a pleasure to be
with and I was always with them, I enjoyed their company. It's like a
stab in my heart and my back when I see that kind of utter lies and
crap from him. If he will not be honest he will never get the right
help.
I
dislocated two ribs after having bad coughing spasms. My god the pain
of it was horrendous. Nothing can be done except via a
physiotherapist but at €55 a session I have no chance of affording
that.
Walking
down a spiral staircase at work when I side stepped a huge bumble bee
and fell to the bottom, slapping my left hand hard on the floor at
the bottom. I knew from the shape of my wrist that I'd broken it and
no one was there to help me. It took me a few minutes to shuffle my
ass to grab the bannister and haul myself upright then I screamed
with the pain. I have never known anything like it. No one was in the
building which was unusual but I got my phone and rang 999 to find
out where the nearest hospital was but screamed the place down as I
instinctively tried to hold my phone with my broken wrist hand. An
ambulance turned up and they laughed as I repeatedly said “mammy,
mammy, mammy” even tho I normally curse like a navvy. I was 3 hours
at the hospital. I've broken both bones in my wrist and “also have
a money shot of a floating bone splinter” that they're worried
about. A half plaster cast was put on and my very small fingers
resembled very fat sausages. I didn't know how the fuck I was going
to manage at home on my own with only one hand to use. The only time
I cried was when I couldn't let my poor dog out of the back door when
I got back because you need to hold the handle up before you can turn
the key to unlock the door. I had to go back to the hospital 2 weeks
later and thankfully the splintered bone had not moved so no need for
any operation. Had a full plaster cast put on as the swelling had
gone down. When I got the cast off I had to go for physiotherapy, my
arm did not feel like mine and was so skinny compared to my right
arm. The physio bloke asked me if I'd ever had a dexa scan, I told
him no, he told me I needed one.
Been
talking to the oldest friends I have in the UK since 1982. They have
known my sons since they were born and cannot believe what happened
with them. No one saw it coming and certainly not me.
I've
converted all my home videos into MP4's. One day my sons will get
them and will realise what a happy childhood they did have up till we
moved to Ireland in 2002.
Hospital
for a DEXA scan. I thought it would just be on my wrist but it
wasn't, It was on my spine and my hips. I was given the results
straight away. I have 4 vertebrae that has Osteoporosis and the rest
have Osteopenia. I was told I could already have spine fractures
because I've had awful back pain for years, something goes snap and I
get severe muscle spasms. I asked the man, what do I do now, he said
discuss it with your GP.
I
rang the Osteoporosis help line and spoke to a lovely knowledgeable
woman. She told me what I need to do. Request full 4 page Dexa scan
with images and individual score results from the hospital and send
to their Professor, get a full blood works done then make an
appointment with the professor for all results.
Respiratory
Clinic appointment. My Bronchitis is now 10% better and is now 70%.
Great news but they also did a new lung test on the Alveoli of my
lungs which was only 63% so not enough oxygen is getting into my
lungs. I was told “you could be on oxygen this time next year”
Appointment
with the Osteoporosis Professor. She was lovely. She told me I'm not
absorbing nutrients, that I am celiac and must have a wheat and
gluten free diet from now on. Further X Ray is needed on wrist, she
thinks I have triangular
fibrocartilage complex as I should not still be having any wrist
pain. She said I should not be working “you'll know all about it if
you fracture your spine, you could end up in a wheel chair so no
bending forwards, no lifting, no twisting, no carrying heavy weights”
Need spine x-ray done as Dexa scan was flat and not from the side.
Very low Vitamin D levels, only 40% and should be around 80%, need to
take liquid Vit D for 5 weeks then twice a year injections for life.
I
went to see my GP, he said “it's up to you if you want to stop
working, it's your choice” He did not allay any of my fears at all.
I
did cry when I got home. I do not want to lose my independence. Then
I thought: I came into this world kicking and screaming and I will go
out of it the same way.
Another
GP appointment to get spine x-ray results. My vertebrae have “no
acute fractures but do have narrowing and wedging which is why it
feels like something has snapped before the severe muscle spasms
start”
Walking
home from my evening job and started coughing and my rib went pop
again and I screamed with the pain. Had to walk home taking baby
steps. I am sick of having pain.
Had
to go and see the osteopath, what a miracle worker. He told me it's
the nerves running down my spine causing my ribs and muscles such
terrible pain and that's what has pushed my ribs out. He worked on
the nerves running down my spine and the relief was pure bliss
My
lovely friend invited me to her house for Xmas. I declined telling
her that Xmas is for families. Xmas just makes me sad now so I do not
celebrate it any more plus I no longer have a family.
2018
I
have not seen my two sons for 5 years now. The pain of it doesn't
hurt as bad one day but the next day I can be in tatters and not fit
at all to leave the house. I'm still working at my evening job and
just take heavy duty painkillers when my ribs pop out as they do
often now. Sometimes all you can do is just get on with it and I do
but mentally and emotionally I took the hardest battering and I know
I will never recover from it. No one knows what it's really like to
be me because I do not tell them. I put on my chirpy voice, my
smiling face and the comedienne in me comes to the fore when I
interact with others, which is just my three close girl friends now
and my long standing friend who never failed me.
People
can be told they have a fractured bone but it's actually a break and
that's the magic of vocabulary, people may think a fracture isn't as
serious as a break but it's the same thing. I never once in my life
heard anyone say someone has a fractured heart, it's always called a
broken heart and when you have one you will know all about it. The
pain of any broken bone is nothing in comparison to a broken heart.
When
you are emotionally broken, it's fantastic if you can put yourself
together again or if you can get professional help to do so but it
hasn't worked for me and by god I have tried everything to put myself
back together again. Maybe some people cannot be put back together
again.
It's
not just one thing that breaks a person but all it can take is that
one final thing that can break the camels back.
I
spent many, many years hypothetically looking over my shoulder for
the next explosion, the next fear, the next worry, the next spite,
the next mind game, the next threat of violence, the next actual
violence, the next overdose, the next self harm, the next throwing of
all venom verbally into my face and ears so no wonder my emotional
health is so fragile and in tatters. I can only liken this mad roller
coaster to a washing machine. The wash cycle goes round normally but
then it goes into a spin and you wait and you cope and you hope that
the spin cycle stops so that the normal cycle can start again. That
is my explanation for 23 years of my life with an ex and my two sons, so even strong people can break.
I
am so damaged and irreparable now and I no longer do anything of
importance at all despite my numerous qualifications. It's not that
I'm lazy and do not want to, it's because I am fearful of anything
and everything but you wouldn't know it to look at me. I still have a
big mouth. I would still go out of my way to protect what is termed
as “the underdog” I am still kind to people who are homeless or
begging, I am still a muppet or a mug when it comes to a sob story
but these are people on the periphery and not in my immediate sphere.
It's my immediate sphere that I protect and let no one in to and
never will. I have been without an intimate relationship now for 13
years. I rejected male attention firstly because of my sons and their
needs and now I reject male attention because of my sons and their
awful treatment of me. I am destined to be alone because I never,
ever want to be hurt or feel fear ever again. I am in constant fight
or flight mode, there is no in between. The work I do is stress free
and gives me a goal to leave the house but apart from that and to get
food shopping I do not leave the house at all. What should have been
my sanctuary since I first moved here in 2010 became my prison now
it's my self made prison. How warped is that and all my own fault but
I do not know how to get out of this mess. It was man made now it's
woman made (me)
So
what has been the point of writing all of this and by God it has
taken me years, they are journals after all written year by year.
Firstly it is a TRUE record of all those years followed by my
thoughts and feelings of the TRUE facts. Secondly to show that strong
people who are assertive and strong can still be ripe for abuse be it
by a spouse, your children, so called professionals, the court
system, by anyone. You just need to recognise it and take steps to
get out before it affects your total health.
Why
do absent parents get away with so much, how can they live with
themselves when I could not live with myself and I did everything in
my power to keep us together until I could do no more.
If
I had an epitaph I think it would say “shy but acts confident, is kind
and generous, loves people, very talkative, chatty and friendly to
everyone, a fighter, laughs hard and loud, saw humour in most things,
a decent run of the mill person who loved and grabbed life by the
balls, singing and dancing along the way”
I
realise now that there was nothing strong about me at all, I just
became combative whenever I was promised supports and services or was
lied to or lied about.
I
will never know if Dr Shah's report and immediate recommendations
were implemented if our lives would have been different at all. But I
do know if my eldest had, had his own space with me near him in
separate living quarters, I would not have had the total emotional
breakdown I did have and my youngest would have had a relaxed and
more stable home environment but I shall never know because the
powers that be did nothing about it.
There
must be something flawed in me that I cannot move on from all that
happened but by god I did try.
I
failed my children. They also failed me.
I
never got any answer from Gheel or the HSE or any other agency re all
my questions about the Family Support Plan, not even thru my Freedom
of Information requests posted to the HSE.
I
have been on DCC housing exchange list for 5 years now. My GP and
Cross care sent letters to them explaining my, by now, self isolation
and I had visits with their housing officer but still I am here. I
never go out now except to my part time job and once a week for
shopping. I cannot do my volunteering any more because my physical
health is shot to pieces.
My
emotional health is kind of fine when I'm out of the house but even just
travelling to work, my thoughts alone can set me off and silent tears fall
still. So I feel pretty useless most of the time.
Some
parts of these journals are not pretty to read. I see all my faults
in them, I didn't realise that most of the time I was just a basket case since 2005 or perhaps beforehand with all that ex crazy fuckers shenanigans thru out the marriage so I was falling apart at the seams, just grateful to have got thru another crisis, dusting myself down and getting on with things the best way I knew how to and I hold my hands up to that because I'm
no saint but the HSE and Gheel are sinners having left my family to
destruct whilst they sat back and did jack shit.
It's
just as well none of us has a crystal ball to see into the future. I
would never have believed my life would pan out like this.
I
do not know in this month of September 2018 if my two sons are alive
or dead.
My
boys (men) have been gone 18 months now and it's still a real
physical pain in my heart. The menopause combined with Empty Nest
Syndrome combined with utter fucking carnage has devastated me. I
never knew before how the human body and the mind could flow like a
tide with overwhelming emotions of pain, hurt, sadness, anger, fury
and dejection in mere minutes but never acceptance. Not in my case
yet anyway. I'm probably writing bollix but it's all I can do to get
this internally shit, pain and anguish out of me.
Back
in work. Back in counselling. Back with the external mask on which is
easy to do when your mixing with the human race and your mind is
taken off things for a few hours. I'm also in college. I always loved
further education.
20th
February Email to my friend
“Hi,
I'm going slightly mad, I was
convinced I'd already sent you an email. I had a missed call on the
18th from the man at Cross care, his voicemail said Darragh of Gheel
had contacted him to get hold of two letters from the bank in eldests
name and he wanted someone to collect them from my address. I was not
happy and that is an understatement. When I got home there was
indeed bank letters for eldest (a pin number and a new cash card by
the feel of them) and an email from the man at Cross care as "Gheel
do not want to cause you any expense" I hit the roof at this
stage and emailed the Cross care man that no one from Gheel had
better turn up at my door and I would re direct the letters to Gheel
but then I felt sorry that eldest would be sitting with no money if
he didn't have a cash card so I posted them for next day delivery and
requested a signature, it cost me €8 and was received by Gheels
office at 9.30am this morning but not a squeak of thanks did I get
from eldest”
1st
March
Call
from the Garda “just checking how you are and if you're getting
peace from that woman” Answer was yes. Thank God
26th
March My Furious email to Gheel CEO Peter Byrne:
“I
am informing you that a Social Justice journalist is reading my
diaries and hopefully they will disclose and prove what a shower of
corrupt (come up with a Family Support Plan and charge the HSE for
this but provided nothing to my family from 2009 to 2013) bastards
you really are. I am waiting for the go ahead to provide all audio
recordings of yourself, Brid in your Kildare office, Darragh Byrne,
Edel, Andy McDonnell, Michael McCreadie, Sheila Marshall, Geraldine
Murphy, Mary McNutt, Travis, Patrick, and all others you employ and
talk to as so called Autism Professionals that were in my house and
rang me under the guise of "support" that gave not a crap
for me and my family yet you got paid a percentage of the 6 million
per annum you receive from the HSE. What percentage I do not know as
yet, as you will not disclose anything despite being asked by
numerous TD's. You answered not ONE question. You replied to not
one email of my begging you for help and supports for my sons yet you
got paid large bucks for Jack. You will be made to answer eventually
by hook or by crook. I do not know how you sleep at night. I am no
longer an emotional mother begging for help, support and advice for
my two sons with Aspergers Syndrome which did not materialise. You
simply ignored everything. I am a taxpayer. I am a mother who lost
her sons thanks to you. I will leave this to the journalist to
decide. You will not evade questions and answers for much longer. You
will answer to all your wrongdoings so no other family suffers what
you left me and mine to suffer. You are a disgrace as are those you
meet each Tuesday. You all mistook me for a fool, a foreigner, who
would hopefully go away if you all ignored her long enough. You do
not know me well enough to know that will never happen. I hope to see
you all in court to prove what you really are”
No
reply from that twat
14th
April
Counselling
Session: I was given a Ruby Wax book to read “Sane New World” The
counsellor said “you have come a long way since I first saw you
when you were in the depths of hell. I can see your loving heart, it
surrounds you, it's obvious to all. You're a warrior but it's time to
give Anne the same amount of fight you did for your sons”
20th
April
Counselling
Session: “work at being kinder to yourself. No more blaming
yourself or negative thoughts”
24th
April
Had
to stand and give a speech for a work thing. Mrs Confident in
external mode was back in town, Mrs Timid internally had me squirming
and shaking with my knees knocking. It was filmed. I was mortified. I
now know why politicians etc wring their hand when all are looking at
them. I did exactly the same thing. At least I wasn't wringing necks,
not yet anyway.
27th
April
Thoughts:
Professional lack of care, supports and services left my sons to get
much worse which impacted on me and left me in a worse vulnerable
position at the hands of abusive, sometimes violent and destructive
men. Yet the professionals (Gheel) were being paid big bucks (by the
HSE) to provide “family support” which did not materialise. Why
not?
4th
May - Email to a friend
“Hi,
I am good, thank you for your email. I have not had as much as an
acknowledgement from Dil (the Social Justice Journalist) or anyone
else. I will do my own replies to all and sundry as I've given myself
a time frame of the end of May to do so. One of my friends lent me a
VCR player so I've been watching all my home movies of my boys. I
thought it would have been sad to watch but I had a smile on my face
all the way thru. It just made me realise more what a good and fun
mum I was although sometimes impatient (“hurry up and open your
presents at Xmas” because they both had so many) Today I packed up
all their belongings that they did not take with them. I've written
their names and PPS numbers on them and marked them care of Gheel for
the day I can afford a taxi to get them to Gheel. That's another big
step for me”
9th
May
Toxic
Troll emailed me twice “HELP ANNE”
15th
May
Another
two emails from the Toxic Troll
1st
June Email to my friend:
“Hi,
Sorry about Friday, I'm on holiday this week and been so busy getting
assignments done for college. I had to visit 3 shops in town and take
note of all their fixtures, fittings and signage then write a report
on them. Only problem was the first shop I went into was Clerys and
I’ve never been there before. I was writing away for my assignment
when security came up to me and told me I needed clearance from
Customer Services, so off I went to them and 3 calls made by them
brought the manager to me who walked me out of the bloody shop
because “your causing ruction for our staff, Clerys has been sold
and all they are seeing is you walking around taking notes and they
are worried about their jobs being on the line” He was nice and
friendly enough but I felt like a bloody criminal with the manager of
the store and security guards walking me out so I made him shake my
hand before I walked out of the shop. I was mortified. Soon as I
left I slipped on dog poo and almost did the splits, god the shame
and the agony I was in but I had enough notes to write a report. I've
decided I'm not writing anything to the Ombudsman except letting them
know how useless I think they are. I am tho going to take Tony
O'Brien the HSE CEO apart by letter and putting in a formal complaint
to the Freedom of Info people as they broke the law by giving me Jack
re records that should have been on file. Youngest is still in cyber
hiding and in 2 months eldest will be gone for 2 years and apart from
that crap letter I got from Darragh Byrne not a word regards his
health and well being have I heard which is a bloody disgrace. I
have my last closing appointment with Pieta House tomorrow. The
weather is awful today, I hope it's better down your end and that all
is okay with you”
17th
June
DIT
college graduation night with the girls.
26th
June
Letter
for son, re posted to him via Gheel.
31st
July
I
badly hurt my back. It's my own fault as I was trying to do the Dirty
Dancing jump routine with my work colleague. I did get the lift
correct and landed on my target but my colleague wasn't expecting me
to do that to him and we both fell backwards in slow motion. He was
fine but I'm now walking like John Wayne's surrogate child.
17th
August
New
evening job, start tonight.
27th
August
Email
from my eldest that I didn't get it till 7pm because I was working
all day.
“If
this is still your email address I need
help.
I need to go to the police regards Peter Byrne, Darragh Byrne and
several other people from Gheel. They're responsible for carer abuse
and withheld my prescription (twice in the space of a week), forcing
me to go through benzodiazepine withdrawal like in 2009. The Dr
refused to help and told me to go and talk to Peter Byrne. My
relationship with Gheel is now essentially one between a junkie and a
dealer. I cannot live like this anymore and I plan to kill myself if
I'm forced to live under their authority”
27th
August at 7pm-
My
email reply to my son
“Ring
me now, I have no credit. If you have money get a taxi to your old
address and do it now. Just noticed you sent 7 hours ago, I have just
got in from working. Get in touch with me immediately”
27th
August at 7.28pm
Email
from my son
“I'm
working on an email draft I want to send you regarding Gheel
withholding my prescription and forcing me to go through
benzodiazepine withdrawal (it's one of two types of withdrawal that
can kill you, the other being alcohol.) I'm telling you this now as
I've told Barry (outreach team member) about it today and I don't
want them contacting you first.
I
went to my GP last Monday to tell him everything but he refused to
read what I'd written down or get involved, even after reminding him
that I'm his patient and it's his job to be concerned about my
health. I had to write it down because I'd been awake for 2 days from
the withdrawal.
Barry
acknowledged today that Gheel had broken the law in doing what they
did and didn't dispute my use of the term Carer Abuse (he actually
affirmed it, but was very apologetic.) He just got back from holiday
so this has nothing to do with him; it's Darragh Byrne and his father
Peter Byrne that belong in a cell. I went to my doctor because I
thought letting someone outside Gheel know what's happening would
help; he wanted no part, I'm hoping you won't be the same.
I
told Barry I was going to write an email asking you to phone the
police; but I don't think it needs to come to that (as much as I'd
like to see Peter and Darragh Byrne in a cell.) He said he'd be in
touch with Darragh about 'my concerns' and I said that none of this
would be necessary if they hadn't restricted access to my medication;
he agreed but made it clear he was just a functionary and described
himself as a 'messenger.'
I'm
mentally ill so if I call the Guards on my own I don't think anyone
will believe me; I'm easy for Gheel (and the police) to dismiss even
though I have a diary on my pc going back to 2009 and I have text
messages that prove everything I say.
The
reason I went to my GP is because he's a figure of authority but just
he wasn't interested and said it was between me and Peter Byrne /
Darragh Byrne.
No
amount of proof I have matters if no-one outside of Gheel even cares.
If
you have the time here's what I had written down for the doctor, he
wouldn't even look at my phone: 1. I've met
Professor Fitzgerald twice at Gheel's office and, as I've always
understood it, he writes down a suggestion of what I want prescribed
which is then brought to you to write the actual prescription. I
usually have my meds dropped off on Mondays and Thursdays but I
briefly switched to Monday, Wednesday and Friday earlier this year.
When I changed back I started going through withdrawal due to the
Xanax (I know it was the xanax as I had no withdrawal symptoms when I
switched to Mondays and Thursdays while getting clonazepam every
other day back in 2013, when I was prescribed it.) I asked Gheel
to tell Professor Fitzgerald that I wanted the Xanax removed entirely
and my Lyrica dose increased from 75mg (twice daily) to 100mg (twice
daily) but all he did was add extra 25mg Lyrica capsules to my
current prescription. Lyrica already comes in 100mg capsules so this
was redundant and just leaves me with a desk full of a large number
of packets containing meds that I need to sort into separate pill
bottles. On top of that, Gheel have to slice open the packets and
remove the Xanax for me. They sometimes fail to do that, so I need to
leave them in a separate pill bottle by my desk. It's very
frustrating and I'd like to get my prescriptions directly through you
from now on instead of having to deal with Fitzgerald ever again.My
meds are dropped off by Gheel on Mondays and Thursdays, as per my
request. Three days worth on Mondays and the following four days
worth on Thursdays.
I
went to a concert on Wednesday the 12th. This was the seventh gig
I've been to since my first one in May of last year and I always take
10x2mg clonazepam before each one as clubs are an extremely cramped,
loud and stressful environment (my brother refuses to attend shows
even while sedated.) Earlier that day I didn't have enough clonazepam
to get me through the gig as I'd been struggling to sleep for 2
nights prior and had to take some clonazepam (that I'd been saving
for the show) to help me sleep. I asked for three quarters of
Thursday's meds to be dropped off that day (I'm supposed to be
getting everything
at
the start of the week, anyway, so I didn't see a problem.) I was told
that a nurse who works for Gheel declined to give me my medication. I
didn't know Gheel even had a nurse but I replied by reminding them
that it wasn't her decision to make, as the only people with any
authority to make decisions about my prescription were my GP
(i.e.
what to prescribe and at what dose) and myself
(i.e.
when to take them.) In response, I was told that Peter Byrne (the
CEO of Gheel) had decided I would be allowed HALF
of
my prescription. At this point I was furious as this was someone who
definitely
had
no right dictating anything about my prescription and I told them I
was going to take the clonazepam I still had left and call the
Guards.
This
made them panic and they dropped off three quarters of my
prescription (as I asked originally) and I went to see the band play
and loved it. On the 14th (Friday evening) I was told that I wouldn't
receive the last quarter of that week's meds until Monday the 17th.
Is
this legal? It
can't be.
The
packets containing my prescription literally have my name on them and
I only have them dropped off on Mondays and Thursdays because I've
asked
Gheel
to. Their job is to facilitate
access
to my medication, not restrict
it.
It's not like I'm in a hospital and these people are the medical
staff; only one person I've met from Gheel had medical experience and
she left two years ago. By delaying my access to my own prescription
they leave me wide open to benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome; people
I have never met should not be able to make decisions about my health
on a whim like this.
Can
you intervene to stop them from doing anything like this again? I
want it made clear to Peter Byrne that this absolutely cannot happen
again as he does not have the authority to dictate to me when I can
take my own prescription. I don't even know what the man looks like
and to the best of my knowledge he isn't a Doctor.
Dr
**** did drop the Xanax from my prescription and fix the Lyrica
nonsense but that's irrelevant compared to the 2nd point I made.
Richard from Gheel was sitting in the room with me at this
appointment so Darragh ended up hearing about it and panicked (they
don't like it when you go outside Gheel like I did in visiting my
GP.) Darragh texted me on the 21st saying I now had an 'extra
prescription' from Prof Fitzgerald that I can take whenever I need
it. This is just unhinged. I didn't (and don't) need an extra
prescription I just need the one I have.
I
spoke to Barry for around 40 minutes today (including reading the
last two paragraphs of part 2 out to him) and he conceded very
quickly that what Gheel did was illegal but only reluctantly nodded
his head when I described it as carer abuse (because that might
implicate him, and he was on annual leave/holiday the whole time.)
I didn't want the GP to phone the police, even though I walked into
his office making it clear that I'd been awake for 2 days due to
withdrawal. I just wanted him to call up Peter Byrne and make it
clear that he can't take my health into his hands ever again as my
medication is the business of my GP. He refused. He said Prof
Fitzgerald was a specialist and thus overruled him. He admitted he
could technically ignore that and intervene anyway but what he
implied was that he'd be sticking his neck out and wasn't willing to
do that so I'd have to go to Peter Byrne (who I was and still am
fucking furious at) to ask
him
not to mess around with my medication in future.
I
cannot live like this any more. It's inhumane and illegal and they
know it. No explanation this time, just refusals, but the first time
they were ever withheld was on October the 30th last year not long
after a gig. I asked for Monday's dose to be dropped off early and a
new girl called Fiona texted back saying she'd consult Darragh. I was
angry as this was the very first time they'd ever hesitated. I'd
asked christ-knows how many times before and I'd always get a reply
in no more than an hour saying 'so-and-so will drop them off around
3:30pm' or whenever. Once she'd finished consulting with Darragh she
told me he said that I needed a break and I went ballistic at her,
calling Gheel fucking useless. I completely shot the messenger then
and should have dealt with Darragh. They had never done this
previously but I think I only bothered asking for meds early once
more after that (at the start of Summer this year, when I thought I
had an abscess and asked for a doctors appointment but cancelled it
as Barry only offered me 1x2mg clonazepam. The abscess turned out to
be a false alarm, thankfully.)
As
for concerns I might overdose, as I told Barry this afternoon: that
won't last a second in front of the police. Gheel drop off 3 days
worth of meds on Mondays and the rest of the week on Thursdays. It'd
be absurd for them to suggest I'd be a danger to myself in getting 3
days worth of my remaining prescription one
day early (which
is what they spent the day of the gig putting a fight up about) when
they knew I was going to get all 4 days worth the very next day (as
is the case every single week.) This
isn't about my safety;
if it was they wouldn't have withheld that final Sunday's worth of
meds until the following day (sending me straight into withdrawal.)
It's
about Peter Byrne and his son Darragh having control.
My brother has made it pretty clear he thinks I'm in the wrong and
actually said (via text) that I'm being just like mum by "picking
a battle where there isn't one." For
fuck sake. Even
Barry said earlier that, putting the professional relationship aside,
he was very sorry about what was I was going through. Even Richard
said when he drove me back home last week that he was sorry to for
'being a part of this' but I ignored him as I was shocked and
gradually getting angrier. Barry and I have spoken several times
about benzo withdrawal (I went through it cold turkey for 5 days in
October 2009 and gave him a description. He was pretty interested as
there are some authors from the 1950s he likes that wrote about their
experiences with it”
27th
August at 7.35
My
reply to my son
“Okay,
I'll ring the Garda and ask them what you should do. Then I will
forward you the Advocacy number and email addy as you have the right
to your own medication and are not being listened to. I'll let you
know what the Garda say”
27th
August at 7.50pm
My
reply to my son
“Garda
K is going to ring them. He might also ring you. I just said Peter
Byrne is just a bloke with no medical qualifications who is illegally
with-holding my son's medication”
27th
August at 7.51
My
reply to my son
“How
to contact the National Advocacy Service for People with Disabilities
National
Helpline: 0761 07 3000 10am to 4pm. Email:info@advocacy.ie”
27th
August at 8:10pm
My
reply to my son
“Garda
K just rang me, he said, "spoke to your son there who
explained the situation, have rang Gheel, spoke to Pearl and Darragh
who is the Manager of the Outreach Team, they have assured me they
will address the issue tomorrow and they said they had delivered your
son 3 days meds today, I told them your son wants his meds delivered
on Mondays only" he was again told they “will get the issue
addressed tomorrow" Garda K said "if you have any more
problems with this then just to contact me again” Is that okay
for you for now!
27th
August at 8.14pm
Email
from my son
“Gheel
keep trying to get me to come in and 'discuss' this with them. I am
not going to negotiate with them over what is already mine, which is
what I think they mean by this being 'addressed tomorrow.' Tomorrow,
when I have that 4th day worth of meds dropped off I'm going to have
to answer to them again, acknowledging that they have authority over
me yet again. I cannot fucking live like this”
27th
August at 8.18pm
My
reply to my son
“Reply
this to them: "There is nothing to discuss and I do NOT wish to
meet with anyone. I am on medication for my health which you all know
and you have had no problems facilitating delivery of them prior to
recently. I am an adult, the prescription is in my name only and all
you have to do is deliver them to me. I will be contacting a
Disability Advocate first thing in the morning. Please do not
continue to heighten my anxiety levels with any offer of meetings
etc. I have asked that my medication is delivered to me on Mondays
as prescribed for me and not as decided by any staff at Gheel. Thank
you"
27th
August at 8.22pm
Email
from my son
“Had
a text from Pearl via the Outreach number saying that she'd been told
I wanted my meds delivered once a week on a Monday and that she'd
pass this on to Darragh first thing in the morning. This was sent at
8:10pm, just as you sent me the email saying that you'd be told by
the Garda that he'd already spoken to Darragh”
27th
August at 8.25pm
My
reply to my son
“Tell
her that Garda K rang your Mother and he told her he spoke to Pearl
and to Darragh Byrne this evening and was given assurance that the
"issue about meds" would be addressed tomorrow and they
were told by the Garda that you wanted them delivered on Monday's
only. Darragh does not have to be told tomorrow as he was spoken to
already by Garda K”
27th
August at 8:39 pm
My
email to my son
“Do
you want me to email Peter Byrne, Darragh Byrne and cc it to HSE
Disability Manager (they meet with her every Tuesday for funding but
I know she'll be on phone to them right away. Tomorrow is Friday so I
do not want them pressuring you when all officials are off work for
the weekend”
27th
August at 8.41pm
Email
from my son
“Sure,
that sounds fine. I'm clocking off for tonight, though. I was lying
in bed trying to fall asleep when you replied to my email but now I'm
exhausted and have a fucking headache. Not looking forward to
tomorrow”
27th
August at 8.46pm
My
reply to my son
“Ok.
Do you want me to send your email as a record of what has actually
happened. I'm going to bed soon myself. If you do not want to engage
with them, tell them by text to leave your meds where they normally
leave them. I am not working till 4pm tomorrow so if you want me to
contact the doctor and get the chemist to deliver your meds directly
to you, let me know, I can get them to ring you and arrange that. Can
I also on your behalf contact a man at Cross care who is an
independent Advocate who already has Darragh Byrne's telephone
number. I won't till you say it's ok.
27th
August at 8.48pm
Email
from my son
“That's
a lot to think about. Ask me again tomorrow”
“My son contacted
me by email and telephone as Peter Byrne, his son Darragh Byrne, his
staff and nurse have been withholding and/or delaying HIS prescribed
medication that he needs for his health, otherwise they would not be
prescribed for him. I am informing you that this is an illegal
practice and not one of you is a qualified physician so you are in
abuse of power which is a crime as per the law of this country.
My
son has a detailed and catalogued timeline of what I, his Mother
perceives as an abuse of power which will be provided when he gives
me consent to do so.
I
contacted the Garda tonight and spoke to Garda K in ****** who told
me at 8.01 pm that he had spoken to Pearl and Darragh Byrne, Manager
of Gheels outreach Team, he told them he had spoken to my son
personally who wanted his medication delivered on Monday's only, this
Garda was told that the issue would be addressed tomorrow. My son was
then contacted by an Outreach staff member called Pearl who stated
that she would pass this on to Darragh first thing in the morning, a
complete contradiction of what Garda K had told me.
My
son is your client and your client has requested that his prescribed
medication is delivered to him on Monday's and not withheld, delayed
or used as an abuse of power to force him to engage with you when he
has clearly told you he has no wish to do so. Do not use tomorrow,
Friday, as a means to force him into any meeting he does not wish to
attend just because all other professionals will be going home early
for the weekend. He has informed you he wants his prescribed
medication delivered on a Monday, be kind enough to adhere to HIS
needs. I will be engaging, with the consent of my son, an external
Advocate and a solicitor so that my son's Human and Legal Rights are
no longer abused in any way”
27th
August at 9.27pm-
Your message to Darragh Byrne was automatically rejected
28th
August at 8.35am
Email
from my son
“Email
I got from Barry last
night at
9:49pm:
“Hi,
I dropped meds outside door this morn - did you get those?”There's
no end to these bastards. As for forwarding the email I sent you, I
don't want it sent to Darragh or Peter Byrne but I've already said I
don't mind it being sent to authorities, including people like the
HSE Disability Manager you mentioned. As for contacting the doctor
don't bother unless you plan on having a Garda there with you while
you demand to know why he had no interest in intervening with Gheel
on my behalf and tell him I've now had to involve the law. Contact
the man at Cross care for me, please. I am sick of dealing with Gheel
and would rather go through someone else”
28th
August at 8.36am
My
reply to my son
“I
won't do anything about the doctor, the advocate at Cross care etc
until you give your consent. On a side note, if you are paying rent
out of your own pocket for the place you are living in then you are a
tenant and have legal rights, no one has the right to enter that
place without your permission and if Gheel have a key and threaten to
enter without your permission then simply get the locks changed. You
must have signed a contract, find it and read it or research online.
You need full knowledge of all your rights”
28th
August at 8.42am
Email
from my son
“I
didn't sign anything. They pay my rent and my bills and my disability
covers my groceries. When the papers asking for renewal of tenancy
(or words to that effect) arrived in the post one day I had to have
them passed onto Darragh. As for the email bouncing back, don't
expect a response. You can try sending it to Barry (Outreach team
member) and Kate (my Key Worker, who I cannot stand) Barry is the one
most likely to respond as he actually gave me his Gmail address so
he'll receive a notification on his phone once it's in his inbox”
28th
August at 8.44am
My
reply to my son
“I
will email the GP this morning, I have his private email addy so that
there is a clear record of what he failed to do for you as his
patient. I will not send him your email but I will take some points
from it and put in my own words. I will email the advocate before
9am, can I also send him your phone number in case he wants to speak
to you, he may want all facts directly from you but I will send him
your email so he knows what the picture is. I will send your email
to infoline.ie which
is the HSE email and mark it for the attention of the Disability
Manager and her boss Sheila Marshal, neither of them will reply but I
will cc it to CEO of the HSE Tony O'Brien. First stop will be the
advocate tho”
28th
August at 8.48am
Email
from my son
“I
don't care if the doctor has my email. Time to jump in the shower
now, though. Let me know if anything changes”
28th
August at 8.49am
My
email to my son
“The
over €6 million a year that the HSE pay Gheel from tax payers money
pays for it then, not Gheel, it does not mean that they can do what
they like re meds etc to make you compliant to how they want you to
be. I will send those two the same email I sent last night. Them
knowing the advocate is involved will make them back off. I'll get
those emails done now”
28th
August at 9.10am
My
email to the Advocate
“Dear
N, I hope this finds you well. My son is in need of some advocacy
help outside of Gheel Autism Services and I hoped that you could be
this person as you helped him get accommodation. He has given me
consent to send you the two emails he sent me yesterday. If you need
to speak to him directly his telephone number is **********”
28th
August at 9.35am
Email
from Infoline1@hse.ie
“Good
Morning Anne, Thanks for your email. Gheel Services receive funding
from the HSE. If you wish make a complaint through the HSE re Gheel
Services, please email HSE Consumer Services yoursay@hse.ie
If you wish I can forward on the email to HSE Consumer Affairs on
your behalf. Regards”
28th
August at 9.41am
My
email reply to infoline1@hse.ie
“Hi,
Many thanks for your reply. Unfortunately I have made numerous
complaints about Gheel Autism Services to no avail. However I would
like my original email sent last night forwarded to Geraldine Murphy
and Sheila Marshal both situated in Dublin 5 and Tony O'Brien CEO
too if you could. Have a lovely weekend”
28th
August at 9.56am
Reply
email from the Advoacte
“Dear
Anne, These are serious issues raised in your email. Rest
assured I am looking at how to proceed most effectively. Can you give
me eldests date of birth ? Take care and hope things are otherwise
o.k. with you. Best
regards”
I
forwarded the advocates email to my son
28th
August at 10.01am
Email
reply from my son
“Great
news. Tell him anything and everything. Same applies to anyone else
you think who might be able to help. Stop asking for my consent. I
said I wanted to see Peter and Darragh Byrne in handcuffs over this
but Garda K said it wasn't a legal matter but one of medical
malpractice, which I'd have thought only applies to Doctors. If all I
can get is a HSE investigation of Gheel then I'll be happy with that”
28th
August at 10:10am
My
reply to my son
“Don't
hold your breath waiting for that to happen, they are slippery as eels. The advocate will have to contact Gheel so expect a few calls
and texts from them now in self protection mode. A lot of people now
know. Had reply from HSE asking if I wanted last nights email sent to
their Consumer affairs, I said I want it sent to Geraldine Murphy
Disability Manager, Sheila Marshall and Tony O'Brien CEO of HSE. Just
a thought before I write to the doctor, if I send the above people
your original email then they will by law have to send it to Gheel
for their right to reply, it's the law”
28th
August at 10.16am
Email
from my son
“The
original email focuses on the withdrawal they put me through but I
want it made clear, again and again that this was a 'symptom of the
disease/problem' with Gheel. They've tried several times via text to
say how they're sorry that this happened and wouldn't intentionally
hurt me and it won't happen again. All language that fits with my
point about this being a relationship between a junkie and his
dealer. I want the junkie/dealer point to be the centre of my
complaint. I want the fact that they are exerting authority they
don't have to be the centre of my complaint. Don't let them reframe
this as a one-off mistake (as it happened before on the 30th of
October last year, with Darragh making the decision rather than Peter
Byrne”
28th
August at 10.28am
My
email to my son
“I
think if the advocate said your "email raised some serious
issues" then he will definitely get it all dealt with and he
won't rest till he does. But it won't all be sorted in one day,
Friday's are dreadful to get hold of anyone. Have you enough meds to
keep you going till Monday?
28th
August at 10.53am
Email
from my son
“Spoke
to the advocate on the phone and he asked for my address, said he'd
draft a consent form for me and make a complaint on my behalf about
abuse of a vulnerable person. TSB
keep sending me messages about fucking contactless cards. I need to
use an ATM to activate them but I never carry cash when I go out. I
haven't in over a year. I don't go to the shops, I get Tesco
deliveries to my door and have to time my meds so that I'm sedated at
the time of the delivery”
28th
August at 10.55am
Email
from my son
“I've
taken all of the Lyrica that was dropped of yesterday this morning. I
can feel it kicking in now (takes three hours.) They withheld one day
of my prescription and said they'd drop it off today (barry wrote
this on the brown envelope he left me with.) I have 2x2mg clonazepam
and should be getting another 2x2mg today. I'll be getting more on
Monday”
28th
August at 11.03am
Email
from my son “Email
from advocate just now:
“Thanks.
As discussed I will be preparing a formal complaint to the HSE given
the contents of our telephone conversation this morning. All the
best”
28th
August at 10:58am
My
reply to my son
“I
knew he would be the right person to get things done. I am working
tonight and I am working all day tomorrow, I don't get back till
around 7pm but if you want anything just send me a text. I'm working
on the doctors email now”
28th
August at 11.10am
Email
from my son
“Email
from Kate, my Key Worker, who I despise and have no plans to reply
to: “Hey,
I am kind of confused, I opened an email this morning to an email
from your Mum. I don't have any clue what's going on. Do you want to
catch me up? Cause now I am based up in ********** in a different
part of Gheel, not in Fairview anymore. So I am completely out of the
loop. You Ok? Kate”
28th
August at 11:16am
My
reply to my son
“They
will all be jumping thru hoops now as a lot of people outside of
Gheel now know what they are doing with your meds. She cannot be your
key worker any more if she has been transferred elsewhere. Just had a
thought, Peter Byrne will do a round up of his troops re my email to
him last night, if Darragh Byrne threatens to enter your place
because you will not engage with him, get straight on your phone to
the advocate or text Darragh that he "can contact the advocate
who is now working on your behalf" The only reason they can
enter your place is if there is an emergency, they need your
permission at all times outside of this”
28th
August at 11.19am
Email
from my son
“I
can bolt the latch on the door”
28th
August at 11.24am
Email
from my son
“I
should mention that advocate insisted that Jeel (how he pronounced
Gheel) were probably looking out for my health while I insisted they
were playing mind games about control. No-one will believe me on that
but he suddenly changed his tune at the end of the phone call and
said he'd make a complaint and get involved. You could tell there
really sudden change in his tone of voice. I don't understand that
since he didn't believe me at first. Was he just deciding to do his
job?”
28th
August at 11.33am
Email
from my son
“If
anyone breaks into my home I have the right to restrain them until
they're arrested for trespassing. I'm not pushing for violence. I
can't even leave the house so it's not like I'm looking for a fight,
but I have the right to defend myself. They may get aggressive,
as I think they're obviously in panic stations over the fact
that there might be consequences for their abuse of power (as a
result of me going outside Gheel”
28th
August at 11:33am
My
reply email to my son
“The
advocate is a consummate professional. He is very thorough and
listens to both sides before he will make any comment or judgement.
He does this work all the time so he knows the shenanigans that go on
and you are now his client so his loyalty will be with you but he has
to contact Gheel and get their version of events which you will know
by now they are highly trained in (do and say anything to protect
themselves) Advocate is a straight talker, does not deal in any
sentiment, only facts and if he decides that Gheel are doing the
right thing for you (when they clearly are not) then he will tell you
so BUT he will still work for you, not for them, he will have to put
your complaint to them in writing and they will stall him but he will
get answers and if you are not happy with that then he will keep
going till he gets them or gets changes from them re your meds and
anything else”
28th
August at 11.37am
Email
from my son
“He
said since his organisation doesn't have an outreach branch he can't
just come to my home to get me to sign the consent form, it's not
like I can go out to meet him like he asked me to, as he says he's
based in the city centre. He said he'd work something out for me”
I
sent my son a draft of the email I want to send to our GP over his
failure to help my son. My son replied “that's fine”
Email
I sent to my GP at 12.36pm
Dear
Dr ****, my son contacted me yesterday about his appointment with
you so that someone outside of Gheel Autism Services would know what
is going on with him and he feels utterly let down by you.
Peter
Byrne the CEO of Gheel Autism Services does not have any medical
qualification, he is not a doctor, he is not a psychologist and he is
not a psychiatrist. He has nothing to do with my son's medical needs
at all, you however do, as you are his GP and have been since 2009.
The
reason my son went to you is and I quote
“I
went to my GP is because he's a figure of authority but just he
wasn't interested and said it was between me and Peter Byrne/Darragh
Byrne,here's what I had written down for Dr, he wouldn't even look at
my phone” (Edited to cut out
long email from my son's original email about going to the GP)
As
you are his GP and he is your patient, no outside agency can decide
when and if he gets what he medically needs, he is an adult, he has
high functioning Autism, not brain damage and it is illegal for an
“Agency” to be pulling stunts like this and the Garda have been
informed by me and they contacted Gheel last night. My son now has an
advocate outside of Gheel who is putting a formal complaint about the
Autism Agency support staff's abuse of power to ensure this never
happens again. Gheel are, in my view, using my son's medication as a
way of manipulating him because he has told them he wants nothing
more to do with them. Please ensure that you treat my son the same
way you treat every other patient, Gheel care support workers are not
your patient and as my son stated above he has only ever seen
Professor Fitzgerald twice in his life. Yours sincerely”
28th
August at 12:41pm
My
Email to my son
“That's
been sent to the Dr, he will probably ring me. Sent
a text to Gheel outreach number asking for your meds to be dropped
off”
28th
August at 12.42
Email
from my son
“I
hope you're right”
28th
August at 13.09pm
Email
from my son
“Not
contacting them at all. I want nothing to do with them. If they want
to withhold my meds again then that's on them”
28th
August at 13.18pm
Email
from my son
“Advocate
has sent a report to the National Director for Social Care at the
Health Services Executive. It's somewhat detailed and pretty good (he
sent me a copy”
28th
August at 13.21pm
Email
from my son
“Barry
left a large brown envelope outside my door with
'Hi,
Fri/Sat/Sun inside. Mondays arrives tomorrow, will drop them up then.
Barry.' There's no sign of meds today. He left them
outside around 11:15am. The night shift ends around 10:30am and all
the day shift staff come in at that time. They're obviously in a
meeting planning something regarding this last day of meds they're
withholding”
28th
August at 1:18pm
My
email to my son
“I
am a bit confused now. Did they not deliver them on Thursday, today
is Friday. I need to be clear as I am letting the advocate know”
28th
August at 1.22pm
My
email to my son
“So
they owe you one day of meds only”
28th
August at 1.24pm
Email
from my son
“Yes.
I don't know why they withheld it but, I know I'm probably going to
sound paranoid here, but I think they plan to have Darragh or someone
drop it off and demand to meet me in person to discuss this”
My
email reply to my son
“You
are within your rights to politely decline any such meetings. You can
let them know that from now on they can liaise with N who is your
Advocacy Officer. As long as you tell them something they will leave
you in peace. When you just withdraw, especially now after the emails
that have been sent then they will want to know about your well being
for "their records"
28th
August at 1.25pm
My
email to my son
“I
wont email the advocate then if you have now received them and will
be given Mondays tomorrow (Saturday)”
28th
August at 1.27pm
Email
from my son
“What
the fuck are you talking about? I got that envelope yesterday. It
said I'm supposed to get the Monday dose TODAY and I've heard nothing
from Gheel”
My
email reply to my son
“Sorry,
I told you I was confused. I'll email the advocate now” 28th
August
Forwarded
email from my eldest that he received from the Advocate:
Subject
Line-
FW: Report of concern regarding vulnerable person and the
relationship between him as a service user and the service provide
From:
Advocate Sent: 28
August 2015 13:10To: Social
CareSubject: Report
of concern regarding vulnerable person and the relationship between
him as a service user and the service providerImportance: High
“Dear
Sir / Madam, Ours is a service offering support in the areas of
homelessness, housing, social welfare and related matters. Mr. X, an
adult young gentleman with Autism made contact with our service this
morning initially through his mother and then spoke to me directly
when I telephoned him on the mobile number given by his mother
for him. In brief I understand from him and his mother that X is a 23
year old gentleman with diagnosed Autism. He is also agoraphobic and
is engaged with a medication regime for both issues under the care of
a Professor Fitzgerald. He lives independently in his own flat and is
supported in that, including financial support of his home through
Gheel Autism. The accommodation (for clarity as regards the enclosed
statement) was not sourced by our service but through Gheel Autism
when the relationship between X and his mother broke down some years
ago and she insisted that he leave the family home). Of late he
reports serious difficulties he has been having as regards the
management of and independent action as regards his medication
regime. He specifically alleges that Gheel, with the involvement of
the Chief Executive have gone beyond their authority as regards
making decisions relating to his medication and withholding it from
him unless he complies with their requests. I enclose the detailed
statement he has provided via his mother, which he repeated in a
summarised form to me on the telephone when I called him this
morning. He is aware that I am making this report and has asked for
the intervention of the HSE in his case. His mother may have already
made contact in this regard. My understanding of what X says is that
he has lost faith in being able to negotiate and resolve the matters
he raises with Gheel without external oversight from the relevant
statutory body or bodies. He feels he has to comply with their
requests to access his medication and is very uncomfortable with the
balance of the relationship. Based
solely on the written material and information provided to me on the
telephone by X I am concerned that there is potentially at the least
a dysfunctional and inappropriate profile to the relationship between
X and Gheel. Obviously I may not be in full possession of the facts
and I make no assertion or allegations independently. X's statement
speaks for itself. However given the national protocols I hereby wish
to report this matter pursuant to the National Policies and
Procedures for the Safeguarding of Vulnerable Persons At Risk of
Abuse and on foot of the telephone conversation and advice I was
given by your colleague Mr. A. G. when I called the number given to
me by the HSE National Information Line this morning. I understand
from Mr. G this email address (socialcare@hse.ie)
is the appropriate reporting route. I further understand from him
that it is checked on a timely and regular basis by the PA to the
National Director of Social Care Mr. Pat Healy and that the matter
will be referred for investigation to the appropriate unit of the
HSE. X’s details are: Finally,
thank you for your prompt attention in this matter. Please do no
hesitate to contact me in the event of any query. X is I
understand from him anxious to hear from the HSE as regards his
difficulties. I have copied on our own nominated officer for child
and vulnerable adult protection on this email and also my line
manager. Please acknowledge receipt of this email. Best regards”
28th
August at 1.37pm
My
Email to Advocate
“Hi,
Sorry to be writing to you again but my son was expecting a delivery
of meds for next week today, as written to him by Barry from Gheel
but there is no sign of them so far. I am worried about him as he
wrote me "Not contacting them at all. I want nothing to do with
them. If they want to withhold my meds again then that's on them"
If he does not get his meds it will have a massive impact on his
medical health and his mindset as he is petrified of withdrawal as he
had a hard time with this back in 2009. I cannot contact Gheel myself
as to my prior experience with them. It is 2 years today since my son
left this house and his first contact to me since then was yesterday
so I am loathe to fail him as it must have taken a lot for him to
contact me after all this time. I am also working two jobs and am
working this afternoon so cannot go to the GP to get him any meds.
That is Gheels job tho”
28th
August at 1.58pm Reply
Email
from Advocate to me
“Dear
Anne, I have been in direct contact with X and he is aware that I
have started a process (he has all the copies). I have also spoken to
him and he appears to be able to interact with them at least on an
‘emergency’ basis. It appears that he can contact them to arrange
this and appears able to do so. Best regards”
Text
from my son at 6.08pm
“No
meds from Gheel today. They said Monday's dose of meds would “arrive
tomorrow” on that envelope yesterday. The pharmacy closes at 7pm on
Saturday's. Safe to say they're withholding it as punishment for me
getting outside help?”
Text
from my son at 6.46pm
“I
suppose you could try involving Garda K again to demand to know why
they've withheld my prescription again, but my eyes are dropping and
I feel exhausted”
28th
August at 7.10pm
My
email reply to my son
“I'm
just in. I'll
send Gheel an email about it including that photo you took of Barry's
package. Not had any reply from anyone else so far”
28th
August at 7.12pm
Email
from my son
“Last
word I had from advocate was him telling me to contact them, while
acknowledging that I was "reluctant." Don't like him very
much. Him telling me to contact Gheel, I mean”
28th
August at 7.14pm
My
email to my son
“He
is a bit sharp but he is brilliant at his job. I've got that Barry's
email addy so I'm sending the email straight to him”
28th
August at 7.17pm 29th
August at 8:54 pm
Email
from my son
“Wrote
it down in my diary:
'Hi,
Fri/Sat/Sun inside. Mondays arrives tomorrow, will drop them up then.
Barry.'
28th
August at 7.27
Email
from my son
“Don't
think you'll get a response if you didn't get one from Peter Byrne,
Darragh Byrne or Kate. They decided to close ranks when this happened
because they know they're all implicated”
28th
August at 7.33pm
My
Email to my son
“Well
luckily you have the advocate now fighting your corner. I reckon they
must all have been called into a meeting for their version of events
which I know they will deny so they will do nothing without a
superior giving the go ahead. I know for certain that the email
report the advocate sent off will have had someone on the phone to
Gheel plus all the people I emailed. There is nought you can do till
the advocate is back at work on Monday but if you need me to go to D
Doc on Sunday then I will but I always had terrible trouble in the
past doing that but I can take along the advocates letter outlining
what is going on. I think they will deliver them to you on Monday as
that is when they are due, they are just idiots telling you they
would be dropped up today”
28th
August at 7.35pm
Email
from my son
“It's
just another power-play. Despicable people”
28th
August at 7:23
My
Email to Barry from Gheel who said he would drop off my son's meds
“Dear
Barry, You delivered eldests meds yesterday and wrote
"Hi
X, Frid/Sat/Sun inside. Monday's arrive tomorrow, will drop up then.
Barry”
My
sontook a photo of this so I have attached it to this
email. As you are aware, if he has been told these meds were arriving
today and they haven't been then his anxiety is heightened greatly
which is massive with his condition. Can you please inform him by
text or email if the late shift staff will be delivering them on the
day you said they would be "dropped up" or have Gheel
decided they are with holding them for whatever reason. Yours
sincerely”
28th
August at 7.49pm
My
email to my son
“We
can't really contact the Garda about it on a Friday, it's their worse
day on the beat. The way that Barry worded it could also read as he
meant Monday and that is what you told Garda K, that you wanted
them delivered only on a Monday”
28th
August at 9.52pm
Reply
email from Barry from Gheel
“Hi
Anne, Many thanks for email, will do so now. Barry”
28th
August at 9.56pm
Forwarded
message from my son that he received from Barry from Gheel
“Hi,
Monday's meds will be dropped up on Monday - my understanding
yesterday was next week's were due in today but we won't get them
until Monday now. Barry”
28th
August at 10.01pm
My
email to my son
“As
long as you have enough till Monday. I have to get to bed now as I'm
up at 6am. I'll only have about 15 mins to check my emails tomorrow
morning and I will be back around 7pm if I'm lucky as there are three
big marches in town tomorrow. I will have my phone with me tho”
My
email to my son
“Any
word out of Gheel to you today?”
29th
August at 8.56pm
Email
from my son
“Nope.
None yesterday until you pressed Barry for info so why would they
bother today? Wait a sec, just had an email from
Darragh while writing this reply. Will read it now”
My
son sent me the email he got from Darragh Byrne from Gheel.
“Hi,
I just wanted to follow up with you regarding your medication and
your desire to have more control over your medication. For the last
2 years, Professor Fitzgerald has been prescribing the medication and
we have been taking the prescriptions to your Dr. to have the
prescription placed onto the GMS forms (we do this because you have a
medical card and the meds are free if we obtain these forms). We then
send the forms to “chemist” and they supply the medication to us
in the pouches which we have been dropping down to you at the times
which you requested (twice per week) which was agreed by our clinical
team (which includes Professor Fitzgerald amongst others). You are
now requesting that the medication be dropped to you once per week
only and I have passed on this request to our clinical team as I am
obliged to do. Given the types and dosages of medication and the fact
that you are not taking them as prescribed (taking more than the
prescribed dose at certain times), our clinical team have decided not
to sanction the change to one drop per week. You are correct in
saying that the medication is yours but as it stands it is prescribed
by a member of the Gheel Clinical Team so they have a say in how
often it is dropped down to you. Another
option would be for you not to
have your medication prescribed by Professor Fitzgerald and have it
prescribed by your GP instead. Dr. **** is not a member of the Gheel
Clinical Team and as such, the clinical team would have no say over
how much you would be permitted to have at one time. The arrangement
would be between yourself and Dr. **** exclusively and Gheel would
not be involved in any way. Gheel would not even store the
medication. The Outreach Team would facilitate you
getting to and from Dr. ****'s clinic as often as required (as
always). The Gheel Clinical Team have not yet spoken to Dr. **** to
see if he would be open to this arrangement but does this sound like
something you would be open to? Darragh”
29th
August at 8.59pm
My
email to my son
“What
do you make of that email”
29th
August at 9pm
Email
from my son
“Trying
to send a text but it isn't going through so I'll copy and paste it
here:
“He's
a fucking lying scumbag. Richard from the Outreach team was at my
appointment when Dr **** said he couldn't overrule professor
Fitzgerald. I am completely helpless and they all know it”
29th
August at 9.07pm
My
email to my son
“You
are not helpless as the advocate in his report has requested an
independent external person for a vulnerable person to be brought
onboard for you. Darragh Byrne has written that email so he has
something to hand over to the advocate and any other professional who
are now looking into your complaint. The advocate has your words of
what actually happened at the Dr which he based his report on so
Darragh Byrne is covering his ass but he is a fool because they have
previously known you take extra meds to get you out to those gigs so
they cannot claim they are merely protecting your health now. I need
to re read the advocates report about that other advocate he is
talking about”
29th
August at 9.10pm
Email
from my son
“I
honestly assumed that lost dose of meds were being withheld so they
could change over to once a week drop offs but it's all about control
with Gheel.
29th
August at 9.17pm
My
email to my son
“our
clinical team have decided not to sanction the change to one drop per
week"
They
have basically refused to allow you to have them once per week but
they have known all along that you take extra when you need them.
Darragh Byrne has a massive cheek as he sat in this house and did
shag all for you when you took that last overdose so I don't see how
he's worried about you now. For the moment you will have to accept
the twice a week drop off's until the advocate gets a full report
from them but they do have a lot to answer for. They also know you
have agoraphobia so it's a piss take to inform you that they will
take you to the Dr when he refused to do anything to help you at
your last appointment”
29th
August at 9:22 pm
My
email to my son
“You
also need to inform the advocate that when you refuse to engage with
them as in open the door to them that they tell you they will just
use the key they hold to enter your abode as that is an abuse of
power. I forgot to tell him as it wasn't in your email”
29th
August at 9.24pm
Email
from my son
“I
don't like him. I'm not informing him of anything. Nothing will
change with Gheel regardless of his involvement. If I
hang myself from the railings outside my flat tomorrow night then
someone from the Outreach team will find my corpse in the morning.
That's the only way I can get back at them over what they're doing to
me”
29th
August at 9.28pm
My
Email to my son
“You
don't need to like the advocate, he is a professional who is working
for you and he was quick of the mark getting that letter sent of in
just a couple of hours, he has hundreds of clients. You don't want to
be getting back at them, they are only workers who are not doing what
they get paid for, they would not give a monkeys, you would just be
yet another HSE statistic”
30th
August at 9.17am
My
email to my son
“Tell
me exactly what it is you want if you do not want to have Gheel as
your support any more. Writing
about hanging yourself to get back at them will only make the
professionals claim they are only concerned about your risk and
threats of suicide. No one will take you seriously re your genuine
complaint about Gheels control and manipulation over you if you don't
stay calm and logical. Even writing this to you has me on edge re
your reaction to my words but it appears that nothing has changed for
you except your residence so what it is you want. I found this, I
don't know if it will be helpful. http://www.aspergerexperts.com,
They are two young men who claim they changed their lives and want to
help change others as they were both in your situation”
30th
August at 9.19am
Email
from my son
“I
don't care any more. I have no way out”
30th
August at 9.22am
My
email to X
“Give
it a couple of hours and see if you can think better then. You are in
a bad place at the moment but that can change”
Text
from my son at 9.36am
“ some
text missing* ely helpless and they all know it”
My
reply text sent to my son at 10.37am
“Text
missing so did not get message cept helpless. You are not helpless at
all. You're just down very dark hole because of what is happening
with Gheel. I told you it can change but you need to state what it is
you want to happen”
My
Text to my son at 10.48am,
“If
you don't want to live under Gheels care, just let me know and I'll
sort it”
No
Reply from my son
31st
August
9.12am
I received a forwarded email from my son that he sent to the
Advocate:
“I have been awake
since around 7:00am yesterday morning. The withdrawal came a day
sooner than I expected but I was awake well past midnight the night
before, which is usually a sign that the withdrawal has kicked in
(then my skin starts feeling like leather, as though I'm wearing
someone else's skin.) As I've already told you, Barry of the Gheel
Residential Outreach team left a brown envelope outside my front door
on the 27th; written on the envelope was a message telling me that it
only contained 3 days worth of my prescription (out of the 4 days I
get on Thursdays) and that the last dose would be dropped off the
next day. I still have this envelope on my desk.
I
had an email from Barry on the 28th. He sent it at 9:56pm. He only
sent it after being angrily prompted by my mother:
Hi,
Monday's meds will be dropped up on Monday - my
understanding yesterday was next week's were due in today from Abbey
Healthcare today but we won't get them until Monday now.
After
I went to my GP looking for help on the 17th, Darragh messaged me
saying that he'd gotten an extra prescription from Professor
Fitzgerald that I could take whenever I needed it. He obviously
panicked and didn't expect me to go outside Gheel looking for help.
Richard from the Outreach Team was in Doctor **** office with me, as
I'd hoped the doctor could get Peter Byrne's phone number from him
and tell him never to interfere with my medication again. I've
already said I did not want this 'extra' prescription Darragh dangled
in front of me but if there really was a problem at the pharmacy then
Gheel could easily have picked it up from the pharmacy that they used
to go to and drop off what little I needed.
I
received this email from Darragh on the 29th at 8:55pm. It has a
few holes in it.
Hi
, I just wanted to follow up with you regarding your medication and
your desire to have more control over your medication. For the last 2
years, Professor Fitzgerald has been prescribing the medication and
we have been taking the prescriptions to Dr. X to have the
prescription placed onto the GMS forms ( we do this because you have
a medical card and the meds are free if we obtain these forms). We
then send the forms to Abbey Healthcare and they supply the
medication to us in the pouches which we have been dropping down to
you at the times which you requested (twice per week) which was
agreed by our clinical team (which includes Professor Fitzgerald
amongst others). You are now requesting that the medication be
dropped to you once per week only and I have passed on this request
to our clinical team as I am obliged to do. Given the types and
dosages of medication and the fact that you are not
taking them as prescribed (taking more than the prescribed dose at
certain times), our clinical team have decided not to
sanction the change to one drop per week. You are correct in saying
that the medication is yours but as it stands it is prescribed by a
member of the Gheel Clinical Team so they have a say in how often it
is dropped down to you. Another option would be for you not to
have your medication prescribed by Professor Fitzgerald and have it
prescribed by your GP, Dr. X instead. Dr. X is not a member of the
Gheel Clinical Team and as such, the clinical team would have no say
over how much you would be permitted to have at one time. The
arrangement would be between yourself and Dr. X exclusively and Gheel
would not be involved in any way. Gheel would not even store the
medication. The Outreach Team would facilitate you getting to and
from Dr. X's clinic as often as required (as always). The Gheel
Clinical Team have not yet spoken to Dr. to see if he would be open
to this arrangement but does this sound like something you would be
open to?
After
reading this I forwarded it straight to mum and I pointed out one of
the holes in it to her. I'll point out the rest below, and it might
seem complex as I mention exact dates in my diary, but I want to make
the point that she made: this email was not written with me in mind.
Mum's exact words:
Darragh
Byrne has written that email so he has something to hand over to “the
advocate” and any other professional who are now looking into your
complaint. N has your words of what actually happened at Dr X's which
he based his report on so Darragh Byrne is covering his ass but he is
a fool because they have previously known you take extra meds to get
you out to those gigs so they cannot claim they are merely protecting
your health now.
Take
a look at the part of Darraghs email that I highlighted in bold for
just a second. For the best part of two years I have had my
prescription of clonazepam dropped off twice per week. It is only
recently that Gheel switched chemists who distribute medication in
small plastic packets/pouches with instructions written on them. Mine
say to take two clonazepam per day, but if I did that they'd be
completely ineffective as I've been desensitised to benzodiazepines
after being on-and-off them ever since my exams in 2007. I would also
go into immediate benzo withdrawal like I did in
2009 when stopping 3mg daily xanax (cold turkey) after 9 months of
straight use, whereas at the moment the withdrawal takes a few days
to kick in. I only lasted 5 days on the Xanax before Dr suggested I
be sectioned for refusing to taper off slowly.
I
have countless emails and texts from the past two years between
myself and Darragh as well as myself and Kate (my key worker at
Gheel) proving they were well aware what doses I was taking and that
I was only taking them twice weekly unless I needed to take them more
than twice a week (several dentist visits, two doctor's appointments
and a total of 7 concerts as of the 12th, to name a few reason.)
Here
are the other holes in his email:
Richard,
an Outreach Team member, was in Dr **** office during my appointment
and heard him say very clearly that he could
not/would not overrule a specialist after I told him I wanted to get
my prescriptions directly through him from then on and not have to
deal with Professor Fitzgerald (I'd written all of this down but Dr
said he was busy and told me to read aloud what I'd written.)
Darragh is well aware I can't just go to my GP, and if you think I'm
being paranoid about that take a look at hole #2:
I
didn't meet Dr **** until the summer of 2013. I've already said
above that I was being prescribed 3mg (extended release) Xanax daily
through most of 2009. Dr **** prescribed this after my mum requested
the prescription for me during an appointment of her own. I've told
both Darragh and Kate about this at least once before. If Darragh
was serious about changing me back over to my GP he could have
easily asked Professor Fitzgerald to cancel my prescription and then
asked Dr **** to continue filling out the 'GMS forms', i.e. to
continue my prescription by himself without Fitzgerald's
involvement. It could not have taken more than an afternoon of
making a few phone calls on Darraghs part to make this change-over.
I
have a bench and weights set I got on gumtree a few years ago here
in my living room. I haven't used it since early this year, but when
I do lift weights I take a caffeine pill as a pre-workout. Unlike
benzos I'm extremely sensitive to stimulants. On the 20th of
February I asked Darragh and Kate for my dosing schedule to be
changed to Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to reflect the days I
lifted on so I could have something to help me come down from the
caffeine. They had zero problem in switching to these days. No
'clinical team' was involved as far as I'm aware (the above email is
the first time they've ever mentioned that they even had one.) I
stopped lifting not long after the change and on the 20th of May I
mentioned to Richard, who was dropping my meds off that day, that I
wanted to be switched back to Mondays and Thursdays (on the 8th of
May I'd accidentally been moved to once a week, and then Mondays and
Wednesdays, by Paul as a result of the switch to “another
chemist”.) Richard offered to update the Outreach roster to
reflect the change I wanted, which I didn't know he could do. I told
Richard all of this at 4:05pm (I log the exact time they knock
on my door and what they drop off and have done since I moved in 2
years ago.) Richard called me at 4:21pm confirming I'd be
getting my meds on Mondays and Thursdays starting the next week but
for that week I'd get my next dose of meds on Friday as usual.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it would be rather difficult to arrange
a 'clinical team' meeting within just 16 minutes considering
Professor Fitzgerald only comes in to Gheel's offices once per
month.
As
I said at the start of the email, I have been awake since
yesterday due to withdrawal. This is the second
time Gheel have forced me into withdrawal this month.
The first time they withheld my last dose of the
week was after I threatened to take what little I
had left and call the Guards before the concert on the 12th.
The second time (now) comes after Garda
K from called Darragh on the 27th to tell him something I'd already
told Barry on the 24th: that I wanted some control over my
prescription in the form of having access to the entire week's worth
and rationing it by myself.
If
you want to, you can count the dose I ignored them over until I'd
been awake for three days before finally asking for it on the 22nd;
but if you cannot see what they're doing to me
and why then you aren't paying attention. They
are bullying me into not seeking help outside of
Gheel. You're probably going to suggest that since they're a
registered charity they aren't capable of that kind of behaviour but
you shouldn't forget that it's still a company made up of people who
have demonstrated (I feel) that they're more than capable of being as
petty and spiteful as anyone else, particularly when threatened with
the law.
Peter
Byrne and Darragh Byrne have a history of exercising authority over
that they don't actually have, which Garda K called 'medical
mispractice' (something I was under the impression only applied to
medical professionals. Neither Darragh nor his father Peter are
doctors. They work for a charity funded by the HSE”
Text
from my son at 8.19am
“Had
a reply from the advocate completely dismissing all of the points I
made. Forwarded it to you”
From
the advocate Date: Mon, Aug 31, 2015 at 9:17am “Dear
X, It appears from the earlier email that your med's are to be
dropped over today (it appears they will arrive there today from “the
chemist”). From what you sent me it does not look like the
medication was physically present at Gheel. At any time if you are
feeling unwell and concerned I would strongly recommend that you call
an ambulance should you be worried about falling ill and needing
medical attention. As
you will have seen from my emails on Friday the matter of your
relationship with Gheel is now with the National Director for Social
Care of people with Disabilities. Her email is shown there I think
when I sent on the response I got from HSE. The basic dispute
about how Gheel provide your medication and whether or not that is in
accordance with the prescription and medication regime determined
with Professor Fitzgerald will no doubt be looked into. If you
do not hear from theHSE
today you could contact her to ask about the progression of your
complaint. Let me know what happens. You have records there so you
could forward this material on to the HSE so that they are fully
informed. Best regards”
31st
August at 9:32am
My
email to my son
“It
does not read to me that he is dismissing you. As I told you he has
hundreds of clients. He probably did not have the time to go through
each point you made as Cross care is a drop in centre in the middle
of town where people queue up and sleep outside of to get help. I
pass that building and see them when I am working in town. In my view
he was very proactive in getting that letter sent of as quick as he
did because I know how busy he must be. He will need to wait to get
a reply from the people he sent it to and that will not happen until
they have investigated Gheel and he cannot go any further with it
until he has your consent letter which will probably arrive tomorrow.
I am working in town on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday so I could
pick it up from you on Wednesday”
31st
August at 9:40am
My
email to my son
“The
advocates job is to hear your complaint and get it of to the relevant
bodies whose job it is to investigate, so he has done a good thing
for you. With HSE prof's, everything takes time so all I can say is
to have a bit of patience and the advocate is right if you feel ill
at all re no meds then D Doc will be your first port of call. I can
go with you if you don't want to go alone. I have to ask you again,
do you have text proof of Darragh Byrne telling you that he thinks
you should "have a break" from meds?”
31st
August at 9.43
Reply
Email from my son
“They
switched to a new number a while after this called the Residential
Outreach number, this was when they split into two teams, the other
being the Transition team. Relevant diary entry from 2014: 30th
of October: Text Gheel Outreach number at 1:05pm asking if I can skip
Monday's dose of meds and have them dropped off today, reply at
1:08pm asking if Paul hadn't already dropped meds off this morning so
I explain that I've already taken them and want Monday's dose today
so I can use them tomorrow morning to go out on my bike; Fiona
responds via outreach number saying she'll have to check with Darragh
if it's okay and I angrily tell her to just forget it because Kate
has always been fine with it. Text from Fiona at 3:01pm saying she'd
talked to Darragh and he said I'll have to wait until my next dose, I
reply saying Gheel are a fucking joke as it's my prescription and I
shouldn't have to be begging for it”
31st
August at 9:47am
My
Email to my son
“Good
that you have record of it. Advocate says that a woman from the HSE
he sent letter to may contact you today so you will have to take that
call and stay as calm and precise and logical as you can be.
Stick to the facts as she will be making notes”
31st
August at 9.50am
Email
reply from my son
“I'm
not going to be able to answer things on the spot very well.
Especially not while going through withdrawal. I'd prefer it if I had
an email address I could forward the email I sent to advocate this
morning”
Text
from my son at 8.48am
“Yes
I have the text. But it doesn't reflect well on me. I'd had the meds
dropped off early plenty of times before so I snapped at the new girl
when I should have gone after Darragh”
My
text to my son at 9.50am
“It
does not matter that you snapped. They are trained for that. The
point is you were told to take a break from someone who is not a
doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist, that is malpractice”
Text
from my son at 10.27am
“Tim
just texted me from the Outreach number asking if I'm free for my
meds to be dropped off. I'm going to confront him about the
withdrawal”
My
text to my son at 10.28am
“I
wouldn't confront him. He's just making a delivery. Turn your anger
into energy and save it for now”
Text
from my son at 11.01am
“Tim
dropped meds off just now. Had to speak to him through gritted teeth.
He explained that the Lyrica is now fixed and the Xanax is gone”
My
text to my son at 11.02am
“Good
for you that you did not shoot the delivery man. Did you also get the
other meds you need. I cannot spell them”
31st
August 11.10am- Text from my son
“Clonazepam.
The benzo. Everything's here. 4 days worth. Should probably wait a
few hours or risk fucking up my sleep pattern but I cant stand
feeling like this”
31st
August 11.12am- MY text to my son
“Take
your normal dose and go to sleep for one hour, set your alarm to wake
you up. Even an hours sleep could help”
31st
August Text from my son at 12.37pm
“Clonazepam
euphoria is always followed by depression. Not so with Lyrica, which
I can't waste today. I'm going back to bed”
31st
August at 1.21pm- My email to my son
“I
doubt Dr **** will agree to any new meds especially Tramadol because
even tho you say they work well for anxiety, they are a pain
medication and you would have to be in agony to be prescribed these.
I do not dislike the man, I just think and have told him to his face
and by email that he is one lazy bloody doctor. It is
an awful way to live tho as you have described it and I wish to god
one expert could sort this for you. As far as I can tell, the
advocate said the HSE would contact you directly today, Tim nor Gheel
would have any impact on that, all questions or calls or emails from
the HSE to Gheel will go thru their higher up's in their head office
in Kildare. You have every right to say what's on your mind to
anyone let alone Gheel support staff. But never forget all you say
and all you do could be misconstrued and put in a report in their
premises and I can tell you now they are all liars from the HSE down.
I have my own experience with them and falsification of records. But
they don't mind as long as they are getting funding. Did Gheel or
the Professor ever do a complete profile with you, can't remember the
right name for it, like the one youngest had to get his diagnosis
because they should have done, your meds could then be updated
accordingly if you are only feeling good 2 days out of 7, I know help
is out there somewhere, it's the finding it. A good place to start is
that link I sent you because the only people who know how you feel
are the people who experience the same thing”
31st
August at 1.33pm- Email from my son
“There
was never any 'profile', as far as I know. They gave me this Person
Centred Planning form that Paul helped me fill out in 2013. It was
almost entirely a description of myself with some bits tacked on
about what kind of treatment I wanted and he said that it was so
other staff could get a good idea of what I was like just by reading
the form first”
31st
August at 1.37pm- My email to my son
“If
you think it's worth making an appointment with Dr **** outlining all
this then you have every right to go along and explain it to him, he
may well refuse, or he may tell you to go to the Professor first or
attend the Mental Health Community Centre and see a psychiatrist as
he told me to do so with you previously BUT I had to educate him that
having Aspergers is nothing to do with mental health”
31st
August at 7.20pm - My email to my son “I'm
back now. Any news your end”
31st
August at 7.21pm – From my son “No
HSE phone call today”
31st
August at 7.26pm - My email to my son “Hopefully
you'll hear something tomorrow. Did you ever receive a copy of the
person centred plan because you should have done”
31st
August at 7.42pm- My email to my son
“There
will also be a detailed support plan which is what they need to
present to the HSE for funding, by memory I think they get around
€10,000 or €20,000 a month per client housed by them. It's a
complete farce. The email Darragh Byrne sent you has been playing on
my mind re meds, making out bothered about your health. From my
records he said this to you about alcohol "If
that was a positive experience for you, if you liked it, your 21 that
is the sort of shit 21 year old do, go out, get vodka, get breakfast,
have a beer, have Baileys, that is the sort of shit you are entitled
to do, you are old enough, it's your life"
31st
August at 7.46pm- Email from my son
“Rent
at this flat is €1,000 per month because it's so close to the
entrance to the city centre. Even including bills there's no way it
comes to over €10k. I don't really drink any more but alcohol isn't
detrimental to my health so I don't really so how that quote matters”
31st
August at 8.01pm - Email to my son
“It
matters because he stated "It's your life" so you are in
control, not them”
1st
September text from my son at 10.35am
“Just
checked upstairs for mail and still no letter”
1st
September text from my son at 10.42am
“Tesco
delivery tomorrow morning so I'm going to take all of my Lyrica for
it. That means I'll be able to leave the house for around 5 hours
after it kicks in. Hopefully it will arrive in the morning”
I
tried to ring the Advocate but he was in a meeting. He rang me at
5.04pm
“I
don't need “son's” consent any more as the complaint has gone
high up the chain to the Director of Social Care so has to be
investigated. He feel there should be an intermediary, independent
of Gheel so “son” has someone to report to, to change the status
quo. Don't know what the outcome will be, Gheel could claim the
medication situation is in “son's” best interests if abuse of
medication has been an issue in the past, also fact of “son's”
non-compliance with the agency so no idea what will be done but
investigated it will be. That's my work done as it's gone up the
chain” I thanked him for all his help.
2nd
September at 7.21 pm
My
email to my son
“My
first thoughts on reading this is “that's shocking” not what your
doing but why you are doing it. I know you always investigate things
entirely but there is always a risk with anything. A huge red flag to
me is in the photo as the vials are hand written and not printed.
Are you still doing this because you say that it gives you the
confidence to go to the communal hallway to check for mail but in an
earlier email you said you do not go out so has it stopped working or
have you stopped injecting. Did no doctor or consultant in the
hospital advise you about the injections or an alternative to conquer
anxiety? If you were told it's not illegal and it happened in July
and the hospital staff know, the Ambulance service know, the Garda
know and Gheel staff know then I am pretty certain no one gives a
monkey's. If Gheel were at all concerned for your health and safety
re these injection they would have bloody held a meeting and got
their so called top Psychologists on board so their lack of care and
concern leaves the ball in their proverbial court. You are doing what
you are doing to help yourself cope with life. Yes I have no doubts
at all that Gheel will lie, not answer and wriggle their way out of
all and any questions, like they did with all the politicians I went
to to get help and supports, they would not answer one question. The
fact that I had been roaring for help and supports since 2006 and got
shag all makes all in implicit to what you have endured all these
years. I totally blame all those professionals and also myself but
the clock cannot be reversed. Your legal and human rights have been
abused as you had no help and supports (although you were hardly
compliant re these yourself) you've had no proper GP care at all
despite numerous phone calls by myself and many other agencies, (the
refuge staff and the Garda) The Disability sector did absolutely
nothing which was when I lost the plot with them all. They must all
hate the very sight of my name now but I now no longer fear anyone or
anything and they all know it. As for Gheel perhaps raising this,
well tough, just remember this: Deirdre sat in this living room and
had a general conversation with me before she started youngests
assessment, he was slow getting down the stairs. She asked me about
my family and I told her I did not know them as we were all in the
care system and scattered to the four winds but that I had a half
sister who emailed me about the cancer gene that runs in my family
and she wanted me to get tested for it, she also said in her email
that my baby brother was on class A drugs. I thought she was talking
bullshit because she had never met him and he had never met his
father so god knows where she got this info from. I was just telling
Deirdre this as part of the conversation and lo and behold when
youngests assessment finally arrived she had written it down as fact
and when I pulled her up about it she told me that people with
Aspergers may take many substances to help them cope with their
problems and anxiety. My reply was “you have not assessed my
brother, you cannot assess my brother and what I told you in a
general conversation was third hand and not proven and my brother was
abused every which way by Christian brothers so will be lucky to
still be bloody sane and I want that removed from youngests report”
she said she would remove it but I doubt she did as they do not
listen to any one and think because they have letters after their
name that they are above anyone else. So remember that if Gheel try
to pull that one, their own psychologist told your mother that
“people with Aspergers may take many substances to help them cope
with their problems and anxiety” Also remember that I have seen
and spoken to almost 100 professionals and since 2007 you have been
on some kind of medication or another that I had to battle for on
your behalf since then and if nothing has changed in your life at all
then they should all be thinking outside of the box how to get you
the right kind of help for you and not try and force you into fitting
into one of their boxes. That is what they get paid for. It has been
9 years now and it is a disgrace”
2nd
September at 7.53pm
Email
from my son
I've
tried CBT and Exposure Therapy. When Darragh first took me to the
post office to get my disability he kept reassuring me in the car
that I'd be fine because he could see how fucking terrified I was.
Luckily I didn't have to speak to the person behind the counter, I
just handed my card over and they did the work. My hands were shaking
so hard I almost dropped the money. He got me a prescription of Xanax
after that, which I took before every trip to the post office until I
opened a bank account. Your spiteful, sarcastic email where you said
"I am delighted for you if you have overcome over 7 years of
agoraphobia in just 13 days. Amazing." did not help. Darragh's
email to you left a hell of a lot out. One point being that he took
almost six months
to
arrange my bins and I had so many black bags in the kitchen/living
room you'd have thought I was a hoarder. When I moved in here the
fridge-freezer was broken and all of my food had to be chucked out. I
lived on pizza and curry chips for nearly two months and had to pop
open my Lyrica capsules and snort the powder just to calm me down so
I could make an phone call to make an order so I could keep myself
fed. Eventually I got a new, much smaller fridge-freezer that can't
hold very much”
3rd
September text from my son at 10.51am
“Checked
for mail. Nothing. No contact from HSE either”
3rd
September text from ME to my son at 11.53am
“Send
the advocate an email. I'm in work till 5pm. Just write heard nothing
from HSE and he'll get straight onto them on your behalf”
3rd
September text from my son at 5.24pm
“
Just
replied to your email and got another email from advocate a minute
later. Sending it to you now”
3rd
September at 6.21pm
My
email to my son
“I'm
back. Did you sent an email to advocate”
3rd
Sep at 6.22pm – Email reply from my son
“Yes,
got this as a response:
“Thanks.
I will contact them. Are you getting your meds ?”
3rd
September at 6.25pm -
Email
from my son that the advocate sent him
“Dear
X, Please see email below
from the HSE. Best regards”
From:
loreto HOGAN [mailto:loreto.hogan@hse.ie]
On
Behalf Of isam
DncSent:
03
September 2015 18:21To:
Advocate Subject:
Report
of concern regarding vulnerable person and the relationship between
him as a service user and the service provider
Dear
Advocate I wish to acknowledge receipt of your e-mail of 28thAugust
2015 to the HSE Social Care National Division regarding Mr. X. As
Mr. X is a resident of this Area, your e-mail was brought to the
attention of Des O’Flynn, Area Manager for HSE Dublin North City. I
would like to thank you for your e-mail and to assure you that the
issues raised in your e-mail are receiving attention. Regards,
Acting Area Manager
3rd
September at 6.30pm
My
email to my son
“Suppose
they get so many complaints from all services the HSE provide that it
all takes time but I will contact the man Des Flynn if you don't hear
anything by next week. Has Gheel been in contact with you this week,
I thought they would have asked youngest to contact you to see what
is going on with you so they can find out”
3rd
September at 6.34
Reply
email from my son
“He
wouldn't speak to me if they asked. You wouldn't believe the vile
bullshit he put me through just before Christmas in 2013. That was
the last time I spoke to him”
3rd
September at 6.36pm
My
email to my son
“OK,
was just a thought I had in my head today when they tried to contact
youngest thru you when he would not answer any of their texts and
calls”
3rd
September at 6.45pm- Email from my son
“Where
did you hear about that?”
3rd
September at 6.48pm
My
email to my son
“When
you and youngest were here and they left me alone with no calls over
Xmas 2012 when youngest was doing all that stuff to himself and I was
going out of my mind, then Paul decided to "catch up" after
5 days of begging them to help us, I would not take his call and told
you that he would probably call you, you said he wouldn't as he never
does but he did and you answered and told him that mum has basically
washed her hands off you as you have done nothing about youngest”
4th
September at 1.16pm. Email my son received and forwarded to me
From: Anne
O'Loughlin <annem.oloughlin@hse.ie> Date:
4 September 2015 at 12:15 Subject: Social Work service. “Dear
Mr. X, I wish to inform you that I am assessing your allegation of
carer abuse by Gheel Autism Services. I will be in contact with you
the week of 14th September
2015 as I am on annual leave. I have informed Mr. Peter Byrne CEO
Gheel Services of your allegation of ‘carer abuse’ by him and
some of his staff. Please be assured I will take your allegation
seriously and carry out a comprehensive assessment of this
allegation. In the meantime please e mail me of any additional
information you think would be helpful or any additional matters of
concern to you. Yours sincerely,
Ms.
Anne O'Loughlin, Principal Social Worker, St. Mary's Hospital,
Phoenix Park, Chapelizod D20”
My
son replied to Ms Anne O'laughlin and forwarded it to me
“To:
Anne O'Loughlin <annem.oloughlin@hse.ie> “Thank
you for emailing me. I
prefer email to phone calls as
I have the memory of a goldfish (which is why I keep a diary) and I'm
quite ineloquent. I'm also pretty anxious over the phone unless I'm
sedated.
I
was put through withdrawal by Gheel twice in the space of a month (or
three times, depending on your opinion.) In my two years of
dealing with them I've had a couple of cases of withdrawal when
coming off medication but not once had they withheld
my own prescription from me to the detriment to my health
(Darragh had withheld it before, after I requested it early, on
the 30th of October, 2014 but I did not suffer withdrawal as they
still gave me the rest of my medication on the following Monday.) I
was given only 6 days worth of medication from the 10th to the 16th
of August. I went into withdrawal from the 16th to the 17th. I had
Doctor's appointment on the 17th and I asked my GP for help but he
refused and told me I'd have to talk to Peter Byrne. I was also given
only six days of medication from the 24th to the 30th of August. I
went into withdrawal from the 30th to the 31st.
But
there was another case I haven't written down yet that I'd like
someone to know about. After my Doctor's appointment I said to
Richard, from the Outreach team, as he was driving me home that I
didn't want to see anyone from Gheel at my door again and I wanted
nothing to do with them. He said he was sorry for being 'involved in
all this' as I stormed out of the car. I bolted the latch on the
front door and went straight to bed. This was on Monday the 17th of
August.
On
the following Thursday (the 20th,) Tim, from the Outreach team, tried
to drop my prescription off around 1:40pm. I was lying in bed with
headphones on full blast most of the day because I didn't want to see
them. I expected them to just leave the medication outside just like
Darragh did not long after I moved in (on the 12th of September,
2013, I had a text from Darragh at 5:21pm saying he dropped off
that week's dose of Lyrica in a plastic tub under garden pot outside
because I didn't answer door as I was asleep. I live in a basement
flat which is tucked away pretty well so there was no chance of
them disappearing.)
Then
at 4:06pm I had a missed call from a private number, I looked through
the blinds of my window and saw Richard standing at the front door. I
had a text from his number at 4:10pm saying he's outside if I wanted
to 'take [my] meds off [him],' What followed was a flurry of texts
and calls from Darragh Byrne saying they're 'concerned.' I then had a
text from Darragh at 5:02pm reminding me he has a spare key (as the
flat and even the modem are in his name despite it all being funded
by the HSE) and threatening to come into my home if he hears nothing
from me. I gave him a crude response to get him to leave me alone and
went to bed. I was awake all night.
Then,
on the 21st, I had a text from Darragh at 11:13am asking if I
want my meds 'dropped down today.' I ignored it. I went to bed around
9:00pm. I was awake all night, again. At least with Xanax withdrawal
(in 2009) I managed 20 minutes of sleep per night.
On
the 22nd, a Saturday, I had a text from Darragh at 10:48am
asking if I want meds today and saying they could just leave them
outside my door; I replied this time, as the palpitations from the
withdrawal were getting pretty bad, my tear ducts were swollen and
crimson due to dryness from lack of sleep, my eyes were bloodshot and
my skin felt like leather. This was the point I started to feel like
my relationship with Gheel was one between a junkie and a drug
dealer. I had a text from Pearl via Gheel Residential Outreach
number at 12:07pm saying she'll be over in 10 minutes to drop meds
off; followed by a text from Darragh at 12:21pm saying they should be
here in about 10 minutes. I heard a knock on my front door at 12:29pm
and found a plastic bag tied to the handle on my front door
containing a small brown envelope with 8x2mg clonazepam, 8x80mg
Inderal LA, 8x75mg Lyrica and 8x25mg Lyrica in total. There
was nothing stopping them from doing this without
demanding I beg them for my own prescription. I'd made it clear I
wanted no contact with them. My mother told me these were mind
games on their part; that may be the case but I see it as controlling
behaviour. They refused to just leave my medication at my door, which
Darragh had no problem doing in the past. They demanded that I engage
with them and ask for my prescribed medication on
the days I was supposed to get them. I have countless texts from
the past two years showing this had never happened before. They are
exercising authority that they don't have (as they are just employees
of a charity, not Doctors.) He included his very long email he sent
to the advocate too.
4th
September at 1.44pm
My
email to my son
“It
is very good, the only downside that I can see is there is a lot of
information for anyone to digest. I
know from experience that Professionals would be more used to Bullet
points and would then come back to ask you questions if they want
extra clarification. That is the only thing I can think of. I know
for a fact that Darragh Byrne's email to you was on the back of your
complaint to the advocate and I repeat again that if he was at all
concerned about your misuse of your prescription then he would have
damn well done something about you when you were here, he did
nothing, nothing at all. I have all the proof you need eg: for you to
even talk to him in this house you had x amount of Xanax in your
system, the same goes for that Scottish Consultant Psychologist Gheel
use, he was well aware of your intake due to extreme anxiety and he
too did nothing. I do not know what a Social Worker hopes to achieve
but if it gives you an independent person that can liaise with your
consent and on your behalf then that is a good thing. Are you happy
the process has started now, Gheel are slippier than eels so do not
expect any great results, you know I have had my dealings with them
and they answer to no one and could not give a monkeys. Darragh Byrne
was a car salesman for 9 years, you have to be born a carer, no one
can train you to be one. Nepotism is alive and kicking at Gheel”
4th
September text from my son at 12.18pm
“It's
starting. Email from Anne O'Loughlin from the HSE that I've just
forwarded to you. It took me an hour to write my response and I've
just forwarded that to you also”
4th
September text from my son at 12.25pm
“Since
the advocate was so dismissive of my email to him I'd like you to
critique my response when your finished reading so I don't make any
mistakes in future”
4th
September text from ME to my son at 1.26pm
“
Ok,
will do once I've finished reading but all sounds succinct so far”
4th
September at 1.50pm Email from my son
“Darragh
told me he had a desk job for ages that he was sick of and one day he
got a call from "Peter Byrne" (he always calls his dad by
his name so no one will suspect nepotism) who asked him to lead the
Outreach team he was forming. I'm worried that nothing will be done
regards Peter and Darragh Byrne. Advocate suggested that the outcome
would be that I have someone to liason with but that doesn't fix the
problem of them abusing authority that they don't have.
4th
September at 1.59pm Email from me to my son “The
times I told Darragh Byrne to get the CEO of Gheel to reply to my
previous emails of complaints I've lost track of. I was always going
nuts on the phone so would tell Darragh Byrne that the CEO was a fat
twat etc, not once did he mention the ignoramus was his father”
5th
September at 5.59pm
My
email to my son
“I'm
in from work. Any news”
5th
September at 6pm
From
my son
“Nope”
7th
September text from my son at 08.52am
“Meds
don't usually get dropped off till the day shift come in after
10.30am”
7th
September text from my son at 11.25am
“Still
nothing. Only had 4 hours of sleep too. Sundays are always shit as
that's when I'm furthest away from my last dose during the week”
7th
September text from my son at 8.07pm
“I
did not get one reply from all people I sent that 1st
email to”
8th
September at 1.22am
Email
from my son
“You
said no-one replied to your initial emails (apart from that later one
from Barry), but did the Dr ever respond to the email you sent to
him? Also, in my email to Anne O'Laughlin I told her about me
getting just 6 days worth of my prescription for
the second time,
the first time being when I threatened to call the Guards and the
second time when Darragh had a phone call from a Garda. Considering
what I highlighted in bold, what do you think Garda K would have to
say about Darragh and co. fucking around with my prescription again,
making me go through withdrawal again,
after I'd gone to K for help?
In
the two years I've lived under Gheel I'd only gone through withdrawal
twice. The first time was when I came off daily Lyrica at the end of
2013. It was pretty shit but not particularly horrible, I just felt
the room spinning around me constantly. The second time I went
through withdrawal was earlier this year when I went from taking meds
three times per week back to taking them twice weekly, the Xanax
complicated things so I asked for it to be dropped from my
prescription and stopped taking it. This withdrawal was worse and
lasted several weeks but, just like the Lyrica, it was a result of me
deciding to come off a medication I'd
built up a tolerance to.
Then
in August I went through Benzo withdrawal three
times between
the 16th and the 31st. All caused by Gheel. There is absolutely no
fucking way they can play silly buggers about that with any
authority, no matter how corrupt it is. There's no excuse they can
make up. The apologies after the first time and telling me it would
never happen again were a sick fucking joke”
8th
September at 6.49am
My
Email reply to my son
“Dr
**** did not reply at all. Like most professionals in this country
they bury their heads under the sand or ignore you till you have
exhausted yourself or they bare face lie in self protection mode.
That is why every one gets away with it. The last time I had to
write to the Dr was over youngest and I had attached his horrific
self harming photographs, I went ballistic at him and within half an
hour he was on the phone to me. But again did nothing. Last year
with youngest, he slashed his wrists and I had a call from a
psychiatrist asking me where he was as he had attended A & E at
but after waiting many hours to be seen he had walked out. I gave the
psych Gheels outreach number, after talking to Gheel the psych told
me that he was happy enough that youngest would be given support by
Gheel as that is what he had been told. I told him Gheels history re
lack of support and I asked him "so you are telling me
officially that youngest is not a danger to himself" he said he
could not say that as he had "not seen him in person" That
sorry tale had me write a letter to Sheila Marshall Manager
Disability Services. I got no reply, I sent it to the CEO of the HSE
and got a nonsensical reply and I also took it to the Garda who were
not even interested at first but the bloke at the desk realised he
recognised me (he had kicked youngests bed door down here) so he sent
a couple of Garda to youngests address to check on his welfare. My
whole point is no one cares except when it comes to protecting their
pay packet, they do not care about people. I was lucky that Garda K
was so nice, they must have had a quiet night to have rang Gheel,
they are not all like that so it is urgent that you have what the
advocate said on his letter, an Independent person who has nothing
but your best interests at heart. You should officially have a
"support Plan" in Gheels office, which is what Gheel have
to give the HSE for funding, you have no idea what is written on it
but it is your legal right to see it. They could be writing anything
they like in it just to get money from the HSE, if I were you that
would be the first thing I would be asking them for, it should tell
you a clear story of what the HSE is paying them to support you and
should have dates and comments on whenever they support you but I
asked them since 2009 for my copy of a Family Support Plan and got
Jack so they obviously had something to hide as not even a Sien Fein
TD could get it out of them. My point is that nothing will change
until you have that Independent Advocate.
8th
September text from my son at 8.07am
“
Emailed
you my PCP drafts from 2013. Went through my emails with Paul and
found two sets of them. Thought you might be interested in them”
8th
September text from my son at 9.01am
“
Those
were issues with Darragh and the estate agents maintenance guy. As
I've said before the meds are just a symptom of the problem. The
problem is that Peter and Darragh Byrne are abusive dictators and
control freaks and should not be working for Gheel, like I said, they
won't be able to dodge the fact that I went through withdrawal 3
times within a month because I went to get help outside of Gheel”
8th
September text from ME to my son at 9.13am
“if
you can, try write list of your complaints for when social worker is
back cause I'm sure all Gheel will focus on will be their concern of
your safety re meds. Add you had no bin sorted for 6 months so
rubbish piled high in your flat, that's health, safety and hygiene
issue. Add fridge freezer not working so you could not buy fresh food
and store it hygienically. It's not just the meds issue even tho I
know it's your primary concern.
8th
September text from ME to my son at 10.02am
“
I
know and now it's in the open too. Just hope that social worker
actually listens to you when she gets back”
10th
September text from my son at 08.00am
“Sleep
pattern is now so fucked up I only got 1 hour and 45mins of sleep
last night. And Anne O'Loughlin isn't back for 4 days”
10th
September text from my son at 08.03am
“Yes.
Meant to be 4 days worth but I added some coconut rum to today's
Tesco order just in case Gheel fuck me over so I have a chance at
sleeping on Sunday night”
10th
September text from my son at 08.05am
“Sleeping
pills only make me hallucinate”
10th
September text from my son at 08.06am
“
Nope.
I had a prescription of Ambien after I moved and managed to go
through the whole pack in a few hours with no effect”
I
went to work, my son was texting me non stop all morning, I was in a
meeting and had no access to my phone.
10th
September text from my son at 12.03pm
“Just
my luck. Wasted €40 on alcohol to help me sleep on the same day
Gheel decide to drop off (all of) my meds before 11am for the first
time since this kicked off”
10th
September text from my son at 5.41pm
“What
do you think are the chances of serious legal action against Darragh
and Peter Byrne for what they've done to me?”
10th
September text from ME to my son at 6.55pm
“The
honest answer re Gheel is I don't know, you don't know what is being
said behind the scenes. Something is going on tho if their clinical
team said no to all your meds in one day then turn about and deliver
them all in one day or was it for 4 days, your first text today said
all in one day. Have they tried to contact you at all outside of med
delivery”
12th
September text from ME to my son at 6.30pm
“ I'm back now. Did you get a decent sleep yet”
13th
September text from my son at 1.37pm “
Technically withdrawal but this one is Dr **** fault for not paying
attention”
14th
September text from my son at 10.15am
“Just
had a text from the Outreach number asking to hand me my meds as it's
raining. Replied with this: They are in sealed plastic packets so it
doesn't matter how wet it is outside. I do not want to see any of
you”
14th
September text from ME to my son at 11.17am
“
Just
hope they don't with hold them in case they get wet, suppose they
want to see you in person to either fill in their tick box or to tell
you something”
15th
September text from my son at 9.19am
“
Are
you busy? Got a letter addressed to “Gheel Autism”
15th
September text from ME to my son at 10.22am
“
Give
me call. Am in work but can talk for min”
15th
September text from my son at 9.45am
“Emailed
Anne O'Loughlin asking why no-one has been in touch yet. Texted
Outreach number and Paul has offered to pick up the letter and
collect my parcel”
15th
September at 10.47am. My son forwarded me the email he sent to
Annem.oloughlin@hse.ie
“To:
Anne O'Loughlin <annem.oloughlin@hse.ie> “You
said you'd be in contact from the 14th onwards. I know the email I
sent you was long but I'm a bit worried about not having anyone
contact me yet. This has been going on since August the 12th and I'm
feeling completely helpless. I've got more to add: In the two years
I've lived under Gheel I'd (previously) only gone through withdrawal
twice. The first time was when I came off (daily) Lyrica at the end
of 2013. It was bad but not particularly horrible, I just felt the
room spinning around me constantly for a short while. The second time
I went through withdrawal was earlier this year when I switched from
taking meds three times per week back to taking them twice weekly,
the Xanax complicated things so I asked for it to be dropped from my
prescription and stopped taking it. This withdrawal was worse and
lasted weeks but, just like the Lyrica, it was a result of me
deciding to come off a medication that
I had built up a tolerance to. Then, in August, I went through
Benzodiazepine withdrawal three
times between
the 16th and the 31st. All caused by
Gheel. There is absolutely no way they can play silly buggers over
this. There's no excuse they can make up. The apologies after the
first time and telling me it would "never happen again"
were a sick joke. Peter Byrne and his son Darragh have no business
having power over anyone”
“Dear
Mr. X, I wish to inform you
that I am assessing your allegation of carer abuse by Gheel Autism
Services. I will be in contact with you the week of 14th September
2015 as I am on annual leave”
18th
September at 10.59am
My
email to my son
“Advocate
is out of the office until 28th September. I will get find that
woman's number and ring her myself”
18th
September at 11.39am
My
email to my son
“Anne
O' Loughlin is based in St Mary's Hospital Phoenix Park. She is not
in her office but reception got me to leave her a voice mail. I said
that you were expecting contact from her this week and that she has
all your details to do so and also left my name and number. She also
deals with Elder Abuse so I can only presume she is a very busy woman
but should have contacted you when she said she would. I
am expecting my friend to ring me today so I will ask her if she
knows anyone who can chase this up as advocate is on holiday for next
ten days”
18th
September at 11.41am
Email
from my son
“Okay.
She's just busy then. That's fine. I'm glad to know this isn't being
swept under the carpet”
“
Sorry.
Passed out and got some sleep but I'm still wrecked. Will check out
your email later”
18th
September at 2.51pm
Email
from my son
“I'm
not speaking to a stranger to try to get them to advocate on my
behalf”
18th
September at 6.52pm
My
email to my son “You
don't have to speak to them, you can email them or I can fill them in
for you and they can take it from there. The point of it is having
someone who is independent of Gheel with no other agenda except
making sure your rights are being adhered to. These people will know
the in's and out's of the law but it's up to you”
My
friend rang, she said “if Gheel cannot provide supports and
services, an agency who can needs to be found for him”
21st
September at 11.52am
Text
from my son “Pearl
asked me to text her acknowledging that I had my meds when she left
them outside today. That's new”
21st
September
My
text to my son 12.01pm “That's
what they should have done all along. They are just doing things by
the book now. Am surprised your not being asked to sign for them”
21st
September at 11.54am
Text
from my son “ Feeling
extremely depressed after taking the clonazepam. I usually have
euphoria for an hour before that kicks in but this time it was within
55 minutes of taking them”
21st
September at 12.54pm
My
text to my son “All
you can do is ride it out. Put music on to distract thoughts away”
21st
September at 11.56amText
from my son
“Still
no response from the HSE. This was all a waste of time”
21st
September at 12.57pmMy
text to my son “It
is not. That woman told you Gheel was being investigated so takes
while for them to get all correspondence back but I am surprised she
aint contacted you directly. No reply re my voice mail either”
21st
September at 1pmMy
text to my son “Do
you want me to ring the advocacy service to explain situation and see
if they can chase up Anne O' Loughlin cause advocate not back till
28th”
21st
September at 1.01pm.From
my son “If
you're busy then don't bother. I'm going to bed. I just wish I could
just sleep forever”
21st
September at 1.03pmMy
text to my son
“I'll
ring them and see what they advise”
21st
September at 7.24pmMy
email to my son
“I
rang the Advocacy Service and explained your situation and told them
about Gheel, The GP, the HSE and their non response to you despite
telling you they would contact you last week. It can take up to 3
days for them to have an Advocate contact you and I asked that it be
on Thursday afternoon (so you have your meds and don't feel so
anxious) I said that you would prefer email contact first and gave
them your email addy, they need to confirm with you what I told them
is true. They are totally independent of the HSE etc and will only
listen to you and you alone and make sure that your legal and Human
rights are being observed and if they are not, then they will fight
your corner”
21st
September at 9.09pm
My
email to my son
“You
do not need the Professor to prescribe anything, Consultant Psych Dr
Canning in 2010 said the family doctor could manage your anti anxiety
meds himself and that it was not a mental health issue anyway. Gheel
sat round that conference table back then and promised the earth,
moon and stars as far as help, supports and services and did Jack
shit. They are all useless”
24th
September at 9.12am
Text
from my son
“Just
had Paul at the door. Handed me an envelope with only 3 days worth of
meds again. Fourth time I'm going to have to go through withdrawal”
24th
September at 10.15am
Text
from ME to my son
“You
will get the advocate email today so reply with list of all wrong
doings and they will help”
24th
September at 1.58pm
Text
from my son
“
No
contact. Fuck them”
24th
September
Text
from my son at 2.01pm
“It's
well past afternoon. No contact. They're as useless as everyone else”
24th
September
Text
from my son at 2.01pm
“I'll
stop texting you now so you can work. Sorry for worrying you with my
drama”
24th
September
Text
from ME to my son at 3.01pm
“It's
not drama. I know they will email you this afternoon”
24th
September
Text
from my son at 4.28pm
“Well
it's half 5 and no contact. Fuck them.
24th
September at 9.42pm
My
email to my friend
“Hi,
Just
a quick update. I had a call from Disability Section, Longford today
in work, looking for youngests address as he's moved and they are
“reviewing” his Disability claim. I asked the woman if she had
found a new cure for Autism and serious mental health problems and
that I did not have any address or phone number for him but I would
ring my other son and see if he had any info. Eldest texted me the
info. The woman rang me back and I gave her youngests contact
numbers. Eldest then tells me at 5.30pm by text that he is drunk on
apple vodka and says the Advocate service did not email him as they
told him they would do so he may as well drink the rest of his vodka
and hoped he had the balls to hang himself with some electrical cable
because he has done this for 9 years and has no future and wants this
over. I did not mention any of this in my reply texts to him and he
came round and texted me about music and sent me some links via
youtube and I've emailed him a couple of times tonight so he seems to
have calmed down now. He will have some bloody hangover in the
morning”
26th
September
Text
from my son at 7.15am
“No
contact from anyone on Thursday. None yesterday. Still no word from
the HSE. I'm invisible”
26th
September
Text
from ME to my son at 8.29am
“Ok,
running for bus. Make bullet point list of all times of late drop
off's re meds and when they told you to take a break from them so
it's quick to read when you email reply to advocate”
26th
September at 8.09pm
Email
from my son
“No
contact from anyone”
26th
September at 8.26pm
My
email to my son
“Want to confirm
something with you, when Paul gave you the meds on Thursday, did he
say why there was only 3 days worth or was the envelope sealed and
you only found out when you opened it”
26th
September at 8.28pm
Email
from my son
“Envelope
was sealed so didn't find out how much was in it until I was sitting
at my desk”
26th
September at 8.31pm
My
email to my son
“OK.
Bloody disgraceful they are. Did
you do any bullet point list yet? Forgot to tell you that most
of the Advocates have been thru similar problems which is why they
are now independent Advocates helping others get their "rights"
so do not give up on them just yet”
26th
September at 8.46pm
My
email to my son “OK.
I just know from experience that people do not want to read reams of
stuff, it's too much for them to decipher into a report. I
know your main complaint is the late deliveries, the withholding of
meds, the telling you to take a break from your meds by "lay
people" but they will have a counter claim as to why they did so
(slippery gits they are) The fact you had no bin for 6 months is a
health and safety issue, the broken down fridge/freezer is too. The
supports and services they are getting paid massive bucks for is
obviously not happening as your situation has not changed and you
have not had any diagnostic assessment, review or future planning
means they have neglected their duty of care for your health and
welfare”
27th
September
Text
from my son at 8.37am
“
No
point. Everyone at Gheel deserves to hang. This is the fourth time
now”
28th
September
Text
from my son at 11.02am
“
Got
4 days worth of meds instead of 3 from James 10 minutes ago with no
explanation for the missing dose from last week”
28th
September at 3.34pm
My
email to my son
“Back
now but heading out to other job at 4.30pm. Just spoken to Advocacy
Service, woman has no idea why no one contacted you but she is going
to find out, agrees that it may be spelling mistake”
29th
September at 12.13pm
Email
from my son
“Still
nothing from HSE or advocate. I don't think I have ever felt this
fucking miserable”
29th
September at 4.43pm
My
email to my son
“The
number Anne O Laughlin gave you is now the number of an Aishleen
someone, I have left yet another voicemail for them to contact you as
it is now 29th September and you were told by Anne O Loughlin that
she would contact you week of 14th September and she didn't and nor
has she replied to your consequent emails”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 8.52am
“Nothing
from advocate. Nothing from HSE”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 8.54am
“And
how fucking long ago did they say that? Everyone you've put me in
touch with has been useless”
I
rang the Advocacy service for the third time and spoke to a lovely
woman called R. R apologised and said it was unusual that no one had
contacted “son” I had to explain the full situation yet again and
warned R that he may be rude to her.
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 9.59am
“Just
had a phone call from R. Not happy with her. She's too mild and wants
to sit down and chat with Gheel to “sort things out” I made it
clear “I want Peter and Darragh Byrne in a cell. She didn't give
two fucks”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 10.06am
“I've
got to wait a few weeks because they're swamped. I snapped at her and
called her politically correct for being so passive about Gheel. She
admitted she knew Darragh and had worked with Gheel before. I wish I
was making this up”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 10.41am
“Then
I want nothing to do with these cunts. Everyone you've put me in
touch with hasn't given a fuck about what Gheel are still doing to
me. Fuck all of them”
2nd
October at 10.26am
My
email to my son
“Advocacy
are ringing you now”
2nd
October
MY
text to my son at 11.04am “ She
makes the referrals, that's all. She prob just thought that would be
a good 1st
step but now she knows your answer so wont do that. She just answers
the phone and offers suggestions. She wont be the advocate”
R
from the Advocacy Service rang me to say “sorry, he's
misinterpreted me telling him I've previously worked as an advocate
for a client of Gheels, he thinks I've worked for Gheel”
2nd
October
MY
text to my son at 11.39am
“
It
wont be R as she passes referral on. She knows Gheel because she was
an advocate for a client of theirs, she has never worked for Gheel. A
letter and email will be sent to you but their job is not to put
Gheel staff in jail, they will be your voice re Gheel and HSE”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 6.13pm
“
Had
an email from an advocate. Replied telling him to go fuck himself”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 6.17pm
“The
bitch on the phone kept suggesting Gheel were only looking out for me
in with holding my prescription”
2nd
October
Text
from my son at 6.17pm
“
Fuck
all of them”
2nd
October
MY
text to my son at 7.15pm
“That
is not nice at all. They only want to help”
2nd
October
MY
text to my son at 7.24pm
“She
told me your human rights need to be protected. Think you're going to
need a solicitor but that takes money”
7th
October
Text
from my son at 1.15pm
“
Professionals
are numb to their patients. We're just another case to prescribe shit
medication to. Fuck them all”
7th
October
Text
from my son at 1.15pm
“Brother
is on an anti-psychotics for fuck sake”
7th
October
Text
from my son at 1.16pm
“
Nope.
No reply from scum advocates”
7th
October
Text
from ME to my son at 1.17pm
“They
aint scum, they don't even get paid, do it cos they been in same or
similar boat and want to help others”
7th
October
Text
from my son at 1.18pm
“Advocates
have dealt with Gheel before. Says to me they'll listen to their
bullshit about protecting me”
7th
October
Text
from ME to my son at 1.21pm
“
We
don't know outcome of that case woman was on. All I know is they have
to follow certain protocol and find a solution. Gheel will get their
comeuppance one day”
7th
October
Text
from my son at 1.22pm
“
They'll
get no such thing. They're above the law. Made me go through
withdrawal 4 times out of spite”
7th
October
Text
from ME to my son at 2.14pm
“
Only
way you can get thru this is to educate yourself on law and Human
Rights and fight for them cos no other will do it for you in this
country. Did advocate reply to your go fuck yourself email”
I
started night classes in Dublin Business School doing Law.
7th
October
Text
from my son at 6.40pm
“Had
an email from the advocate assigned to me. Did you have anything to
do with that?
7th
October
Text
from ME to my son st 8.53pm
“I'd
nothing to do with that at all. Last time I spoke to them was when
you spoke to the woman R”
8th
October
Text
from my son at 2.16pm
“
As
opposed to only giving me 3 days worth of meds today, Gheel have
apparently decided not to give me anything at all”
8th
October
Text
from ME to my son at 2.17pm
“Text
them, they might be short staffed, terrible flu going around”
8th
October
Text
from my son at 2.18pm
“I
will not beg for my own prescription. I will not ask them to do what
they're paid to do”
8th
October
Text
from ME to my son at 2.18pm
“Ok,
shall I text them then”
8th
October
Text
from my son at 2.20pm
“If
you want but I have nothing to say to them”
8th
October
Text
from ME to Gheel Outreach 2.25pm
“
My
son has not received his prescribed medication today which is
normally delivered to him by now. He is as you may be aware very
anxious in case he does not receive them. Please text him and give
him a time frame of when his medication due today will be with him”
8th
October
Text
from Gheel to me at 2.46pm
“ Hello
Anne.. medication will be dropped into him in around 5 minutes.
Thanks”
8th
October
Text
from son to me at 2.50pm
“James
just handed them to me. He was standing outside before the Outreach
sent me this text: Hey- James will be dropping your medication into
you in around 5 minutes. Thanks”
8th
October
Text
from ME to son at 3.50pm
“As
long as you've got them”
8th
October
Text
from son at 5.33pm
“Took
meds half an hour ago and they're kicking in hard already. Can take
up to 4 hours to reach peak plasma levels sometimes. Thanks for the
help with Gheel”
8th
October
Text
from ME to son at 6.39pm
“No
bother. Just in from work”
8th
October at 9.30pm
My
Email to N the Advocate
“Dear,
my eldest has still not heard from anyone at all re his complaint of
Carer Abuse which he told both you and I about. I have rang Anne
O'Loughlin, the person who was investigating this and she told my son
by email that she would be in touch with him week of 14th September
but she did not do so. I have rang her twice twice leaving voice
mails and my son still did not get any reply either or from his own
email to her. Can you please advise me who he can contact as he has
no options left. Thank you in advance”
Reply
from the Advocate
“Dear
Anne, he needs to make contact with her again and copy
in socialcare@hse.ie for
the attention of Pat Healy National Director of Social Care. The
phone number for Pat’s office is (01) 6352308. The person
there is Daire Scanlon. Best regards.”
9th
October
Text
from son to me at 7.31am
“Advocatesaid
I need to phone the Director of Social care, Pat Healy, even though
I've him told I'm terrified of calling anyone. Can someone else do it
on my behalf”
9th
October
Text
from ME to son at 8.37am
“
On
my email he said email Anne O'Loughlin and cc it to that man. One
thing you cannot do is be rude or angry in any email, they will not
deal with you at all if you are. This is when the advocate would have
been very useful. I can email him or phone him but he will want to
hear about it from the horses mouth. As it's Friday I doubt you will
hear from him today. I've got to get bus but I'll be in all night.
Let me know if you want me to email or ring him, it will be his
assistant who answers the phone”
9th
October
Text
from ME to son at 9.07am
“
I've
emailed Anne O'Loughlin and sent it to Pat Healy and HSE too”
9th
October
Text
from son at 3.54pm
“
Sorry
for texting during work hours. Just drink and lonely on the verge of
tears. Gonna listen to some Deafheaven”
9th
October
Text
from son at 4.47pm
“Thanks
for all your efforts towards helping me but we both know this, you
will be there for my cremation. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to
end like this. I was born like this”
9th
October
Text
from son at 5.06pm
“I'm
sorry. Not going to die yet. Plan to though. Shame you only care when
you assume I'm dead. Just like “my brother” said. It's all about
your own melodrama”
9th
October
Text
from son at 5.29pm
“
My
suicide ideation has been going on since 2005. You decided to leave
me with a broken home. Google the statistics on mental health
regarding single parent households. But you're a pathological
Narcissist who can admit no wrong”
9th
October
Text
from ME to son at 6.03pm
“
WTF
is going on. Just out of work to all these texts. I'll have to call
the Garda with you saying this”
9th
October
Text
from son at 6.04pm
“You
will bury me. Don't pretend you care. You started this a decade ago.
I will rue you if you feign mourning of me”
9th
October
Text
from ME to son at 6.07pm
“You
don't know how wrong you are in all you just said but nothing I say
or do will ever change your opinion of me”
9th
October
Text
from son to me 6.12pm
“
Fuck
you. From Outreach “Hi,
Pearl here. I received a text from your Mam, she's concerned about
you. Are you ok? Anything I can help with?
9th
October
Text
from son to me at 6.33pm
“And
now I've just sent Pearl everything I sent to my advocate. Too drunk
to have any sense. Thanks a fucking lot”
9th
October
Text
from son to me 6.33pm
“Darragh
will have everything in no time”
9th
October
Text
from ME to Gheel Outreach 7.06pm
“
My
son needs to be checked on as per his texts to me. He has texted me
that he plans to kill himself”
9th
October
Text
from son to me at 7.11pm
“And
now I have Pearl texting me about how Darragh is innocent. Fuck you”
9th
October
Text
from ME to Gheel Outreach Pearl at 8.20pm
“
Please
note this text down on record. I texted you that my son planned to
kill himself. He accidentally sent you all he's sent his independent
advocate re Gheel. My son claims that you are texting him about
“Darraghs innocence” do you seriously think that is appropriate
or professional given the huge stress and anxiety and plans of
suicide he has declared. I truly hope you have not texted him with
what he has just told me you have. I'm ringing the Garda as I believe
if it's true you have made things much worse. Darragh Byrne is an
adult who can defend himself with the correct authorities”
“Dear
Anne O'Loughlin, I am emailing you on behalf of my son. You emailed
my son on September 4th “Dear
Mr. I wish to inform you that I am assessing your allegation of
carer abuse by Gheel Autism Services. I will be in contact with you
the week of 14th September
2015 as I am on annual leave”
You
did not contact him despite him emailing you. I left two voice mails
on the telephone number you provided him with as he believes he is
now invisible to you all. You stated to him by email
“Please
be assured I will take your allegation seriously and carry out a
comprehensive assessment of this allegation”which
surely cannot be done without talking to HIM about his “allegations”
Would
you now contact my son directly as you stated to him you would do.
My
son is a hugely intelligent man who has no learning or mental
disability, he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and Agoraphobia
by a UK Autism expert in 2008. cc Pat Healy National
Director of Social Care / Tony O'Brien CEO of HSE”
From
my son to me
“Your
email seems fine but it's too mild. I'd be infinitely more aggressive
and fucking vicious with these people after everything that has been
done to me (and Gheel are STILL DOING TO ME AND GETTING AWAY
WITH IT.) They are all jobsworths who get paid criminal amounts
of money to do fuck-all while I lie in bed all day wanting to die. I
am turning into an alcoholic. I need to be numb and escape
from this fucking misery, that's why I wanted a high-dose Lyrica
prescription twice weekly but it looks like that causes rapid
tolerance build-up so I need to switch to taking it just once a week”
Email
reply from Socialcare@hse.ie
“Dear
Ms. I
wish to acknowledge receipt of your email on behalf of Pat Healy and
Mr. Tony O’Brien, DG. I note that your email is addressed to Ms.
Anne O’Loughlin who is following up on issues raised by “advocate
on behalf of your son but it does not appear that your email has been
sent to Ms. O’ Loughlin. I will arrange to have your email sent to
Ms. O’Loughlin for her attention and response. Regards,
My
reply to Daire
“Dear
Daire, Thank you for your reply. I did send the email to Anne
O'Loughlin and was advised to cc it to Pat Healy too because no one
has contacted my son at all and he is in a desperate state asking for
help and no one is responding to that plea for help in this matter. I
appreciate your reply”
12th
October
Email
from disability.socialcare@hse.ie
“Dear
Ms. Further to your below communication concerning your son; please
note that Ms. O’Loughlin is currently on leave, not due to return
until after 16th October 2015; her email is
unmonitored meaning that both you and “son” will not receive
communication until after this date. Anne, please feel free to revert
to this office should communication not be established upon Ms.
O’Loughlin’s return. Regards, Office of the
Chief Officer CHO Dublin North City & County
12th
October
My
email to my friend
“Hi,
Hope all is good with you. I've stopped contact with my son
since Friday evening. I was at my job and never have my phone on me,
I wear latex gloves when there. When I was leaving I took my phone
out of my pocket and had numerous texts from him, firstly moaning
about being a recluse and then a I'm sorry but thank you for all your
efforts with Gheel but he is going to kill himself, I replied that I
was sending the Garda to help him, he quickly replied that he is not
going to die yet but he plans to. I texted Gheel Outreach and asked
them to go check on him. Then many texts followed from him telling me
exactly what he thought of me
“My suicide ideation has been going on since 2005. You decided to
leave me with a broken home. Google the statistics on mental health
regarding single parent households. But you're a pathological
Narcissist who can admit no wrong” “When I briefly talked to Dad
at least he feigned kindness, He cut me off after a few emails. I
cried my eyes out. I've never had a father, I just wanted a childhood
and you couldn't even give me that” “ You will bury me. Don't
pretend you care. You started this a decade ago. I will rue you if
you feign mourning of me”
There
was much more but the above is the short version. He then told me
where to go because he got a text from Pearl from Gheel asking him if
he was ok and he “accidentally” forwarded her all his complaint
about Gheel he'd sent to his advocate and was worried sick “because
Darragh would see it all” and that's apparently all my fault he did
this. Another text he sent me said Pearl told him that Darragh was
“innocent” so I told her that was unprofessional and not
appropriate and I was calling the Garda as I believed she had made
things much worse for him given the state he was in. She asked if she
could call me and denied saying any such thing to my son. She asked
me if I would talk to Darragh when she passed all this on to him re
my son, I said not a chance in hell and if I saw him I would punch
the face off him. She said she would text me on Saturday and let me
know my son was ok but she did not, I am not even surprised. Whilst
I was at work on Saturday, my son sent me a picture message but I
don't have a smart phone so I could not access it, I went to pieces,
I could only think it would be something bad he'd done to himself
that he wanted me to see. I accessed it when I got home but still
have no idea what the picture was but there was a text message
attached and it was just about rock concerts he had gone to and
wanted to go to. I did not reply. He takes something from my mind
just by the way he is towards me, I cannot remember all the
conversation with that Pearl girl except she's always found my son to
be a gent, I said “well your very lucky then aren't you as you do
not get to see the real him” she also said “It's good to get
you're side of the story” what bloody story, I only deal in facts
not stories or fiction. I was so demented (again) that I put out a
bag for a charity collection and instead of the bag being full of
shoes and duvets I mistakenly put out all my summer clothes I had
washed and bagged up for storing over the winter so I've bugger all
clothes left now. I cannot even remember the name of the charity on
the sticker I put on the bag. This morning I've had 2 emails, one
from Anne O'Loughlin who was supposed to be dealing with my son
directly, she is on holiday (again) has no access to emails and will
be back on 19/10 and another from Disability Social Care stating the
same thing but I'm not going to forward them to my son, if he's man
enough to buy three bottles of vodka and pour them down his throat
and send me all that crap then he's man enough to fight his own damn
corner as I have had my fill of him. Take care”
Reply
from my friend
“Anne.
That was awful. Again you have done absolute everything that you
could possibly do for him. I'm
so sorry. Hope you can keep your mind without too much anxiety and
thinking of him”
My
son forwarded me an email he received from Annem.oloughlin@hse.ie
Progression on your case
“Dear
X, I wish to apologise for the lack of communication with you and the
distress this has caused to you. I have limited access to my computer
since 21st September 2015 when I took up my new
position as Principal Social Worker, Safeguarding and Protection Team
Community Healthcare Organisation Area 9 Dublin North City and
County. I have also been on annual leave from 7th-16th October.
I have discussed your situation at a meeting with Gheel Autism
Services CEO Mr. Peter Byrne and a number of his staff from the
Outreach Team and with the Disability Manager Carol Doolan. I have
also spoken to Dr. ****, your GP over the phone. At another meeting
on 1stOctober at Gheel Services with Mr. Peter
Byrne and Mr. Darragh Byrne, I proposed a solution to the current
problem regarding the prescription, dispensing and delivery of your
medication. Mr. Peter Byrne, Gheel Services agreed to contact Prof.
Fitzgerald about your request for dispensing of the medication on a
weekly basis. The prescription of your medication will still continue
to be by Prof. Fitzgerald. Your GP wishes this to continue and he is
responsible for transcribing the prescription to the medical card
prescription only. I contacted the HSE in Dublin North Central to try
to arrange that another organisation deliver the medication on a
weekly basis i.e. on a Monday, so that Gheel Services would no longer
be involved in the delivery/courier of your prescribed medication. If
this is not feasible I am trying to source a pharmacy that can
deliver medication or organise that another service deliver to you
weekly. I will also need to source the funding required for this
task. I hope to have a decision on this by Friday 23rd October
and will communicate with you on the future plan to deliver your
medication and the schedule around this. Yours sincerely. Anne O’
Loughlin”
“Dear
Anne O'Loughlin, Thank you so much for looking into this. I hope he
will now feel this is a better option for him and give him back some
control, independence and dignity. I appreciate your time”
My
email to my son
“Are
you happy with the response you got from Anne O' Loughlin. Did she
speak to you personally before she did her “investigation” Do not
come back at me with abuse, only answers because I've had a gut full
of that”
My
friend said “That was a strange response from the 'safeguarding
and protection team”
20th
October
My
email to my friend
“Hi,
Strange does not even cover it. She as far as I know didn't even talk
to my son, she just had a couple of angry emails from him. I just
hope he went ahead with the advocate service but you know what he's
like. As for Dr, lazy bastard that he is, wait till I see him, he has
met my son twice since 2009 so he can hardly discuss my son as his
patient with any bugger. My son detests Prof Fitz (who does he not
detest by this stage) so I assume he'll be on a paid by the HSE
retainer for Gheel. The meds my son's on can easily be prescribed by
Dr but he is so lazy and did not even reply to my last email to him.
Not a squeak out of son re Anne O'Loughlin's email, I know he will
just see it as a cover up as he has repeatedly told me. It's all the
same old crap from them all as always”
22nd
October
My
email to my friend
“Hi,
my son has just started texting me tonight which is a good thing. He
said Anne O'Loughlin did not speak to him at all so I need to put a
strong letter of complaint together for him about all this. Think I
need to sleep on it first tho”
My
email to my son
“That's
the same email I got but it went to my spam for some reason, lucky I
spotted it. I asked her previously by email how could she have any
investigation without talking to you in person, it's a complete
farce. Did the advocate contact you at all”
My
son's reply email
“No
contact from my advocate since I sent him this on the 7th of October:
“I'm
sorry for being a prick. I need help but I don't trust any of you,
especially after R said she knew Darragh Byrne and had dealt with him
before. I have been forced to go through withdrawal 4 times in a
short space of time because of Darragh and his father Peter Byrne.
They are despicable individuals. I want to hang myself from the
railings outside my flat so that some miserable bastard who works for
Gheel will find my corpse. That is the closest I will get to revenge
against them, as all you people do is paperwork. Darragh and Peter
Byrne belong in a cell, but R made it clear she doesn't care about
that” The fact that Anne O'Laughlin didn't talk to me in person is
the least of the problems with her 'investigation.' I could could
pick apart her email paragraph by paragraph but what would be the
point at this stage?
My
reply to my son
“I'll
ring them tomorrow because I was told by them that a client receives
3 letters and one phone call before they give up on that person. They
did say a couple of weeks tho didn't they as they have long waiting
list so maybe they will still help. I know I am seen as a "trouble
maker" by all professionals because I never let them away with
anything, it is what they always state when you do not cower beneath
them. It's what they do to shake people off, there are many
journalists who try and get the HSE to take responsibility and say
sorry but they won't”
From
my son
“I
was assigned a Disability Advocate called J. C on the 2nd of October.
Tomorrow it will have been 3 weeks since I first received any contact
from him (I promptly told him to fuck off, I apologised but
reiterated that I had no reason to trust them so I've heard nothing
from them since.)”
My
email to info@advocacy.ie on my son's behalf
“Dear
Sir/Madam, Can you please read this email and then advise me how this
should proceed as my son needs your help. You have all his contact
details from my previous conversations. On
21stSeptember
I rang your Advocacy Service and spoke to a lady called L, I
explained all that my son had told me re Carer Abuse and abuse of
power by Gheel Autism Service who are supposed to provide my son with
supports and services. I told her that it took 6 months for Gheel to
provide my son with bins so his rubbish was piled up inside his
basement flat all that time. I told her that my son was told by the
Manager of the Outreach Service (who also happens to be the CEO of
Gheel's son) that if my son did not engage with them they would use
the key they hold to enter his premises uninvited, my son has
Aspergers Syndrome and has a very high IQ but he also has agoraphobia
since 2006. I told L about Gheel making late deliveries of my son's
medication which put my son into immediate withdrawal as has happened
now on at least five occasions. I told L that the Manager of the
Outreach Service told my son via one of his colleagues that they
thought my son should “have a break from meds” not one of them is
medically trained or qualified to make that call but they should be
trained in knowing the impact this would have had on my son as he
depends on this medication to alleviate his huge anxiety levels which
is the biggest factor in anyone who has Aspergers Syndrome, which
they should know as an Autism Service. At this point my son decided
he needed outside help and went to the family GP, Dr ****, this was
an enormous task my son undertook as he was desperate that Gheel no
longer interfere with his medication, Dr **** refused to get involved
despite being my son's GP since 2009, he told my son to contact the
CEO of Gheel himself and tell him not to interfere with his
medication. At this point my son described his relationship with
Gheel as akin to a dealer and a junkie. L told me she would email my
son on Thursday 24thSeptember
2015 but no email came. I need to explain that my son needs to psyche
himself up to deal with strangers so it was a disappointment that no
email arrived. On 28th September
I rang the Advocacy number again and spoke to S this time, I
explained all the above again and she said she would find out why the
message was not passed on for someone to contact my son. On
2nd October
2015 I rang the Advocacy number again and spoke to a lady called R
who said she would ring my son today and she did but he was angered
when he was told by her that she had worked with Gheel before and
knew the Outreach Manager Darragh Byrne. R rang me and I explained
that my son had taken her words out of context as he thought R had
previously worked for Gheel. On 2nd of October 2015 my son was
assigned a Disability Advocate called J. C but he was very rude by
email out of sheer frustration and anger and he then apologised for
this rudeness. On 7thOctober
2015 my son sent J C an email“I'm
sorry for being a prick. I need help but I don't trust any of you,
especially after R said she knew Darragh Byrne and had dealt with him
before. I have been forced to go through withdrawal 4 times in a
short space of time because of Darragh and his father Peter Byrne.
They are despicable individuals. I want to hang myself from the
railings outside my flat so that some miserable bastard who works for
Gheel will find my corpse. That is the closest I will get to revenge
against them, as all you people do is paperwork. Darragh and Peter
Byrne belong in a cell, but R made it clear she doesn't care about
that”
He
had no reply from J.C. I completely understand that you all deserve
respect and no abuse from anyone but my son is in a unique and
desperate situation and has no one in his life at all and it has been
this way since 2006 when I personally started contacting everyone I
could think of to get him the supports and services he was entitled
to but he did not receive but the HSE were paying agencies to do so.
He is not living any life at all and is only 23 years old.The
latest update re all of this is that I contacted an advocate who sent
a high priority report to
SocialCare@hse.ie
On the 4th September
2015 my son received this email from Anne O'Loughlin Social Work
Service“Dear
Mr. I wish to inform you that I am assessing your allegation of carer
abuse by Gheel Autism Services. I will be in contact with you the
week of 14th September
2015 as I am on annual leave. I have informed Mr. Peter Byrne CEO
Gheel Services of your allegation of ‘carer abuse’ by him and
some of his staff. Please be assured I will take your allegation
seriously and carry out a comprehensive assessment of this
allegation. In the meantime please e mail me of any additional
information you think would be helpful or any additional matters of
concern to you. Yours sincerely, Anne O’Loughlin”
Anne
O'Loughlin did not contact my son the week of 14th September. I
rang her myself on 18th September and left a voice mail asking
if she would contact him as he had expected to be contacted on the
14th, I gave both my son and my own contact details. She did not ring
him.
On
29th September I rang Anne O'Loughlin again after my son
declared he never felt so miserable in all his life and felt
invisible, I left another voice mail asking again that she contact
him and explained that he was now desperate. My son received no
contact from her. On
9th October 2015 I emailed Anne O'Loughlin myself.No
reply was received but on 19thOctober
2015, my son and I both received this email from Anne O'Loughlin“ Dear,
I wish to apologise for the lack of communication with you and the
distress this has caused to you. I have limited access to my computer
since 21st September
2015 when I took up my new position as Principal Social Worker,
Safeguarding and Protection Team Community Healthcare Organisation
Area 9 Dublin North City and County. I have also been on annual leave
from 7th-16th October.
I have discussed your situation at a meeting with Gheel Autism
Services CEO Mr. Peter Byrne and a number of his staff from the
Outreach Team and with the Disability Manager Carol Doolan. I have
also spoken to Dr ****, your GP over the phone. At another meeting on
1st October
at Gheel Services with Mr. Peter Byrne and Mr. Daragh Byrne, I
proposed a solution to the current problem regarding the
prescription, dispensing and delivery of your medication. Mr. Peter
Byrne, Gheel Services agreed to contact Prof. Fitzgerald about your
request for dispensing of the medication on a weekly basis. The
prescription of your medication will still continue to be by Prof.
Fitzgerald. Your GP Dr. **** wishes this to continue and he is
responsible for transcribing the prescription to the medical card
prescription only. I contacted the HSE in Dublin North Central to try
to arrange that another organisation deliver the medication on a
weekly basis i.e. on a Monday, so that Gheel Services would no longer
be involved in the delivery/courier of your prescribed medication. If
this is not feasible I am trying to source a pharmacy that can
deliver medication or organise that another service deliver to you
weekly. I will also need to source the funding required for this
task. I hope to have a decision on this by Friday 23rd October
and will communicate with you on the future plan to deliver your
medication and the schedule around this. Yours sincerely. Anne
O’ Loughlin"
Anne
O'Loughlin has completed her “comprehensive investigation” of my
son's allegations without even speaking to him, she did receive a
couple of emails from him but not even after I emailed her with this
“which
surely cannot be done without talking to HIM about his “allegations”
Would you now contact him directly as you stated to him you would do”
My
son needs an independent body in his life that can help him have some
quality of life, he has been let down by everyone to date, including
me, but I did contact and eventually berate everyone who failed him,
they all just ignored me since 2006 and the HSE and everyone employed
by them just ignore ordinary people until they crack up or run out of
any energy which happened to me but he needs help and he desperately
needs someone outside of Gheel and the HSE to talk for him and help
him. I have run out of people to contact, can you please do this for
him. He has no one at all. Yours sincerely”
My
email to my son
“I
woke up thinking about the email you sent to the advocate where you
told him you would hang yourself off the railings. You need to know
that there is a thing called "Duty of Care" that all
professionals have to adhere to and report if they are worried about
someone so if you can please stop writing this kind of thing. I will
speak to the Advocacy Service today and see what the story is to get
someone outside of the HSE to be your voice. I'll phone a solicitor
and find out how an investigation was held without anyone talking to
you”
My
son's reply to me
“There
was no investigation. Look up the definitions of inquiry and
investigation. Just type this into google: define: inquiry”
23rd
October
Email
from Advocacy.ie
Dear
Ms, Thanks
for your comprehensive email. As you rightly pointed out I am the
advocate who has been assigned to link in with “your son”. Please
be aware taking offence to his mails has not been the reason for the
delay in getting back to him, but rather that I was out on sick leave
last week and have been fully taken up with active cases since coming
back. I had explained to him in a previous mail that we operate a
waiting list and I've had to prioritise cases already open this past
week. Your mail is timely as I had pencilled in time today to come
back to him. So as to be clear about expectations, I will mail him
now this afternoon and I will be stating that I will be in a position
to open a case file and tart linking in with him the week after
next, if he is willing to work with me, as I am away next week on
leave. Sincerely, J”
My
reply to J
“Dear
J, Thank you so very much and I am sorry that you were sick. I hope
my son makes the most of this opportunity to work with you. Take
care”
My
son forwarded me the email he received from J, the advocate
“Hi,
I am mailing to say that I haven't forgotten about your enquiry. I
am sorry that it has taken me a couple of weeks to respond to you, I
was out on sick leave last week and have had to prioritise active
open cases this week. We received an update mail from your mother,
and I have responded to acknowledge her mail and make this clear
also. I am clear from your last mail that you do not trust services
and that you have no reason to trust us either. I realise that trust
has to be earned, and I would like to try to gain this, if you will
allow me to. Regarding Gheel, I also know Darragh &
Peter Byrne as I am sure most of my colleagues in this region do.
This though is in a professional advocacy capacity, and my way of
working with Gheel as an independent advocate does not differ to the
way of working with any of the many other services that I link in
with. Based on this if you will allow, I would be interested in
talking to you about the goals you would see us working on, and I
would also be interested in starting the process of forming an action
plan based on those goals with you. I am out of the office next week
on annual leave. I will be back Monday, November 2nd and if you are
willing I will follow up with you then around this, Sincerely, J”
Email
from my son
“All
of them knowing Darragh and Peter Byrne means they're as bad as Anne
O'Laughlin. I cannot trust them”
My
reply to my son
“I
read it differently, it tells me that there must be many complaints
about Gheel if people are contacting an Advocacy Service to talk for
them, especially if most of his colleagues know them too. I can only
say give him a go and see what happens, it's up to you but there is
no one else left in this country to contact. He has nothing to do
with the HSE which is a good thing”
From
my son
“I'm
not contacting him. I've already given up”
25th
October
I've
caught a bad virus. All quiet on the son front.
29th
October
Went
to work but got sent home at 2pm, still very sick. Son texted saying
no news and no prescription. I sent Gheel a text about it. Paul from
Gheel delivered them to son with a note of apology as he had “read
the roster wrong”
30th
October
Son
has problems with his bank card so his Tesco weekly shop could not be
sent to him. It took me ages trying to sort it out for him. Son was
going apeshit about a Gheel care worker asking him for all his bank
details including his password. I rang the bank twice and spoke to
Aaron and Vicky there. Son then demanded his “emergency”
prescription that he's supposed to get when he needs it.
I
feel stressed out of my box on top of being sick and a head cold and
a cough like a barking dog.
12.32pm
My
text to Gheel outreach phone
“Son
has to activate a new contactless bank card at the local ATM but
cannot do so as his meds have worn off due to high anxiety levels
this morning. He was sent a message from Darragh Byrne on the 21st
August “Prof
Fitzgerald has given us a script for extra meds that you can take
when you need it, for example, going to a gig, but it's completely up
to you whether you want them or not”
My
son wants to access these extra meds today so he can cope with going
outside to activate his bank card otherwise he will have no food
shopping that he orders weekly. Please contact him and let him know
if these extra meds will be delivered to him”
30th
October Email forwarded from my son that Gheel sent him
“Hi,
Paul here. Just thought I'd clarify, we help other service users to
talk to their banks. Procedure is that we are with them in person
when they call, the service user calls the bank and goes through the
identity confirmation process and then gives permission for staff to
speak on their behalf. We then speak but the service user stays
beside staff to give directions and answers. This protects your
personal information and gives you full access to what's going on.
Barry didn't quite clarify that, looking back at texts, he may have
assumed you knew process, hence him mentioning needing details and
permissions but not clarifying we would need to be in your presence
to do so. Hope that reassures you! Absolutely understand your
suspicions based on above texts but please be assured you can be
confident in our respect of your personal and financial security.
Hope you get it sorted! Let us know if you still have dramas. We
could see bout doing the phone support as outlined in this text or
organise taking you to the bank to sort and dropping you home.
Regards, Paul”
My
reply to my son
“They're
offer to take you to bank and drop you back might be best thing as it
could be sorted in minutes rather than hours”
From
my son
“I
have NOTHING to sedate me. The Lyrica is almost completely out of my
system and it's already a mild sedative compared to clonazepam. Where
the fuck is this 'emergency prescription' I can have 'whenever I need
it that Darragh tried to bribe me with to stop me going to the
police”
My
Reply to my son
“Do
you want me to text them asking for it to be delivered to you so you
can get to bank”
Me
to my son
“Ok
so you need a plan B. Focus on sorting the bank out, nothing else.
Only you can fix this as this could go on for a long time if you
don't. I'm going to ring bank again to find out why you were told you
would get a call back from Vicky when I was told she could not make
outgoing calls”
From
my son, a forwarded text he received from Gheel Outreach phone
“Yeah,
see what you mean, we shouldn't be needing those details unless we
are next to you and you need us to enter those details online. think
he was meaning if you wanting us to login online for you as an
option, but again that would be staff going on line but with you
along side him. He didn't clarify that with you, again I'd say he
assumed based on one other service user who gets us to do that online
with him. I'll remind all staff to ensure they are clearer about this
in future so as to not cause anger and distress, and not leave
themselves open to suspicion too as well as ensuring service users
are confident their financial security is assured. In fact, I'll
report to Darragh he needs to advise all staff to be careful in how
they say things and to clarify carefully so there is no
misunderstanding or distress caused. It's actually good you've
brought it this up in this way, makes sure we sharpen up our
communication and support process, especially with all our policies,
procedures and support practices being documented for HIQA inspecting
the support sector now. My apologies for this morning and I'll get
Darragh to have a word about it to all staff. I'll get him to pass
onto other managers and other teams to ensure they get it right too”
Me
to my son
“Just
spoke to guy called Aaron at the bank. Ring the bank, press 0 to by
pass the automation. Tell the person on the phone you have a problem
with your account and give them your bank details, then tell them you
need to speak to Aaron or Vicky and hold on the line until they are
free to talk to you, they both know you are going to do this so will
talk to you as soon as they are free from talking to anyone else,
they cannot make outward calls but are waiting for you to ring”
From
my son
“I
actually went to the bank with Paul as I was so sedated by the
8x2mg/16mg clonazepam that I was swaying while walking. I was texting
you as Paul was telling me all about them (HIQA) and Gheels current
trouble with them while we were driving back to my place”
I
emailed HIQA a very long email detailing everything that happened
since my son first contacted me about Gheel.
It's far too long to add here. Its just basically a time line of all
events and all who have been contacted by both myself and by my son.
I
was shocked when my eldest told me that a member of the Outreach
Team, “Patrick Kenny on August 17thhad
argued with him for 7 entire minutes on his doorstep about how much
medication he'd received on the 12th” even though Patrick Kenny was
wrong. How in gods name can an Autism Support Worker stand and argue
with a service user about anything. Are they not trained and what has
it got to do with him anyway, he was merely a delivery person on this
date. He is not a doctor or a psychiatrist.
On
October 30th
my eldest
had a problem with his bank card which he uses to buy his food
shopping online and he has his shopping delivered weekly. He sent a
text to the Outreach number at Gheel and Barry was at the other end
and requested my son's bank login details, including his password. My
eldest immediately texted me about it. I told him not to give anyone
his password as not even the bank would request this. When he
informed Barry that he would not provide these details the text reply
was “if
we were to ring them on your behalf, they'd likely still request
them... Perhaps best for you to try calling first, if you don't mind”
The
whole point that my son needs this Outreach service is for them to
step in and provide a support
service for things he finds uncomfortable to do himself which is why
he contacted them for help regards his bank card problem. Then
another text was received by my son
“Or
else, staff could drop down and make call while you're there, in the
event they want to speak to account holder”
My
son replied “my mother, will ring the bank but you asking for my
login details is seriously fucking suspicious” and “I don't know
what Barry was up to but it's out of order” I did tell my son that
it was probably a genuine mistake as Barry was working night shift
and most likely exhausted.
Thank
you for contacting the Health Information and Quality Authority (the
Authority) where you brought information in relation to Gheel Autism
Services to the attention of the Authority. Your correspondence has
been forwarded to the appropriate inspector to review. The
Authority was established under the Health Act 2007 to set standards
for health and social care services in Ireland and to monitor
compliance with these standards. Under the Health Act 2007, the
Authority does not have a remit to address individual complaints in
relation to health and social care services. Each service provider
has a statutory responsibility to respond to complaints. I note you
have contacted the service provider, this is the correct process. May
I also suggest you contact Ms Leigh Gath a well known disability
advocate who has been appointed as a “Confidential Recipient”,
independent of the HSE. You can make a complaint or raise a concern
about the care and treatment of any vulnerable person receiving care
in a HSE or HSE funded facility. Her details are leigh.gath@hse.ie or
Ph:1890100014. ou can obtain more information on how to complain
about health and social care services in Ireland
from:www.healthcomplaints.ie or
you can contact either of the following organisations: HSE National
Information Line on 1850 241 850 or Office of the Ombudsman on 1890
223 030. Each
individual’s experience of the health and social care service is an
invaluable source of information to the Authority. The Authority
reviews all information received on the safety and quality of
services, as it could indicate that a service provider may not be
complying with standards and or regulations. The Authority will use
the information you have provided to inform the Authority’s ongoing
monitoring and enforcement programmes. It
is the policy of the Authority to hold your contact details and the
information provided in confidence. Personal
details or material facts which may reveal identity will not be
disclosed without first seeking your permission.
I
would like to thank you, once again, for bringing this matter to the
attention of the Authority.
Yours
sincerely,
Francesca
Kelly
IHC
Coordinator
Health
Information and Quality Authority
Email
from my son about the HIQA reply “May
I also suggest you contact Ms Leigh Gath a well known disability
advocate who has been appointed as a “Confidential Recipient”,
independent of the HSE. You can make a complaint or raise a concern
about the care and treatment of any vulnerable person receiving care
in a HSE or HSE funded facility. Her details are leigh.gath@hse.ie or
Ph:1890100014”
I
already have a Disability Advocate in the form of J.
“You
can obtain more information on how to complain about health and
social care services in Ireland from: www.healthcomplaints.ie or
you can contact either of the following organisations: HSE National
Information Line on 1850
241 850 or
Office of the Ombudsman on 1890
223 030”
N
already contacted the HSE National Information Line and all he
managed to do is put me in touch with Anne O'Loughlin (the Ombudsman
one is new, though.) She's telling you to submit a complaint that has
already been submitted, which they failed to investigate at all. It
looks like it's down to J at this point. I think he'll read your HSE
and HIQA complaints and take them seriously, unlike either the HSE or
HIQA”
4th
November
In
work and non stop texts from son about a “missing delivery note”
Said he's “exhausted and sweating with hunger” I am raging at
him, I've texted him repeatedly to tell me what shopping he needs and
I'll get it delivered to him. He's now got the hump with me.
Night
school. I don't know how the fuck I'm coping with a day job, a
night job and college. One thing I do know for certain, I'm not built
for stress of any description any more. It takes you apart layer by
layer till all you feel is raw fear and an exposed vulnerability.
Like you have a huge sign on your head saying WIPE FEET HERE so every
bugger on the planet will go ahead and do so.
6th
November
Son
texting me that his PIN number for bank is okay now and “have you
done anything Re: HIQA”
My
friend rang, “I think he should be encouraged to link in with
Advocate and give you some peace, I can hear in your voice how it's
affecting you”
9th
November
Son
is in bad mood, I apparently read his text “wrong” and not as he
wrote it. Fucking shoot me now. I must have gone crazy because I do
not understand what that means. I've been reading the English
language for nigh on 50 plus years now so how can I read something
“wrong” FFS
12th
November
Son
texting that he's going to two gigs but is in lot of pain and wants
me to go down to him with painkillers.
Me
to my son
“I
think you need to see the doctor to find out what it is”
From
my son
“I'll
see a doctor if push comes to shove but for the moment I want to see
how it goes. What time will you be round this morning with the muscle
relaxants and painkillers?”
From
me to my son
“I'll
text you when I am leaving the house as it will take me 20 mins to
get down your way by bus” The painkillers are Codipar
and the muscle relaxants are Anxicalm 2 mg tablets. I also have
a strip of Bisop beta blockers in case you run out of them. There is
only 2 Tramadol capsules. If there is anything else you want me to
pick up for you once I am out, let me know, I will text you when I
get the bus”
From
my son
“You
lied about the medication you had because you wanted to come and see
me. I've told you twice that Paracetemol is so weak that it won't
even cure the headache I've got now. The beta blockers aren't
propranolol so I'd be insane to take them in combination with what I
have now, if your blood pressure drops too low it leads to a heart
attack. What were you thinking? Why do you do this?”
I
lost my temper with my son and sent him a reply email:
My
incensed reply to my son “"Why
do you do this?" Why do I try to help more like. I did not lie
at all. You tell me that you are in pain and I find what I have and
tell you about them. I have asked if you wanted to go see the GP, I
have asked if you wanted an ambulance or if you want D Doc to visit
you re the "severe pain" you told me you were having. Why
would you think I want to see you when I said I would just drop them
off, you told me to knock on your window. I still shake with fear
over all you did to me over the years. The only time you contact me
is to help you and when I do try I still fail in your eyes. There is
nothing stopping you from getting medical help via yourself or via
Gheel. I work two jobs which are manual and I go to college in the
evening and my only morning off has been spent trying to help you and
all I get is the energy sucked out of me. I am sorry you're in pain
and I'm sorry I failed yet again to live up to your standards. You
are the most difficult character to deal with and not even a saint
would get a kind word from you but despite all that I still love you,
even tho you think and feel the opposite. I just could not cope any
longer, I do not know how to help you and when I do try it is always
met with resistance. You need to read the Asperger Experts link I
sent you weeks ago as it may be a start in self help from two guys
who have lived your life. I need to get to work now”
From
my son“I've
already texted Gheel outreach asking for the Abilify prescription. I
want this to end”
Email
my son received from Advocacy.ie that he forwarded to me
“From:
"J Date:
13 Nov 2015 4:04 p Subject: Re: Enquiry with national advocacy
service
“Hi,
I wanted to mail to update you and to keep you informed as to where
things are at. As per my previous mail, I followed up with your
mother and requested a copy of the complaints she compiled which she
forward to me. I have reviewed these and discussed them with my
manager, but given the detail involved I have subsequently forwarded
them on to her for further consideration as I did not want her to
have any details missing when considering what, if any supports we
can offer. I am due to meet with her next Wednesday and will follow
up with you after that, kind regards, J”
16th
November at 1.26pm text from my son
“I've
only been given 4 x 2mg of Clonazepam out of the 6 I need. They
patched over (with a sticker) where they slit open the packet”
16th
November at 1.28pm text from my son
“They
aren't missing. They were removed”
16th
November at 1.34pm I sent Gheel out reach phone a text
“Son's
delivery of meds is short of 2 x Clonazepan with no explanation as to
why. Can you contact him and let him know when he will have them. His
prescription is for 6 x Clonazepam, not 4. Someone has slit the
packet and covered the slit with a sticker”
16th
November at 1.39pm from Gheel outreach to me
“Hi
Anne, I'll get back onto “son” and get it sorted. Thank you for
your text. James”
16th
November at 1.43pm from Gheel outreach to my son
“Ok.
I'll have to find out who done that. I will drop 2 Clonazepam into at
about 4pm, is that ok?
16th
November at 3.20pm I sent Gheel out reach another text
“James,
my son just texted me. He doesn't know what prn means. His
prescription of Clonazepam is a benzo, which was prescribed for him
in the dose he receives. No one has the authority to reduce this
without careful monitoring of his health due to prior withdrawal he
endured. Benzo withdrawal is dangerous. I want to know who the person
is that made this decision without “my son” knowing anything
about it before I call the Garda. You are seriously putting the
health, welfare and safety of my son at risk. I await your reply”
16th
November at 3.24pm text received from James at Gheel outreach
“I
am just in the process of explaining things to “son” He is no
danger of withdrawal as he has adequate medication. Thanks Anne.
James”
16th
November at 3.24pm I sent James at Gheel outreach phone a text
“I
hope you are a doctor and have given him a full health check since
deciding to reduce his meds without his knowledge or agreement”
16th
November at 3.27pm text I received from James at Gheel outreach
“His
meds are not reduced”
16th
November at 3.27pm text from son
“Just
ignored a phone call from them. Only communicate via text so I have a
record”
16th
November at 3.31pm text from son
“The
packet cut open (with Clonazepam removed) is dated the 19th
of this month. I was only given extra meds to go out with Paul on the
30th”
16th
November at 3.37pm another text I sent to James at Gheel outreach
“Since
the 11th of May “my son” has been given 6 x Clonazepam
on Mondays and 8 on Thursdays. He received an emergency prescription
to go to the bank with Paul because his bank card would no longer
work for him, he needed this emergency prescription because his
anxiety and adrenalin levels were huge as he had no shopping
delivered due to a non working bank card, his anxiety levels counter
acted the meds he'd taken which is why he was given an emergency
prescription. I have asked you once and I'll ask again, who is
responsible for opening and removing 2 of his Clonazepam and on who's
authority”
16th
November at 3.49pm text to me from James at Gheel Outreach
“The
medication that “son” received when going to sort his bank card
are the ones missing from the pouch”
16th
November at 3.51pm another text I sent to James at Gheel outreach
“The
clue is in the word “emergency” I require the name of the person
who made this decision without my son's knowledge or consent. My
third time of asking you”
16th
November at 4.03pm text to me from James at Gheel outreach
“The
medication was taken for “son's” use. He received them”
16th
November at 4.08pm another text I sent to James at Gheel outreach
“My
son is missing 2 Clonazepam for the 19th, I am still awaiting the
name of the person who made this decision. Darragh Byrne told my son
on August 15 that there was an emergency prescription from Prof
Fitzgerald for “emergency use” that he could avail of, which
happened on the 30th. This is a separate prescription to
his weekly deliveries. Confirm with Darragh Byrne if you have to. Do
not treat my son as having no rights or sense and get your facts
right before you put my son at risk”
My
son texted Gheel outreach phone at 4.14pm
“Please
tell me Peter Byrne's number. I want it clear that I do not want him
calling me. I just want his number so I can hand it over when asked”
My
son got a reply to the above text from James, Gheel outreach worker
“Hi,
I've just spoke to the Gheel nurse and she has informed me that the
reason the (2 meds) were taken from the pouch was that the
prescription for the emergency medication had not come thru at the
time you needed them. It was Darragh who made the decision to take
the (2 meds) from the pouch with a view to replacing them.
The Gheel nurse has informed me that she has arranged your medication
for Thursday which will have the replacement (2 meds) and one
for emergency. I hope this clears thing up. James”
James
a social care outreach worker was asked 6 times in total who had
opened the medication that was sealed and on whose authority had it
been done. Only after my son had asked for the CEO's phone number did
he get the real story. James did not provide the CEO's phone number
to my son"
Me
to my son
“Can
you write and tell me in a paragraph what severe anxiety personally
feels like for you, I want to drive it home the effect of something
like this happening out of the blue made you feel and why they, the
so called experts should have known better than to do what they did
today”
From
my son
“No
need for a paragraph. Two words: Pure terror”
My
son emailed J from Advocacy.ie
“On
the 19th of October I received an email from Anne O'Loughlin where
she said she'd be in touch by Friday the 23rd of October. I had no
contact since that email. I had a major problem with Gheel today
regarding their abuse of power over my prescription. Anxiety, for me,
means pure terror. Your website states: “NAS works
to ensure that when life decisions are made, due consideration is
given to the will and preference of people with disabilities and that
their rights are safeguarded” but I do not feel safeguarded. At
1:21pm today my prescription was dropped off by a Gheel Residential
Outreach team member named James, who was also at my address to
collect a lease I'd signed for the flat I live in. My prescription is
almost always handed to me in tiny brown envelopes. These envelopes
contain sealed, plastic packets which hold my medication. I always
take the envelope, shut the door and then go back inside to tear open
the packets and sort the three different types of prescription meds
into old pill bottles. This is the moment I find out that some of my
meds are missing whenever Gheel decide to withhold them (this must be
the 7th time they've done so since August by this point. I've
honestly lost count.) I was not told by James that someone had cut
open and removed 2x2mg clonazepam tablets and then sealed the packet
containing those tablets with a sticker. I sent my mum a
text about it and she contacted Gheel to ask why no explanation
had been given to me regards the opened/resealed packet and the meds
missing from it. I then got a text from James saying he would find
out who had done this and he would drop the missing tablets to me at
"about 4:00pm." I had another text from him claiming that
they had been removed so I could use them as "PRN." I did
not know what this meant until texting mum. I panicked as I thought I
would be forced into benzo withdrawal yet again. I had sent most of
the Residential Outreach staff the video I sent you of that man dying
due to his own experience with benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.
My mum then started texting James looking for an explanation. She was
sent a text telling her that I was in no danger of withdrawal as I
had "adequate medication." James is a social care worker,
not a qualified doctor and even if he was one he is completely
unfamiliar with my case (i.e. proper dosage as well as my dosing
schedule.) He also claimed that my meds had not been "reduced"
so I took a photo of the packets (which I hadn't opened yet) to prove
they had removed 2x2mg clonazepam. I was then sent a text from
James saying my meds are not "reduced," they are "missing"
because I had been given an emergency prescription on 30th of October
(16 days earlier.) This is a lie, I was told by Darragh Byrne
on the 21st of August that the emergency prescription was nothing to
do with my weekly prescription, but was extra for whenever I needed
it, but that Gheel would hold it. I had to access this 'emergency
prescription' on the 30th of October so I could leave my flat to sort
out a problem with my card at the bank. My mum asked James three
times who was responsible for cutting open and removing my meds and
on whose authority they did so. She was not given any name. I asked
twice for the name of the person who did this and I was not told
either. I also asked James for the phone number of Peter Byrne, the
CEO of Gheel, and I was ignored. This was done to me without my
knowledge or consent and I am sick of it. I do not have rights as
Gheel are above the law; doing what they like when and how they like
with the medication that I need in order to avoid major anxiety the
likes of which I had to go through all day today as well as horrific,
health-damaging withdrawal caused by abrupt cuts to my doses or
dosing schedule. I eventually received a text, with a poor excuse
for an explanation, at 5:09pm (but I doubt I would have received any
explanation at all if I hadn't persisted.) It has drained me and left
me with a headache from exhaustion as all I could do was panic all
day as Gheel's higher-ups (Peter and Darragh Byrne) expected me to go
without my prescription medication. The explanation I was given was
bullshit and had several holes in it, each of which indicated clearly
that I was lied to multiple times, but I'm just too tired now to
point these holes out. I can't keep living like this. My next dose
isn't until Thursday. I'm not going to sleep very well over the next
few days, if at all”
17th
November My email to my son
“I
have to say them getting you an appointment with the professor was
pretty quick but it's your call whether you go or not, might be worth
going and telling him to get Darragh Byrne to stop acting like a
doctor and messing around with your medication or you will get
yourself a solicitor. And have proof of you telling him this if you
do go. You do need to think long and hard about anti psychotics tho
but I suppose you have researched them thoroughly. As
soon as I woke up this morning I thought that if all them at Gheel
can treat you this way and you have a high IQ, how are they treating
the poor sods with no communication, they are not doctors, fuck sake
they advertise for people on C.E schemes who have no bloody training
or experience at all to be their Social Care workers. I am raging at
that twat James telling me “he's in no danger of withdrawal as he
has adequate medication" how the hell does he know anything
about these meds if he aint a doctor and how does he know the effect
on you going without has on you.
“Prof
Fitzgerald is a very elderly and not particularly attentive man. I
will not see him and I will have nothing to do with Gheel regarding
meds from now on. I will not respond to texts from them on Mondays
and Thursdays. I will be treated better in prison”
“Dear
Anne O'Loughlin, I am writing to you regarding my son. You
emailed him on 4th September 2015 and told him to be assured
that you would take his allegations of Carer Abuse seriously and
would carry out a comprehensive assessment of his allegations. To
this date you have not once spoken to my son, he sent you two emails
which you did not acknowledge and you also received two voice mails
from me and also an email from me asking you to contact my son
directly as you had failed to do so on the date you had given him.
On
the 19th October, you sent my son this email and you also
sent it to me. I was unaware at this time that not once had you
spoken personally with my son but it appears you were very active in
speaking to all and sundry at Gheel Autism and came to your
conclusion without speaking at all to the person who you assured on
the 4th of September that you “will take your allegation
seriously and carry out a comprehensive assessment of this
allegation” how did you perform this task without talking to my son
who has accused Gheel staff of Carer Abuse. Are the
professionals the only people with rights. It appears my son has no
rights at all. His medication is still being tampered with, removed,
withheld, call it what you will by people who are not medically
trained nor qualified but think they can do what they want, when they
want without the consent or knowledge of my son. My son has a very
high IQ, he has Aspergers Syndrome and Agoraphobia and he is supposed
to be living independently. Gheels Outreach workers are simply
couriers to facilitate the delivery of his medication due to his
agoraphobia but do not appear to be able to do this without abuse of
my sons rights. You further told him by email on the 19th of
October “I contacted the HSE in Dublin North Central to try to
arrange that another organisation deliver the medication on a weekly
basis i.e. on aMonday, so that Gheel Services would no
longer be involved in the delivery/courie r of your prescribed
medication. If this is not feasible I am trying to source a pharmacy
that can deliver medication or organise that another
service deliver to you weekly. I will also need to source
the funding required for this task. I hope to have a decision on this
by Friday 23rd October and will communicate with you on the
future plan to deliver your medication and the schedule around this”
It is now the 18th of November and nothing of which you stated
has been done for him. Why not?
It
is a disgrace that you did not even speak to him but merely listened
to a service whose first port of call is protection of
themselves whilst in receipt of over 6 Million Euro per annum from
the tax payer. It is a disgrace that my son does not know when
the new regime of delivery of his meds will take place as it appears
to have been forgotten, swept under the carpet. It is a disgrace that
the Outreach staff and the Outreach Manager who surprise, surprise
happens to be the CEO's son can do what ever the hell they
please regarding my sons medication with no come back
whatsoever. We thought you were part of a safeguarding team who would
safeguard my sons rights, it appears that you have failed
him as the abuse of power which my son alleges is still taking place
and happened this week without his knowledge nor consent and the
following are his own words to an Independent person, perhaps you
would like to know how it feels to be a Service User with an agency
who ride roughshod over you and repeatedly breach your rights.
My
son own words:
On
the 19th of October I received an email from Anne
O'Loughlin where she said she'd be in touch by Friday the 23rd of
October. I had no contact since that email.
I
had a major problem with Gheel today regarding their abuse
of power over my prescription. Anxiety, for me, means pure terror.
Your
website states: “NAS works to ensure that when life decisions are
made, due consideration is given to the will and preference of people
with disabilities and that their rights are safeguarded” but I do
not feel safeguarded.
At 1:21pm today
my prescription was dropped off by a Gheel Residential
Outreach team member named James, who was also at my address to
collect a lease I'd signed for the flat I live in. My prescription is
almost always handed to me in tiny brown envelopes. These envelopes
contain sealed, plastic packets which hold my medication. I always
take the envelope, shut the door and then go back inside to tear open
the packets and sort the three different types of prescription meds
into old pill bottles. This is the moment when I get to find out that
some of my meds are missing whenever Gheel decide to withhold them
(this must be the 7th time they've done so since August by this
point. I've honestly lost count.)
I
was not told by James that someone had cut open and removed 2x2mg
clonazepam tablets and then sealed the packet containing
those tablets with a sticker. I sent my mum a text about it
and she contacted Gheel to ask why no explanation had been
given to me regards the opened/resealed packet and the meds missing
from it.
I
then got a text from James saying he would find out who had done this
and he would drop the missing tablets to me at "about 4:00pm."
I had another text from him claiming that they had been removed so I
could use them as "PRN." I did not know what this meant
until texting mum. I panicked as I thought I would be forced into
benzo withdrawal yet again. I had sent most of the Residential
Outreach staff the video I sent you of that man dying due to his own
experience with benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.
My
mum then started texting James looking for an explanation. She was
sent a text telling her that I was in no danger of withdrawal as I
had "adequate medication." James is a social care worker,
not a qualified doctor and even if he was one he is completely
unfamiliar with my case (i.e. proper dosage as well as my dosing
schedule.) He also claimed that my meds had not been "reduced"
so I took a photo of the packets (which I hadn't opened yet) to prove
they had removed 2x2mg clonazepam.
I
was then sent a text from James saying my meds are not "reduced,"
they are "missing" because I had been given an emergency
prescription on 30th of October (16 days earlier.)This is a lie,
as I was told by Darragh Byrne on the 21st of August that the
emergency prescription was nothing to do with my
weekly prescription, but was extra for whenever I needed
it, but that Gheel would hold it. I had to access this 'emergency
prescription' on the 30th of October so I could leave my flat to sort
out a problem with my card at the bank.
My
mum asked James three times who was responsible for cutting open and
removing my meds and on whose authority they did so. She was not
given any name. I asked twice for the name of the person who did this
and I was not told either. I also asked James for the phone number of
Peter Byrne, the CEO of Gheel, and I was ignored.
This
was done to me without my knowledge or consent and I am sick of it. I
do not have rights as Gheel are above the law; doing what
they like when and how they like with the medication that I need in
order to avoid major anxiety the likes of which I had to go through
all day today as well as horrific, health-damaging withdrawal caused
by abrupt cuts to my doses or dosing schedule.
I
eventually received a text, with a poor excuse for an explanation,
at 5:09pm (but I doubt I would have received any
explanation at all if I hadn't persisted.) It has drained me and left
me with a headache from exhaustion as all I could do was panic all
day as Gheel's higher-ups (Peter and Darragh Byrne) expected me to go
without my prescription medication. The explanation I was given was
bullshit and had several holes in it, each of which indicated clearly
that I was lied to multiple times, but I'm just too tired now to
point these holes out. I can't keep living like this.
My
next dose isn't until Thursday. I'm not going to sleep very well over
the next few days, if at all”
I
would like you to please note the fact that my son's medication was
tampered with without his knowledge nor consent, in fact he
was not even told about this. I would like you to please note that
my son twice asked James a Gheel Outreach worker for the
name of the person who authorised and who opened and removed his
medication but he was not told. I would like you to please note that
I asked this same Outreach worker three times on my son's behalf who
the person responsible was and I did not get any response. I would
like you to please note that my son asked James from the Outreach
team for the telephone number of the CEO of Gheel Peter Byrne and was
ignored and was not given this number. I would like you to please
note from my son's own words above that the eventual explanation came
via text at 5.09pm which my son states in response that he was lied
to and this explanation came 4 hours after he found out his
medication had been tampered with. I would like you to please note
from my son's own words the impact this had on him physically and
emotionally for the 4 hours whilst he panicked. I would like you to
explain why you held your extensive and comprehensive investigation
into my sons's allegations of carer abuse without speaking to my son
and I would like an answer. CC Tony O'Brien
Email
to my son
“I
just rang Pat Healy's office and spoke to a woman called Daire
Scanlon, who is just lovely. I gave her your number. She is
going to talk to some people about all I told her re Gheel, please
answer your phone if it rings”
My
email to my son
“Had
three missed calls from Padraig now, I spelled it wrong last time, I
have an awful migraine so have had to cancel going to work. I just
spoke to that chap and he is lovely, I told him I would send him the
email sent to Anne O'Loughlin today and he wants to see the text you
got from James and I said I would send him the screen shot of the
meds that were interfered with too. Seems like someone is at last
doing something”
From
my son
“That's
fantastic. I hope it leads somewhere”
I
sent the email I sent Annem.oloughlin@hse.ie
to Padraig who works for the HSE plus a screen shot that my eldest
took of his conversation with Gheel worker James. Padraig had
requested these from me.
“James,
Gheel's Outreach worker appeared to have the stance that my son in
fact owed these meds because he'd previously been given them to leave
his flat on an emergency basis when in fact the emergency
prescription was completely separate. If people are working for an
Autism Service they must learn and understand how that person lives
being on such high alert all the time as is their norm and how
anything which upsets "their apple cart" impacts on them
which my son explains in the email I sent to Anne O'Loughlin. Thank
you Padraig
My
son forwarded me the email he got from J his advocate
Hi,
Thanks for the update. I appreciate that it can’t have been easy to
write given the anxiety you were feeling at the time. As per my
previous mail I spoke to my manager in relation to your enquiry and
am mailing to come back to you in relation to it. You expressed
when I queried as to the goals you would like to pursue, that you
would like to see Peter and Darragh Byrne jailed and Professor
Fitzgerald disbarred for abuse of power/ clinical malpractice. So
that you are clear NAS is not a legal advocacy service, but rather
provides representative advocacy so I can not comment on whether
Gheels practice might be deemed clinical or medical malpractice from
a legal perspective. Following from that I think it is important
that you are clear that we could not directly support you to
take any legal case against Gheel or professor Fitzgerald but
indirectly could support you to instruct a solicitor in relation to
same. With the first step in that process being to seek a legal
opinion in relation to the merits of the case you would like to
bring. I am aware from the mail your mother forwarded me that your
difficulties with Gheel have already been considered by the
Gardai and were not at that time deemed by the Garda involved to
be a criminal matter, but that potential medical or clinical
malpractice was mentioned at that time. If
you are focused on pursuing this, we could offer to support
you to link in with a legal practice to query them on the merits of
your enquiry within a legal context, and whether it would be
considered before the courts and would have a reasonable chance of
success. While we can not recommend one practice over another, and
you can of course go with seeking advice from any practice, we have
had previous dealings with a legal practice who are recognised as
having expertise in the area of disability rights, and they have been
suggested to me as the most appropriate practice to offer advice in
relation to your enquiry and the goals you have put forward. They run
information and advice clinics, and are also open to phone
consultation in relation to enquiries. I attach below the url for
information from their site for your consideration:
With
regards to linking in with KOD Lyons I would see that support would
consist of forwarding to them a copy of your enquiry, the complaint
already submitted to the HSE and HIQA and a cover letter from our
service in relation to it to act as a summary to the enquiry, which I
will draft and send to you for consideration prior to sending on.
Based
on the feedback from KOD Lyons in relation to your enquiry we could
have a further discussion around what you want to do about the issues
you are having with Gheel at present. Let me know you thoughts and we
can take things from there, so I to be clear as to responses, I don't
work Thursday and am tied up with appointments Friday, so it will be
early next week before I am back to you on any response, kind
regards, J”
18th
November email to my son from me
“What's
your thoughts on this? I do not know what KOD Lyons means, do you?”
From
my son
“It's
a legal firm, I think. Haven't checked it out, yet. I'm a bit
concerned that my advocate doesn't want to be seen advocating for me
when it comes to the law. That's not right at all.
My
reply to my son
“He's
not legal, he is disability rights. I think if the meds were
delivered directly to you with Gheel having no interference with
them, then this would be a huge weight off you and and also having
someone independent of Gheel you could pick up phone to deal with
Gheel on your behalf would also help. It's pretty simple really so I
do not know why it cannot happen that way.
From
my son
“Gheel
should not be involved in my prescription in any way shape or form. I
want everything through my GP but apparently he told O'Loughlin that
he didn't want to take over from Prof Fitzgerald”
Me
to my son
“Once
Padraig has got back to me I am going to ask him to phone the GP and
find out what he is playing at or he will be getting reported to the
Medical Council for neglect of duty and care re his patient”
From
my son “He
neglected me when I first went to see him and he backed away saying
he couldn't overrule a specialist (Fitzgerald) and that I should talk
to Peter Byrne (not a specialist or even a doctor.)”
From
my son
“Today's
meds with my non-existent emergency prescription”
Email
from me to my son
“From
what I can gather re excuse about missing meds from 19th is that they
"borrowed" the meds from your normal supply and then wanted
to put them back. Why there was not an emergency prescription as you
had previously been told by Darragh Byrne is a mystery, I think now
he merely used that as a way to get you to re engage with them, then
Paul gave you 8 by mistake so they would need to officially sort that
out as per the documentation they hold but they can't as he messed up
by giving you 8 instead of 4. They will not hand you any emergency
meds as it is for when you go out, as in gigs, they said, so I don't
know why you expected extra today, I think they meant they would get
extra to replace the emergency ones that they apparently hold at
Gheel. I have heard didley squat from Anne O'Loughlin in reply, what
a surprise”
From
my son
“What
about Padraig?”
From
me to my son
“Not
a word back from him but he did say he is based in Donegal and was
only in Dublin for the day standing in for Gerry. I have not had any
acknowledgement re the forwarding of email to Anne O'Loughlin or the
screen shots but I think he will just hand all over to Gerry. I
listened to the voicemail Gerry left and he works for Socialcare.ie,
that is Pat Healy's domain. The advocate gave you his contact details
before by email, it's just his email addy is @hse.ie so
I feel better about that.
I'll
let you know as soon as I hear from either him or Gerry but I do
think that you will get the call first as the email I forwarded
explains all going on for you re abuse of power via Gheel”
24th
November
Email
from my son. Subject Line “No
concert tomorrow. Hope you're happy”
“A
tacit admission that this emergency prescription doesn't even exist,
via Tim. Go ahead and pretend you don't understand a fucking word
I'm saying, again. I've swallowed all of my Lyrica and I'm going to
order some absinthe tomorrow so I have the balls to inject myself
with some insulin.
My
reply to my son “You know
I work all day Tuesday's. The bloke called Tim readily admits he does
not know and I reminded you to put in the order for the emergency
prescription over a week ago when you first mentioned the gig. If you
have the email addresses for Gheel Outreach workers who have
delivered your meds before gigs before, email them telling them
how much and when they did so. How much Lyrica have you taken today?
What on earth are you doing with Insulin? You are just angry and will
end up in hospital in a bad way which you will hate”
From
my son to me
“Gheel
do not check their emails unless prompted via text as they use a
shitty web-based email software rather than Gmail. They never
intended to let me go to the gig. The "emergency prescription"
that I can use "whenever I need it, for gigs and things" is
just 4mg (2 pills) despite the fact they know I need 10x2mg for these
crowded shows. Darragh is a spiteful, evil bastard and I cannot live
like this any longer”
From
me to my son
“I'm
sending help”
24th
November, Text I sent to Gheel outreach at 6.38pm
“Who
is on duty. My son is making some serious threats of self harm. He
wrote the email at 11.12am but I've just read it now at 6.38pm”
24th
November
Text
I sent to Gheel outreach at 6.59pm
“I've
sent Garda to his address”
24th
November
Text
to me from Gheel Outreach phone at 7.04pm
“Hi
Anne, Paul here. I'll head round there now. What was in email??”
24th
November
Text
from my son at 7.06pm
“Had
a phone call from the Garda station saying they were going to call an
ambulance. You have never stopped betraying me”
24th
November
Text
I sent to Gheel outreach at 7.08pm
“He's
very angry about no emergency script so no concert tomorrow. He's
swallowed week worth of Lyrica and has Insulin that he plans to kill
himself with tomorrow. The Garda just rang him, said he sounds upbeat
but he would do after all that Lyrica. Garda car going to him now”
24th
November
Text
received from Gheel outreach at 7.12pm
“Ok.
I'll see if he'll talk to me”
24th
November at 9.28pm
Text
from son
“Had
2 Garda at door and spoke to Paul for 2 hours. I gave him the tickets
and asked him to give them away. He said he had a meeting on Thursday
and would bring up my complaints about Darragh and stand up for me”
24th
November
Text
received from Gheel outreach at 9.33pm
“Spoke
to him for cpl hours there. Garda dropped by. He's frustrated with
everything. He's safe. Paul”
24th
November
Text
I sent to Gheel outreach at 9.34pm
Thanks.
He's texting me. Does he still have the Insulin? He must have bought
it online, he knows what kind of death it causes, he's emailed me
about it”
24th
November
Text
received from Gheel outreach at 9.42pm
“Think
so but I don't think he'll use it. He's fed up but looking at other
options to sort what's going on”
From
me to my son
“My
credit is low. I could not have sat on that information you gave me
and I am glad the Garda visited to make sure you would be ok. Would
having a few drinks beforehand have helped you go to the gig if you
did not have the amount of meds you needed. I am asking because I
don't know. I was thinking it might be better having a plan B. Just a
suggestion. I hope Paul is true to his word but hope too you will be
clearer in stating your needs to them via Paul, you may have done so
already, I do not know. My friend in London, E's partner killed
himself with an Insulin overdose, it was awful and was not quick, no
matter what investigations you read online about it. I hope Paul gets
thru to that lot for you. Did you get any call from anyone at Social
care? I had no reply from Anne O'Loughlin”
From
me to my son
“There
is still time to change your mind about the concert if you could have
booze before hand instead of meds, is that viable, Paul will not give
the tickets away”
From
me to my son
“I
hardly meant pissed. Three would make you relaxed and less inhibited.
I could get it for you in the morning and text Paul to drop off the
tickets in the morning and arrange someone you get on with to go with
you. You cannot give up this chance to go especially when you have
looked so forward to going to it. Did you get the chance to talk to
Paul about the extra meds you need to just get you out the door”
From
me to my son
“Ok,
done. I'm waiting for a reply now to see if James is still signed up
to go with you tomorrow night. It is going to be lashing with rain
tomorrow, do you have a winter jacket to wear. I have to go to work
but not till 12 noon and then have college but can get the coat I
bought you delivered. Let me know, you don't have to accept it”
24th
November
Text
I sent to Gheel outreach at 10.24pm
“Paul,
I think I've convinced “son” to go to the concert tomorrow and
take a couple of drinks to relax him instead of depending on strong
meds. Can you not give the tickets away as I think going will help
his whole mindset. James was supposed to go with him. Could you
please find out. This will be a huge step in the right direction for
him. Thanks”
24th
November
Text
received from Gheel outreach at 10.29pm
“Awesome!
Great call Anne, yeah, it's still ok. James will go and tickets still
available. I'll let “son” know. I'm so glad you changed his mind.
I felt really disappointed for him and could tell he was disappointed
too”
From
me to my son
“Paul
said yes, James still set to go with you so that is brilliant as I
know you were really looking forward to it. Don't drink all the
naggon, 3 drinks should do the trick”
I
feel so drained.
25th
November
Working
all day. I bought my son a beautiful grey winter wool coat so he can
wear it to the gig he's going to. I sent it to him by cab.
Got
text from son re coat.
“this
thing is fucking enormous” followed by “A psychiatrist rang me,
not interested in anything I had to say, she would not listen so I
told her to fuck off” No reply to me asking him who the
Psychiatrist was.
Was
in work till 5pm then straight on to college. Lost count of how many
texts son sent even tho I told him I would be in college and he's at
a gig. He said “James standing at bar on his phone the whole time”
and he was standing on his own next to the giant speakers. He loved
it and I am delighted for him that he went. I sent him a text “I am
so proud of you, let me know you get back safe and sound” I was cut
to the bone when he replied “fuck telling you I'm safe” The
horrible twat that he is. I never fucking learn, do I?
25th
November
My
Email to Socialcare.ie
“Dear
Daire Scanlon, Thank you for being so kind, helpful and pro
active after I rang you on Wednesday 18thNovember. I
received a call from Padraig and gave him the history of my son as
best I could via telephone. I suggested it would be better if I sent
him the email I sent to Anne O'Loughlin re her “comprehensive
investigation” of Gheel Autism Services when she did not speak to
my son in person about his allegations of Carer Abuse and also with
my son's consent I emailed Padraig various texts between my son
and Gheel Outreach workers. Padraig did say he
was only in Dublin for the day and was standing in for Gerry ? It is
now seven days later and neither I but more importantly my son have
received any kind of contact from Social Care other than the call
from Padraig. It is also seven days since I emailed Anne O'Loughlin
asking her for answers re her “comprehensive investigation”
without speaking to my son at all re his allegations and also no
reply, acknowledgement or answer from her.
I
wish to inform you that my son, took an overdose of his Lyrica
prescription yesterday and threatened to inject himself with Insulin.
I had to call the Garda as Gheel Autism Outreach did not
respond to my text sent to them at 6.38pm informing them that my son
had made serious threats to harm himself. Only after I sent Gheel
Autism another text at 6.59pm telling whoever was on duty that I had
sent the Garda to my son's address did I get a response at 7.04pm
asking me what was written in my son's email and that they would
“head round there now” The Outreach worker spent two hours
talking to my son and said he is “frustrated with everything but he
is safe” and later texted that he “did not think my son would use
the Insulin” after I wanted to know if he still had the Insulin
vials in his flat. I spent over two hours emailing my son to try and
get his mindset changed so he would not end his own life, he has not
even lived yet as he has been in this position since 2006 and I have
fought for help, service and support for him since 2009
via Gheel Autism. They are a disgrace of an agency and I
agree with my son in that they lie in self protection and
are paid over 6 million per year by the HSE so why would they not lie
and neglect to still be in receipt of that amount of tax payers
money. So if I with my big mouth and lioness attitude for my son has
failed him since 2006 because no one cares then who is out there who
will care when all professionals to date simply ignore him and have
ignored me screaming at them to get him help and to get us answers.
I am adding the email I wrote to Anne O'Loughlin last week and have
had no response to and she is supposed to “safeguard” the
vulnerable. Can you please tell me what to do before my son succeeds
in killing himself because I will go insane if he does succeed. Thank
you Daire for your help to date. Yours sincerely”
25th
November
“Dear
Anne, I wish to acknowledge receipt of your email below in relation
to the above. I wish to inform you that I have forwarded your
correspondence to Mr. Gerry Clerkin, Head of Quality &
Safety - Social Care
Division - qps.socialcare@hse.ie. Mr. Clerkin will
reply to you directly. Regards, Daire Scanlon on behalf of Pat Healy,
National Director Social Care,Health Service Executive”
Email
to a Friend
“Hi,
Hope all is good with you. I had a very scary time of it last night
with my son.
He
hadn't spoken to me since last Thursday but I came home from work to
an email he had sent me at 11.12am yesterday morning, "Go ahead
and pretend you don't understand a fucking word I'm saying, again.
I've swallowed all of my Lyrica and I'm going to order some absinthe
tomorrow so I have the balls to inject myself with some insulin"
and he had added screen shots of texts between him and Gheel about
meds he needs to go to a gig and they would not allow it but his
stance is they always have done so before so why deny him now. I sent
Gheel a text "“Who is on duty, my son is making some serious
threats of self harm, he wrote the email at 11.12am but I've just
read it now at 6.38pm” There was no reply from them.
I
rang the Garda who said they would send a car down to check on him, I
then got a call from the Garda who spoke to him on the phone and said
he sounded happy, I said so would you if you had swallowed a week
supply of strong meds and then read him my son's email to me. He
agreed to go down and check on him. I then sent Gheel Outreach
another text telling them the Garda were going to check on my son. At
7pm Gheel then replied asking what was in my son's email to me and
when I told him he said he would head down to him. My son was not
happy with me, he sent me a text saying I always betray him but after
4 hours I think I managed to convince him that he could still go to
the gig if he took a few drink to relax him instead of always
depending on strong meds, he said he would order a naggon with his
shopping and go to the gig but I know once the week supply of meds
wear off he might change his mind again. I sent Gheel a text asking
Paul if my son still had the Insulin vials on him, he replied “think
so but do not think he will use them” my son later said “Paul is
having a meeting on Thursday and said he would stand up for me”
whatever that means. I haven't heard from my son this morning and
I'm heading into work. I will go insane if I just sit in the house
even tho it's my day off, I also have college tonight. My nerves are
really bad. I've sent those Social Care people an email telling them
what happened last night and that my son has not heard from one of
them since I spoke to Padraig last Wednesday and that Anne O'Loughlin
who had investigated his allegations of abuse did so without speaking
to him. I've asked what they intend to do to help him. I worked out
why Gheel took 2 of son's meds without his consent as son sent me a
text screenshot last week. Paul who was on duty last night was the
one who delivered his emergency meds to get him to the bank on 30th
October but he gave him 8 Clonazepam instead of 4 and as soon as he
left Paul realised his mistake and sent son a text telling him so,
son replied to him that it was too late as he'd taken the 8
Clonazepam the minute he closed the door on Paul. Paul freaked
because the documentation only covered 4 Clonazepam so I think that
Gheel must have decided to cover their mistake by taking 2 out one
week and would have taken another two the next week if son had no one
in his corner at all. What a mess. I am scared out of my mind that
he's investigated Insulin overdose as he was clear by text in how
death happens when you do inject with this and the fact that he's
bought it online shows how serious he is. I just hope that the email
to Social Care and the involvement of the Garda and now Paul from
Gheel must all have written a report will shows them all how serious
son is. Take care Friend. I had to write this all down as my head is
melted and I would not have remembered it all later”
Happier
sounding email from son
The
show was FUCKING
AMAZING.
I was standing next to the left subwoofer (my left, their right) and
felt all of the bass throbbing in my chest like it was coming to life
but
James was either hiding at the bar or the exit door for most of the
gig.I
WAS IN THE FRONT ROW FOR ALMOST EVERY SONG until
I offered my place to someone with a really pricey-looking camera. Oh
fuck I am so drunk and pumped up right now. I adore her. Going to
binge on junk food and then sleep. James was cool, btw”
26th
November Email to my Friend
“Hi,
Thanks. I went to work and college, my essay is due in on Dec 16th so
I need to get that done asap. Son went to the concert (drunk) but I'm
so happy for him that he went as he was raving about it and spent his
time there texting me about all that was happening, only one text out
of about 50 stung me so that's a good result. Huge light bulb moment
for me, son threatens suicide every time he does not get his own way.
He said a psych rang him yesterday but as she did not sound
interested in him explaining his complaints about Gheel he told her
to fuck off. He was brought up better than that. I will find out who
it was today from him. Take care”
Email
from son
“No
meds. Didn't text Gheel. Will do now”
Email
from son
“Texted
you saying I'd just got them”
In
work, son texted me “sent you an email, want you to read and do not
call the Garda and want an honest reply” I sent reply text that I'm
in work and won't get home till 7pm. My head was spinning, my nerves
shot to pieces about “do not call the Garda.
I
am so fucked off with him after reading his email.
27th
November Horrible email from son
“A
few things from Paul and James that you might be interested in, plus
my feelings regarding you: Paul mentioned on 24th that Darragh
Byrne's sister, also works for Gheel. I was also talking to James in
the car on the way to
or from the
gig (I was too drunk to remember which) and I mentioned that Paul
once said, when I asked, how many service users they'd managed to
'fix' or return to normalcy, Paul sheepishly said "oh, uh, one,
he goes to the shop on his own" or words to that effect. This
was years ago (2012, I think.) I then told James that, since that
conversation with Paul, I'd always wanted to ask Paul how many
service users had eventually committed suicide. He then became very
animated, despite being relaxed the whole way there and back, and
said "None! and I hope none ever will!" (the last bit in
reference to me, as you insisted on phoning the guards because I took
just a week's dose of Lyrica. You have never apologised for these
routine betrayals.) Anyone who involves the law in regards to
you cannot be trusted. This
is why I only contact you when I need help regarding Gheel. You
were my very last resort; I even went to my GP first, who threw his
hands in the air and admitted my appointment was a waste of time and
told me to meet with Peter Byrne to beg them not to abuse my own
prescription. Then I contacted “brother”, who essentially told me
to fuck off. And then I (very reluctantly) got in touch with you.
You're going to scream that this bloody email is "abuse"
while sending me a nasty email with hand-picked so-called
wrong-doings on my part and then ignore me for days on end (pure
mental and emotional abuse, which you'll ignore or perhaps even deny
as it's in your nature.) I've told you several times that I want to
die. Just as I told the Psychiatrist from St Vincent's that you told
to call me: it's bad
enough living like this and Gheel are deliberately making it worse.
And
so are you, as you're the only person I have to talk to and you
emotionally abuse me. Dad apologised to me once in 2006. You told
me, in shock, that this was more than you ever got. He apologised
again around January 2014 when I got in touch with him and he
eventually cut off all contact with me. I only got in touch with him
because I was desperate for someone in my own fucking family to talk
and care about what I'm going through as I've never really had any
friends and they wouldn't fucking care anyway. Dad cut off all
contact with me after I pressured him to come with me to see the new
Hobbit film together or just meet up and he equivocated before I
eventually told him to fuck off and die for messing with my head. I
have nothing and
never will. I need to die. I've attached a picture as proof that this
needs to end at some point. The expiry date is early next year. It
needs to end before then. But I can probably get more. I wish I
didn't come from a broken home. I wish I had decent parents who loved
me. I'm a statistic. You'll call the Guarda again, but both doors
are bolted and I have insulin syringes on my desk as well as my vial.
I'll have plenty of time to jab 100ius or even 200ius before they can
get to me; either dose is irreversibly lethal and will lead to a
painless death in my sleep, unlike your bullshit suggestion to scare
me off. I just want someone to care about me and the best you can do
is call the fucking police or a shrink or the people at Gheel who are
accomplices in abusing my prescription. You are soulless”
My
reply email to my son. Subject line “So
you want honest, here it is”
“Dear
son, I have never once said that Peter Byrne threw out
his Autistic son to be looked after by carers. I have no idea of that
man's family history except that he was a parent who helped start up
Gheel so probably had an Autistic child to start this venture. What
you are probably referring to is my stance that parents with money
offload their kids to others so they can continue on their career
paths, I made no mention of any parent with Autism doing this.
Gheel
are not a service who “fixes” people, they are a service who are
paid to and are meant to provide services and supports to those with
Autism and their families. It is my view, my personal experience that
they fail in all claims they make.
Your
email on Tuesday was read by me in the evening, I work hard and I
tire easily at my age and I contacted Gheel who did not respond to me
asking "who is on duty as “son” has made some serious
threats of self harm" I did what any sane person would do at
that given moment, I rang the Garda for advise and then informed
Gheel I had done so, only then did Paul reply after I told him the
Garda were going to your address to check on your well being. If Paul
had replied then the Garda would not have been called. I will never
apologise for trying continually to get you help and you use the term
“betrayal” often and loosely and have a very short memory.
Too
many people tip toe around you. I had to do so for years till I would
eventually snap and tell you by email what you were doing to me and
how you made me feel. I am a human too but you seem to think I am
not. All professionals expected me to “crack up” long before I
did.
I
have told you many times I know exactly what you think of me, I had
it in my face often enough, you just need someone to hate and that
someone is me, a psychologist once called me a “rescue mum”
because “no matter how your kids treat you, you always come to
their rescue and fight their battles” That got me nowhere, not even
love and respect from those who should have loved me unconditionally.
Another Consultant Psychiatrist informed me that “most mothers are
treasured as they are the first person kids love” You did indeed
love me up to the age of 12 when you and Dad leapt into one camp
against me and youngest in the cottage, I forget nothing, I have a
photographic memory for things that hurt me emotionally, and you
decided that being in dad's camp was better than being with the only
person who loved and cared for you. I cannot explain in one paragraph
but that was the start of me losing my mind and I kept journals, not
records, as even having a photographic memory during that time would
render anyone doo laley. I am going to send those journals to you as
they were written as happened and not as some fairy tale, it's up to
you if you read them or not but I know the truth, I lived it. Having
a selective memory does not make you right and me wrong.
And
for the record the Garda are protectors of all society and nothing
will stop me contacting them in protection of you. That is not a
matter of trust but of protection.
I
do not scream so no I wont be “screaming that this bloody email is
abuse” I know what real abuse is. I have no intention of
hand-picking any wrong doing. I have no intention of ignoring you for
days on end, I am simply busy and if I do not hear from you then I
have nothing to reply to, I keep replies on an as needed basis.
You
have told me since age 15 that you wanted to die but outright lied to
any psychiatrist, psychologist or Consultant Psychiatrist you would
see. This is your life and only you can change it but you have done
very little to help yourself, you texted me to be honest with you and
so I am being so because despite your hatred of me it is all I can be
and all I will ever be is totally honest, you just never liked that
honesty.
What
Psychiatrist did I tell you to call at St Vincent's because I have no
recall about that?
Your
Dad in all honesty is a basket case, he has never felt love for
anyone other than himself, he does not know how to be a dad and if
his family had informed me prior to marriage all they knew regard his
mental health then I would have ran for the hills and not gone near
him with a barge pole. Aunty filled me in about this 3 years ago, she
wanted to tell me in 1989 but was dissuaded by his mother. His ex
girlfriend also informed me after harassing me for over a year with
2,000 texts and 2,000 emails that she told him, not to keep in contact
with you and said you told him to “fuck off and die” by email
when he would not come and stay with you and be diagnosed by Gheel.
(Her words) All your dad wants is a woman and zero responsibility
which is why he would not pay maintenance to put food in your belly
or clothes on your back but I bloody did and he hid three quarters of
a million Euro but I'm the hated one, strange that. And in one fell
swoop he apologises to you and all is forgiven. Strange world we live
in. It's your life and you get to choose whether you live or not.
You
have nothing because you do nothing, nothing to help yourself,
nothing to change your life, nothing to strive or reach for. No
matter what anyone does for you is never good enough. All you want to
do is fight and argue or test people and still those people fail. How
about you fight, argue and help others. Do others not deserve that.
There is no test on earth that I could ever pass in your eyes, has it
ever dawned on you as an adult that I, your mother needs help and
support too at times.
I
am sorry, yes an apology, that you come from a broken home. I never
wanted my marriage to fail or end, I loved that man, I loved and
adored him but that was what your father wanted, he met some bird in
County L and instead of just telling me about it, he was cruel, as
cruel as you are to me always, he drove me out by never giving me a
penny to my name from 2002 to 2005, me an independent woman who had
three jobs in England reduced to a quivering wreck, I'm sure that
your mind will spark some recollection if you try hard enough.
This
parent, your mother, loved and loves you but all these words will do
is make you angry but aren’t you always angry anyway. Do you know
that I'm outgoing, extremely funny and friendly and loved by many
people just for my personalty, I am a people person, always have been
and always will be, but you, your father and your brother very nearly
destroyed me by your actions, words, behaviour and indifference to
me. In my own words, you all took the colour from me and left me a
shadow of my former self. I have been with no one else in 10 years, I
trust no one as those who should have loved me above all others did
not. You continually pushed my love away with your anger and your
behaviour, I always made excuses for you by thinking you were just
embarrassed as I'm a very tactile person but you were conceived by me
and you grew in me and I loved you in my womb and on giving birth.
You were conceived in love. You are loved but you reject my love, you
reject all and any kindness or love shown to you and you react to
that with sheer cruelty. There is only so much cruelty a person, a
mother can take.
This
is going to be harsh now but you have got to wake the fuck up and
smell the roses. You are wasting what life you have. You are
depressed and need help for that depression, you need to ask for it,
scream for it, no one is going to come banging on your door offering
it, how many more years are you going to waste, where the hell is the
boy who wanted to be in a rock band, be a lawyer, be a politician, be
a soldier, you have to work to achieve anything. Nothing is going to
land on your plate. You have got lazy, you get the hump and want
others to do your bidding or else!
You
should know your mother by now, I aint walking on no more egg shells,
I only have one life too and it has turned out crap but it's mine to
do as I wish and I want it peaceful at all times.
Put
up or shut up son, I will support you and fight for you tooth and
nail but we are either a family or we are not.
In
my view you are, as I said before, depressed and that needs to be
fixed first before anything else. Anyone who is depressed cannot see
further than their nose.
You
are, as I always said to your face, drop dead gorgeous and so
intelligent and brilliant to have a conversation with and could have
a wonderful life with someone who loves you for you but you need to
get this depression sorted out and that means changing doctors and
finding the courage to talk to people, not psychiatrists, or
psychologist's but people who have been where you are now. You could
have 50 plus years left to live (I don't) but I hope you clutch at
this straw and ask for help, that is all that counts, asking and it
can be done.
The
saying for insanity is “doing
the same thing over
and over again and expecting
different results” It is not working so try something else for
once, what do you have to lose except your life.
Mum”
I
sent all my journals by email to my son
I
spoke to my wonderful close friend Maria. I had kept all that was
happening to myself but she rang me and we had a good long chat. She
said “we need happy Anne back. Your son is an adult who knows what
he's doing to you. Let him torture his father and you look after you
and leave his mind games alone. If he wants someone to moan to, he
can contact his father”
I
haven't been able to get any studying done at all. My mind won't
rest. I've been sucked right back into deflecting and defending
myself against my son again when all I wanted to do was help him. All
he says by text and email has seriously affected my mind. I think I
must be mentally ill myself. I don't take any kind of shit from
anyone else so what the fuck is wrong with me. There must be
something flawed in me.
Not
a word out of son. He's probably reading my “honest” email
repeatedly and my journals, no doubt I will get reams of lambasting
messages from him. Only good thing to come out of it is his mind is
not on the damn Insulin. Why did the Garda or Gheel not remove those
vials of Insulin from him when they know his history. He sent me the
photo's of them lined up on his desk so if they entered his small
apartment they must have clearly seen them too.
7th
December
----------
Forwarded message ---------- From: Anne
O'Loughlin <annem.oloughlin@hse.ie> Date:
7 December 2015 at 12:48 Subject:
Response To:X Cc:
AMND <AM.ND@hse.ie> “Dear
X, I attach a letter for you outlining the outcome of my
investigation into your allegation of abuse by Gheel Autism Services.
I hope this will improve the situation regarding your medication. I
have also forwarded this letter to my Line Manager Ms. Mary Walshe
General Manager and HSE Acting Head of Social Care. Yours
sincerely. Anne O’ Loughlin,
Principal Social Worker, Safeguarding ans Protection Team CHO9, St.
Mary's Hospital, Phoenix Park, Chapelizod D20, Tel: 6250447
Fax: 6250450, annem.oloughlin@hse.ie
The
foot note on her letter had this, which to me is a sick fucking joke
“When
we go through tough time, little things like talking about our
problems, getting regular exercise, drinking less alcohol and being
involved in activities we enjoy can make a big difference to how we
feel. Find the little things that work for you at yourmentalhealth.ie
8th
December from me to my son
“That
more detailed response from Anne O' Loughlin was cc'd to her area
manager so I reckon she was made to give you a more detailed reply.
Yet it achieved nothing at all by the looks of things but all will
now be on record. She did not offer to meet with you in person or
alone or with someone of your choice as far as I recall.
“Gheel
see this as following the prescription and dispensing of the
medication as per Professor Fitzgerald. For your welfare and safety
they are concerned not to override this”
Absolute drivel as they had no previous problems giving out meds for
you to go out to gigs.
“The
recent event when medication was removed was given to you as a PRN
dose”
Rubbish, Paul messed up by giving you 4 extra by mistake so they
thought they would get them back as they wouldn't have been able to
account for them so just removed them to cover their mistake, they
did not account that you would cause such a stink over it.
“We
have requested that you will sign a receipt of your medication as
dispensed each week to assure yourself re non tampering of
medication”
Are Gheel Outreach staff willing to stand on the doorstep until you
check they have not been tampered with? What if you are not awake as
they do not drop of at the same time or will they now ensure that the
drop off's are at the same time every Monday.
“Gheel
are not in a position to adhere to your requests for medication that
is not prescribed”
I doubt you have ever asked them for meds that were not prescribed
for you and they have not bothered about you having the extra before
now to help you get out of the flat.
“Such
requests need to be communicated by you directly to Professor Fitz,
not advisable that Gheel act as intermediaries”
Total cop out. Gheel are paid to help, support and services of their
service users. Not a mention of Darragh Byrne telling
his Outreach staff when you requested delivery of your medication
that he said you should take a break from them, when he is not a
qualified doctor etc. Why no mention of this in her letters or
meetings.
“No
way I can condone the removal or tampering with your medication as is
alleged recently no matter that the motivation was to give you the
extra medication that you required”
You gotta love how they bullshit the truth and bend to suit
themselves. You were told by Darragh Byrne that Gheel held an
emergency prescription for your use to get you out, his text did not
say he would have to remove anything from your weekly medication and
there is nothing “alleged” about it. It is as
usual, bullshit, cover up by professionals for professionals.
You
need to think logically what you want to do re your medication, I
think you may need to change doctor as the one you have does not know
you and is just a lazy git anyway. You do not need the Professor to
keep dishing out a prescription that then needs to be changed to a
Medical Card one, any GP can prescribe the meds you are on. The only
difficulty would be the extra ones you need on an emergency basis but
the Professor can be held on stand by for them via Gheel. Think about
it and let me know. From 24th December everything
will be closed down until the 4th January so it's
best to try and get organised now and send a text to Gheel asking how
your meds will be delivered to you on 28th December,
they should have their work rota's done on a monthly basis so will be
able to tell you. Do not leave it till the last minute because I am
working on Xmas Eve.”
16th
December
College.
I don't know how I've done it but I've passed and have a Diploma in
Law.
31st
December
My
Email to my friend
Hi,
Happy New Year to you for tomorrow. I had an email from Track and
Trace from An Post, my son has not answered his door or had the DVD's
I sent him collected by Gheel so the parcel has gone back to the
delivery office. It says on the website that it was returned to
sender but my address is not on them. I just rang them so I can
get them back as they are home movies of me and the boys. That is 3
weeks now since my son sent me an email so he truly has the hump
again. I just hope he is alright”
Not
a word out of son. If I send him an email and he's in the wrong mood
it could antagonise him so I can't do right for doing wrong.
Questions
buzzing my brain
1/
How did Darragh Byrne go from being a car salesman for 9 years to
being made the Manager of the Outreach Team at Gheel Autism Services.
Stupid question really as the CEO of Gheel Autism
Services is his father. But how did he step into the Managers job.
2/
How is Darragh Byrne's name, according to my eldest son, on
everything to do with the apartment my son is living in.
3/
How did Darragh Byrne have the audacity to tell a care worker to tell
my son that he should be having a break from his medication. Who gave
him the power to make that medical decision and why did he get away
with that even when my son made a formal complaint to everyone but
specifically Anne O' Loughlin, Principal Social Worker, Safeguarding
and Protection Team Community Healthcare Organisation Area 9 Dublin
North City and County. My son accused Darragh Byrne, Peter Byrne and
some of Gheels Outreach team of Carer Abuse yet Anne O' Loughlin made
her decision without even speaking to him. How is that morally or
legally right for my son.
4/
Why did Paul, one of the Outreach team's staff make a mistake with my
son's medication by giving him extra tablets during his hand over of
them to my son, I do believe it was a genuine mistake but THEY ALL
colluded to cover up THEIR mistake by secretly tampering and removing
my son's medication without his knowledge or consent and resealing
the pack most probably in the hopes that my son would either not
notice or in the hope that he would not have made the fuss that he
did make. This Outreach care worker's job was to simply hand over my
sons medication that he collected from the chemist, it is not his
job to secretly tamper and remove their fuck up then lie about it to
cover their own mistake. How are they getting away with this. How did
Anne O' Loughlin let them get away with this.
5/
I got no rely to my many emails to the CEO of Gheel Peter Byrne
I
got no reply from my emails of complaint re 2009 to present date from
yoursay@hse.ie
The
only reply I got from Geraldine Murphy the Disability Manager in the HSE was made up bullshit that looks great on paper but was
LIES. Who lets them get away with this.
I
got no reply from Sheila Marshall the Area
Operations Manager for
Dublin North to my many emails sent to her re my family and the so
called Family Support Package from 2009. Why not.
I
got no reply from Tony O' Brien Director
General of the HSE.
I
got no reply from Anne O' Loughlin the Principal Social Worker,
Safeguarding and Protection Team Community Healthcare Organisation
Area 9 Dublin North City and County re my emails to her about my
eldest son and his claims of carer abuse by Gheel Autism Services.
I
got no reply from HIQA.
Why
did the Ombudsman NOT answer my questions about the Family Support
Package or answer why Dr Amitta Shah's extensive report and
recommendations were not implemented as I was told by Irish Autism
Action that what she recommended had to be adhered to by the HSE. Why
did the Ombudsman not even answer these questions.
Why
did all the agencies around the table at the Case Conference in the
women's refuge in 2010 after the knife incident ignore Consultant
Psychiatrist Dr Cannings words of telling them all to read Dr Shah's
report and recommendations and implement them.
Why
not. Who do these people think they are. Something stinks about Gheel
and all the rest of these HSE agencies.
I
didn't celebrate Xmas or New Year. I'm done with all that.
I met PJ Proby when I was a child in the village I was fostered in. He had a spot in our village Social Miners Club, long story, I will tell it one day. Lovely man.
